


The Adolescent Mental Resistance project

by Redmangos



Category: Free!
Genre: AU, Belting, Blow Jobs, Burns, Captivity, Captured, Comfort, Drugs, Electric Torture, Electricity, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exhaustion, Fainting, Fear, Fish, Hallucinations, Human Experimentation, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insanity, Kidnapping, Laboratories, Loss of Sanity, M/M, Mathematics, Memory Loss, Mental Breakdown, Mentions of Makoto's siblings, Mice, Paralysis, Punishment, Scars, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Sensory Deprivation, Sexual Abuse, Sleep Deprivation, Snakes, Spanking, Spiders, Starvation, Suffering, Tube Feeding, Water Torture, Waterboarding, Wetting, White rooms, horror movies, psychological torutre, sleep paralysis, slowly going insane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 59,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redmangos/pseuds/Redmangos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Iwatobi swim club guys and the major characters in the Samezuka swim team get kidnapped for experimentation on their mind. As they slowly go insane, they hope to one day leave the lab they're trapped in. Will they be able to escape with both their minds and bodies intact?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Captured

**Author's Note:**

> I'm torturing the poor boys but I hope you'll like it! I'll try my best not to make them OOC.

Haru slowly opened his eyes.

It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim lightning. He could only see ahead of him since he felt sluggish and was too tired to turn his head. He was in a room emptied of furniture with painted white walls and a single door barely discernible in its whiteness.

He felt weight on his shoulder and he forced his neck to move. His eyes widened when he saw the brown mess of hair. Makoto's head was resting on his shoulder, his breathing unusually slow. He was wearing a white shirt and white pants; as plain as can be. Haru looked down at himself to see that he was wearing the same clothes.

That was when he saw something yellow in his peripheral vison. Nagisa was lying down on the floor, his head on Rei’s chest. They were both unconscious and wearing the same white clothes.

_What’s going on?_

After a good minute, Haru detached himself from the wall, careful not to let Makoto fall, and looked around. Behind Makoto was another white door. There was no difference between the two doors in the room. Haru had no idea which was the exit or if they both led out of this room. He got up unsteadily and went to the door he first saw when he woke up.

It was no surprise to him that it was locked. He looked up at the ceiling. There was a little sphere on the corner that reflected the white light from the fluorescent tubes lining the ceiling. Haru immediately knew it was a camera. He swallowed and hurried over to Makoto. He wasn’t even sure if Makoto would wake up.

He shook his sleeping friend’s shoulder.

“Makoto, wake up,” he said in a weak voice.

Makoto’s eyes moved under his eyelids before he opened them slowly, a distant look in them. He blinked and his eyes focused on his friend’s face.

“Haru?” he mumbled.

Haru let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Something is going on,” he murmured.

He stood back up to wake the others up as Makoto looked at his surroundings.

“What…?” Makoto let out.

He heard a short yawn and turned toward the sound. Nagisa was rubbing his eyes while Rei gently wiped his own, his glasses in his hand. Nagisa’s eyes narrowed when he saw Haru.

“Huh, Haru-chan? What are you doing here..?”

His voice trailed off when he saw his surroundings.

“Where are we?” Rei asked no one in particular.

_“You guys are in Toe Labs.”_

They all jumped at the sudden voice. They looked around for speakers but all they saw was white.

_“Welcome to Toe labs, where new, important discoveries are made every year. We have brought you here as test subjects for the AMR project.”_

Rei pushed his glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose once more.

“Test subjects?” Rei repeated, his eyebrows going down in a frown.

_“Right, we will be observing you from now on.”_

The four exchanged looks.

“Shouldn’t we have to sign a contract that gives our consent to participate in this project of yours?” Rei asked, his eyes narrowed.

_“Since you guys are underage, we had your parents sign it for an appealing sum of money.”_

Nagisa inhaled sharply but quietly.

“You bribed our parents?” he exclaimed, his eyes big.

_“Excuse my choice of words earlier. It’s more like we rewarded them for signing the contract.”_

Makoto shook his head multiple times.

“They would never…” he muttered.

_“Oh, but they did. They wanted to help us. It was a good choice. They won’t see you in months but you will certainly be reunited.”_

Makoto lowered his sight to his feet, his eyes wide with disbelief. Haru looked at his best friend with concern. He wanted to say something but he had nothing helpful to say.

_“Let me present myself. I am Paul Harvey but you can just call me Paul. I am the person in charge of you all so let’s become good friends.”_

Those words sounded ridiculous to them.

_“A few more will come tomorrow. I’m sure you can guess who. You guys are always together even if you belong to different schools.”_

The last words sealed it.

“You brought Rin-chan and the others into this?” Nagisa yelled, his voice higher than when he had previously spoken.

Nagisa didn’t know what “this” was but he felt there was nothing good about it.

_“We need diversity in our test subjects, no matter how little it is. Otherwise, the results won’t be accurate.”_

Haru bit his lip.

“Stop calling us test subjects.” he said, his voice low.

The three glanced at him, surprised to hear him finally talk.

_“Oh, I apologize Haruka-san. I will remember to call you by your names from now on.”_

Haru didn’t look the least happy about that.

_“Now then, we will come and pick you up one by one to test for any problems you may have with your health. The first one will be Haruka-san.”_

Not even a single second passed before the white door opened and two large men in black uniforms walked in. Both had stun guns and batons at their belt.

_“I am warning you. If you try to fight them you will be hurt.”_

They took hold of Haru’s arms and he yanked them away before walking to the door by himself. The door closed behind one of the men without a sound. The three looked at the door with worried eyes.

_“Don’t worry, it’s a simple medical checkup. Now, wait patiently for you turn. Farewell for now.”_

With that, silence settled in the room.

Rei ran a nervous hand through his blue hair.

“What a mess we’re in,” he sighed.

Nagisa pouted.

“I already don’t like that guy.”

Makoto sat back down and wrapped his arms around his knees. His eyes were unmoving, staring at the white floor. Nagisa noticed his expression and went to sit beside him. He brought a hand to his shoulder and squeezed with his small fingers.

“Don’t worry Mako-chan, I’m sure he’s lying. Our parents would never do something like that. He must have threatened them or something,” Nagisa said, trying to comfort his friend.

Green eyes moved to look up at him before falling back down to absolute whiteness.

“How are Ren and Ran going to feel?” he let out quietly.

Nagisa looked up at Rei for help and the latter walked over to them.

“Makoto-senpai.”

Makoto’s eyes met red frames.

“They won’t have time to worry because we’re going to get out of here,” he said firmly.

Both Nagisa and Makoto looked at him without much faith.

“Did you see those big guys, Rei-chan? They’re twice my height and they’re armed. How are we supposed to get out?”

He looked at both of them with determined eyes.

“Rin-senpai and the others are coming, aren’t they? We’ll find some kind of way.”

They just stared at him. He sighed and brought his hands to his hips.

“Come on, you have to have hope in times like these, right? Don’t you guys watch any movies?”

Nagisa smiled and tapped Makoto’s back.

“That’s right! We have to be optimistic. Whatever we’ll be doing might be fun, who knows! We don’t know what AMR means after all. It could stand for Awesome Machine Rabbit or something.”

“Why rabbit?” Rei asked with a smile.

“I couldn’t think of an awesome R word!” Nagisa yelled, his arms in the air.

Makoto forced himself to smile at them.

“You’re right. Besides, I’m sure they’re safe. They’re too young for them to be taken like us.”

Rei walked over to the white door across from the one where Haru and the men left.

“How did they even bring us here?” Rei wondered as he opened the door. “I don’t remember a thing,”

The other two stood up to see what was inside. There was a bathroom, a sink, and a set of towels.

“No shower, huh?” Makoto commented.

The three looked at each other.

“We’ll be fine,” Nagisa assured the two.

They both nodded and they all sat down on the hard white floor, waiting for luck to shine down on them.


	2. The Samezuka team is here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and the others come in.

The door opened and all heads lifted in response. Haru came in, looking as bored as usual, which reassured his friends. The two men closed the door and Haru walked over to the group sitting on the floor.

“Haru, are you okay?” Makoto asked as Haru sat down.

“I hate shots,” he replied, his hands to his arms.

Rei looked visibly unpleased. Nagisa noticed immediately.

“That’s right, you don’t like shots either, Rei-chan.”

He was already rubbing his arms.

The door opened once more.

_“Makoto-san, it’s your turn.”_

Makoto gave his friends a last look before leaving the room.

This happened two more times before everyone had received the checkup.

_“You will be moved to your individual rooms tomorrow. Food will be brought to you in a minute. This will be your last good meal in a while so enjoy it to the fullest. Eat well.”_

The silence that followed his words indicated he was done talking.

“Last good meal, what does that mean?” Nagisa asked, a hand in his hair.

Rei looked up at the camera then at the door.

“I’m afraid it means we’ll have plain meals from now on,” he answered.

“Or nothing,” Haru added.

Nagisa frowned.

“We should have good food for the trouble they’re causing us. How inconsiderate,” Nagisa whined.

Makoto chuckled.

“Well, good food for four teenage guys is probably expensive. Not to mention Rin and others will be coming.”

Nagisa wrapped his hands around his elbows, his eyes on the door.

“I hope nobody gets caught. I feel like it’s going to suck being us for the next couple of days,” he sighed.

Makoto smiled at him.

“Where did the optimism go? What happened to Awesome Machine Rabbit?”

Nagisa’s magenta eyes lit up.

“Yeah, that’s right. I hope we’re going to have fun.”

“I doubt it,” Haru replied.

Nagisa’s lips protrude in a pout.

“You were supposed to agree with me,” he mumbled.

Haru shrugged in response.

After a couple of seconds, the door opened and food was brought in. Like Paul said, the meals were luxurious and appeared to have cost a significant amount of money. Everyone excluding Haru gasped in awe at the sight.

“It’s our favorite foods,” Rei commented.

“They must have asked our parents,” Makoto said absently as he picked up his chopsticks.

Nagisa and Rei looked at each other while Haru started eating his mackerel meal.

They all fell asleep as soon as they finished eating.

\---

They were woken up by cursing and yelling.

“You bastards, what’s all this?” someone yelled as they came in.

They all looked over to see an angry Rin being thrown to the floor while Nitori was set down next to him. Sousuke and Momotarou soon appeared. Rin rubbed his shoulder.

“Man, you’re carrying me around like a sack of potatoes and now you throw me like worthless luggage? The nerves. Have you guys ever learn manners before?”

He was responded by the swing to the face by a baton. Rin glared at the men who had brought them in, his sharp teeth bared. The man who had struck him held his weapon in the air to show that he would hit him again if he tried anything.

Rin opened his mouth, probably to say something insulting, but Haru was faster.

“Rin, shut up.”

He frowned and turned around before his eyes widened.

“Haru? And the others are here too…”

He turned back around to face the men.

“What the hell are you doing kidnapping teenage guys and locking them up for? Are you guys a bunch of pedophiles?”

He received another swing from the baton for his troubles.

“Will you shut up for once?” the other man yelled.

Rin rubbed at his cheek.

“Fuck you, man.”

He was about to receive yet another strike but the voice in the speakers interrupted it.

_“Now, now, let’s not hurt him too much now. We need him in top condition to start the experiment.”_

Rin frowned again.

“Huh, experiment?”

_“That’s right, you’re a test subject for our AMR project. I am Paul Harvey and I’m in charge of this project.  Your grandmother signed a contract so you could participate.”_

Rin looked genuinely confused.

_“We rewarded her with a generous amount of money. Thanks to you, your grandmother is living happily now. It applies to you three too, Sousuke-san, Aiichirou-san, Momotarou-san.”_

At some point, they had woken up and were now listening with hazy minds.

_“It’s time for your checkups. Rin-san, you’re first.”_

The men grabbed him under each arm and lifted him up.

“Huh, checkup? You’re not going to do something strange, are you?” he asked as he was led away.

_“No, no, not yet. Right now this is a normal checkup.”_

Rin was now inches away from the door.

“Not yet?” he almost shouted.

The men roughly pulled on to him and closed the door.

_“He will be sweet and obedient after the experiment, I’m sure. Oh, and I’ll repeat my warning. If you fight the men, you get hurt. Simple as that. Well then, goodbye. I will talk to you all later.”_

The three newcomers stared at the ceiling with frowns on their faces. After a couple of seconds, both Sousuke and Momotarou stood up and looked around.

“Since when have you guys been here?” Nitori asked as he crawled to them.

“We’re here since yesterday,” Makoto answered.

“We don’t really know what’s happening either,” Nagisa added.

“How troublesome,” was Sousuke’s response.

“How did this even happen?” Momotarou whined.

The three new guys examined the inside off the bathroom.

“No shower? Don’t they know basic hygiene?” Nitori said with a shaking head.

“That’s probably the point,” Sousuke replied.

Nitori frowned at him and the older boy shrugged weakly.

“We’re going to be moved into individual rooms.” Rei told them. “It will probably be better than this room.”

“Hopefully,” Nitori sighed as he sat down.

The others also sat down. They all had a grim looks on their faces.

“And I was swimming peacefully just yesterday,” Nitori trailed off.

Nagisa turned to him.

“We’ll get out of here, right Rei-chan?”

Rei nodded but he didn’t have the same faith as yesterday. Nagisa gave him a look as Sousuke entered the uneven circle the other boys had made.

“They might be listening, you know. You guys have some kind of plan?” he whispered.

Rei and Nagisa shook their head and Sousuke sighed.

“We could try to ambush them when they come for the next person,” Haru said quietly.

Everyone’s eyes turned to him and he looked up slowly.

“The bigger guys could push them down while the smaller one could try and get their weapons,” he continued.

A few nods and a few words later, they had a plan. It took a few minutes before Rin came back. He wasn’t in good condition though. He had a few newly-formed bruises on his face, neck, and arms. The fire in his eyes was as strong as ever though.

_“Sousuke-san, you’re next.”_

Sousuke slowly stood up as the men walked to him. His hands tightened into fists and a wave of movement occurred soon after.

Sousuke’s fist made contact with the man’s cheek just as Makoto tackled the other, both with the strength of large animals. Momotarou and Haru helped to keep the men down while Rin and Rei joined in. Nagisa and Nitori were already reaching for their belts but before they could grab anything, they were struck in the head, making their vison darken for a couple of seconds. They both gasped and heavily fell a few feet away. A man appeared behind Sousuke and shocked him just as the same was done to Momotarou and Makoto who were held from falling hard to the floor. Haru, Rei and Rin got struck in the face first then to the back of their heads.

All movement seized apart from hands going to heads and stun guns reaching for necks. There were currently four men in the room instead of two.

_“Have I not warned all of you? You’re only hurting yourselves. Take Sousuke-san away.”_

The original two men heavily picked him off the floor while one of the extra men had a stun gun trained on his neck. The fourth man closed the door behind them.

_“These weapons will not kill you so we will freely use them if you resist. Be good boys now. You will move to your rooms shortly.”_

With that, everyone was left to deal with their pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin is so stubborn, he gets hurt before the experiment even started, not to mention before he even entered the room. What do you guys think will happen? Leave a comment!


	3. Welcome to your rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get into their rooms.

 

****

Everyone gradually sat up, hissing and groaning. Haru, Rei and Rin were bleeding from where they were struck in the face while Nagisa and Nitori rubbed their heads. Makoto and Momotarou were holding on to where they were shocked. Momotarou hissed in pain.

“Man, I’m just a kid,” Nagisa groaned.

Rin was holding his nose with both hands now but the blood passed right though the gaps between his fingers.

“Those bastards are going to pay,” he huffed, his voice nasally.

Haru got up and gestured for Rin to follow him to the bathroom. The sound of running water was heard and Rei soon followed.

Makoto was frowning, a hand to his neck, but he stayed silent. Nagisa crawled over to him.

“You’re alright, Mako-chan?” he asked with concern in his voice.

Makoto blinked then looked up at his blond friend.

“I’m fine,” he replied, his voice low.

Everyone sat against the walls, some with their eyes closed, others with their face buried in their knees. Haru and the other two left the bathroom and also sat down. The only sound in the room was Rin’s constant sniffling.

The door opened again and four men entered. They each took one of the Iwatobi boys by the arm and forced them to get up.

Rin was glaring daggers at the men but they ignored him. The men left, leaving Rin, Nitori, and Momotarou behind.

The hallways the boys walked in were as white as the room they were previously in except for a few on their right and left that had a beige and dark red color. No cracks or variation in color could be seen on the walls. It was obvious that this building had been built recently.

The boys reached their rooms in the sea of identical metal doors.

Haru’s room had a small squared tile in the center that stood out. Around it, the floor appeared to be mobile. He was hit with a wave of cool air when he stepped in. Like the other room, there was no furniture, just a door to the left. He was pushed in and the door closed behind him. He sighed and sat down against the wall.

As for Nagisa, his room was small. The walls, floor, and even ceiling had soft tissue on it, either to keep someone from hurting themselves or to keep noise to a minimum. Nagisa tried to think positively and convinced himself that it was to be more comfortable. There were squares that stood out lining the bottom of the walls. He guessed the door on the right was the bathroom. He entered and sat down cross-legged on the soft material.

Makoto’s room was quite large and very, very bright, almost to the point of blinding him. The walls and the floor were soft but the ceiling was full of long bright lights. There was a door on the right and he already knew what it was. Before he entered the room, the man made him turn around and injected something into his nose before pushing him in the room.

Rei’s room was normal except for the moist hot air in it, like it had no ventilation. But the floor was also strange. There were metal circles scattered about the floor with what he guessed were two inches keeping them apart. The same was done to the walls. There were also small holes in them. The man went in the room with him and opened a room to the left. There was a mirror and a toilet and that was it. Rei frowned just as the man left the room.

\---

“The four are in their rooms, sir,” a man stated.

Paul nodded.

“Remember, don’t give food to all of them.”

The men in the room nodded and left.

Paul looked over at one of the multiple screens in front of him. Sousuke was laying down on a metal table, unconscious. He was been given a shot.

“We will succeed.” Paul said to himself. “You will all help humanity in the end so forgive us for doing this.”

He turned around and walked out of the room.

\---

Forty minutes passed and the rest of the boys were led to their rooms.

Rin’s room was dimly lit and very cold. In the middle of the room was what seemed to be a treadmill. Around it was a floor that seemed to be able to fold in on itself. The distance between the extremities of the treadmill and the walls was greater than his height by a meter on every side, making it a large room. Rin was roughly thrown in there and he fell to the floor, near the bathroom door. He glared at the now closed door.

As soon as he saw his room, Nitori felt uneasy. It was small and there was some kind of spinning ball with light bulbs on the ceiling, like a disco ball. The light was a strange sickly green and it was whirling around the room. There was another light but it was dim. The door on the left had a large mirror on it. Nitori was lightly pushed in his room as he looked at it.

Different light bulbs and a wall-mounted clock made Sousuke’s room distinct from the others. Apart from that, it was a normal room with a padded floor and padded walls. There was a visible air vent in the ceiling and Sousuke thought nothing good of it. The door on the right was also padded. Sousuke looked back at the man escorting him, gave him a look, and entered the room without assistance.

The first thing Momotarou noticed in the dim room was the TV on the corner. Above it was one of the many cameras in the room. A few feet away on the floor were chains and shackles connected to the walls. Momotarou gasped and backed away but was pushed in anyways. He landed just a few feet from the shackles, right beside a white door.

\---

“Now that everyone is in their rooms, go make your preparations. We’re starting everything tomorrow,” Paul told to his men.

“Yes, sir.”

They all left and Paul sat on his chair, looking at the multitude of screens. Everyone was sitting down except for Rin who was pacing around the room.

“Project AMR, starting in 12 hours.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone thinking "they're going to go through so much shit"? That's exactly what will happen.


	4. (Stage 1) Good morning boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is introduced to their "trial".

**Project AMR start. Stage 1**

Everyone had fallen asleep through their hunger. During that time, collars were wrapped around their necks. An alarm sounded, making them jump awake.

_“Good morning boys, we will now begin the experiment. We hope you will be obedient. We will use any means necessary to punish you if we must. That is why we put those collars on you.”_

None of them had noticed the collar until he had mentioned it. They pulled on foreign object but it was tightly secured around their necks.

_“Those collars are remote controlled. They will shock you if you fight us or don’t follow orders. I am warning you.”_

Everyone tensed up as the door to their room opened without warning. Different men dressed in white entered each room.

_“These people are responsible of you. You will see them quite a lot so I suggest being on good terms with them. This applies especially to you, Rin-san.”_

Rin scowled and glared at the man in front of him.

_“Without further ado, men get to work.”_

\---

Haru stood when the man in his room made his way toward him. He wasn’t able to yank away his hand this time when he was seized by the arm and hauled to the center of the room where the strange squared tile was.

“Move and I’m shocking you,” the man warned him.

He held up the remote to put emphasis on his words. He walked out of the room and Haru shifted his weight to be more comfortable.

In an instant, the floor around him started moving, making him panic. It backed away into thin rectangular holes in the walls. He was standing on the single square. Looking beneath his feet made him feel uneasy. Under the floor was water and below it was complete darkness despite the relatively bright light.

_How deep is this?_

The lights dimmed, making the water look even darker and deeper.

_“We know you love water so we surrounded you in it. Are you happy? The problem is, this water is freezing cold and I assure you, it is not pleasant. If you don’t want to fall, I suggest you stay awake and maintain a reasonable amount of stamina. You haven’t eaten but I’m certain you will be fine. If you try to sit on the square and even when you fall in the water, you will be shocked. Have fun, Haruka-san.”_

Haru looked up at nothing in particular.

“Bathroom?” He asked.

_“We can’t let you cheat, now can we?”_

Silence fell in his room.

He frowned at the water below him and grabbed his collar.

\---

The man in Nagisa’s room was twice as big as him, making him nervous. The man approached him before picking him up without effort. Feeling the imminent danger, he kneed his chest and pounded his back with his fists. To his dismay, it made no difference. Another man, dressed in black, came in with what Nagisa could only think was a human-shaped coffin made of metal. The metal was cut in strips so there were three inches between the metal strips. The coffin was designed in a manner that allowed the person to sit.

It was Nagisa’s exact size. He looked at it with wide eyes.

“What is that?” he asked as it was set on the floor and opened.

_“This is a device created to keep you from moving. You might not like it since you enjoy moving around but do bear with it.”_

He was shoved into the device and had the top closed on top of him before he could even protest. He felt the hard metal press on his ribcage and crush his lungs. He quietly gasped for air. It was tight which made it difficult to take breathe properly.

_“You will get used to having your breathing reduced in a few days so don’t worry.”_

He was picked up again and set against the wall and then secured to the wall so he couldn’t tip himself over. Nagisa started to panic as the man in front of him started to leave. Racing thoughts invaded his mind as he thought of the coming days.

“You’re not leaving me like this, are you?” he yelled, alarm in his voice.

No one answered. The man in black had something else in his hand. It was some kind of gag that prevented him from moving his mouth. He had tried to fight its installation but the men’s hands were strong. With that, the men left.

Nagisa couldn’t move a muscle except for his eyes. The worst was his hands and toes. He was used to moving his toes around in his shoes and playing with his fingers. Now, he couldn’t move them at all. All he could do was swallow and blink. Just knowing he was probably going to stay like this for long terrorized him. He couldn’t think of any way he would manage to live this.

_“You won’t starve so don’t worry. You’ll be swallowing liquids from now on. There’s medicine in them so your muscles won’t deteriorate. Oh, and you’ll have to relieve yourself on the spot. We’ll clean you every week but of course you’ll be paralyzed. Talk to you another time. Ah, well I guess I’ll be doing the talking.”_

Paul chuckled.

_“Goodbye.”_

Nagisa closed his eyes.

_I won’t last long like this._

\---

Makoto seemed to have it easier. The only change was that a song started playing. Makoto didn’t know it but he didn’t particularly dislike it.

_Why are they playing music though?_

That was when he felt his collar heating up. He gasped when he felt several electric shocks travel from his neck to his back. They made their way down to his chest and legs, swimming through his body. They came in a constant rhythm, but they were hard to prepare for despite knowing when they would arrive. They finally stopped coming but his relief was soon replaced by a feeling of nausea and soreness. Painful headaches soon followed. He brought his hands to his head.

_“Sorry Makoto-san but you’ll have to deal with this for a while.”_

The man that was watching until now set a notebook, a pen, and a pile of papers down.

_“I want you to complete these math problems. It has to be in order too. We want all 500 problems to be completed and you have five days, today included, to do this. If you aren’t finished by that time or you purposely wrote down random numbers, you will be punished.”_

Makoto swallowed and let go of his head.

_500 questions in five days? Can someone like me even do that? I’m not even good in math._

“No calculator? And why not Rei?” he asked, his eyes looking at a random spot on the ceiling.

_“Rei-san is above average. We want someone who has average grades without being below the norm. You were the best person. As for the calculator, it would be too easy. This is grade 8 so it shouldn’t be too hard.”_

Makoto thought of things like roots and long equations and immediately felt like he was going to fail.

_“Well then, enjoy yourself.”_

The man left just as his stomach growled. He shook his head and chewed on his finger.

_This is crazy._

\---

Rei didn’t like the man one bit. He _felt_ that he was mean, he just did.

The man moved and Rei glanced at him. That was when a sudden shock went through his feet and he jumped out of surprise, nearly falling. He caught himself on the wall but another shock send a sharp pain through his hands, making his hand move away by itself.

_“The circles will shock you at random intervals throughout the day. Quinn here will come visit you every three days and that’s also when you’ll eat. I’m warning you now, you won’t enjoy those visits.”_

Rei stared at the man who stared right back.

_“You won’t shower for a while. A long while. You will be given a change of clothes every week though and you can brush your teeth every day. That is all.”_

The man left and Rei just stood there and looked down at himself. He was sweating since yesterday and it was plain uncomfortable. The room seemed to have gotten hotter and it felt like it had even less air than yesterday.

He was in a situation he couldn’t control and he had to act rationally but most of all, he had to deal with it.

He swallowed and sat down before releasing a long breath and closing his eyes.

\---

Rin was glaring at the man in his room. The man started moving and seized Rin’s arms. The only thing keeping Rin from truly hurting the man was the man’s robust white clothes. Rin was shoved on the treadmill, nearly tripping.

_“Stay there, Rin-san. If you move, you will be shocked.”_

The man left the room just as the floor started to fold on itself until Rin could see water. It wasn’t deep but the vapor coming from it was intimidating enough.

_Is it really boiling hot?_

Rin was sure the people here were trying to broil him alive.

_“I want you to run on that treadmill without stopping all day, every day. If you get tired and stop running, you’ll fall in the boiling water. If you try to cheat your way through this, you will be punished. You will only get a break if you fall, during meals, or if you are in need of a bathroom break. About the bathroom break, it’s only when you really need to go. I won’t allow you to call for one for the smallest of urges.”_

Rin gritted his teeth.

“Whoa, whoa, how the hell will I be able to do this? Don’t you think that’s a bit cruel?” he asked, his eyes on the water.

_“Oh, you’ll be fine. You’ll be jogging, not running, so don’t worry.”_

Rin just shook his head.

“Sadistic bastard,” he spat.

Paul’s silence made Rin look up.

_“Don’t fall in Rin-san.”_

Rin jumped with a gasp when the treadmill started moving. He nearly fell from the start. He began to move his legs since it was the only thing he could do.

_They’re definitely going to pay, those bastards._

\---

Nitori was given plain white food. It was difficult to eat with the spinning light and the strange smell in the room. He was getting nauseous and dizzy with all sorts of aches. The smell didn’t come from the food, that he was sure.

_Are they poisoning me with gas or something? Or maybe even the food without it being obvious?_

Nitori glanced at the man who was watching him eat.

“Are the others eating?” he asked him.

The man merely looked at him.

_“You’re smart, Aiichirou-san. Don’t worry though. We put medicine in your food because we saw that you had a little problem in your blood. It’s nothing serious but I don’t want it to be in a few weeks. We need you alive. There are side effects to the medicine but they’ll only last a few weeks at most. Enjoy you meal, Aiichirou-san.”_

The man finally left and Nitori eyed his food.

_Either I eat or I starve to death._

Nitori continued to eat his food.

\---

Sousuke was having a stare down with the man in his room. Neither of them was backing down.

_“It seems you two have already become friends.”_

Sousuke snorted in response.

_“You will be released in forty-two days. In the meantime, we will torment you. You will also be constantly shocked. You’re strong, aren’t you, Sousuke-san?”_

Sousuke frowned in response.

_“You have nothing to do, just sleep and eat until you’re released.”_

Sousuke’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t mess with me. You’re going to do something to me, aren’t you?” he spat.

_“I said it, you will be tormented. That is all. I have Momotarou to talk to.”_

The man gave Sousuke a last look before leaving.

Sousuke let out a harsh sigh and sat back down.

_What the hell does he mean by torment? This will not be a good week._

\---

Momotarou was the farthest away possible from the man. Those shackles didn’t look good. The man was much more powerful than him and easily pushed down on his shoulders and made him kneel beside the shackles. After a bit of struggling, the shackles were around Momotarou’s wrists and ankles. The length of the chains made him unable to move away from the television.

_“Sorry for the rough treatment, Momotarou-san, but I’m afraid you won’t watch the TV if we don’t do this. You will be watching horror movies and a few other interesting things. I hope you’re not easily scared, Momotarou-san.”_

There was obvious worry on his face.

_“If you need to use the bathroom, tell us. We will know if you’re lying or not and of course you’ll be punished if you are. You will also be punished if you close your eyes or look away. Enjoy your films, Momotarou-san.”_

The TV turned on and Momotarou jumped with a little gasp. He turned just in time to see the man leave.

_Oh my God, what will they make me watch?_

He took in a deep breath.

_I’ll be fine. Yeah, I’ll be fine._

\---

Paul watched the screens intently.

“Now, how will your mind deal with this, boys?”

He sipped on his coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone asking the same question as Paul?


	5. Haru & Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See what's going on with Haru and Nagisa.

Haru had been standing here for hours. The entire day to be exact. He was not only tired and starving but he was now wet from the waist down. The room was so cold that he was shivering in his urine-soaked pants. He cared less about his soaked trousers and more about his growling stomach. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday. It felt like his stomach was consuming itself. It was unbearable after half an hour.

_Will they let me starve until I fall?_

He looked at the water below.

_It shouldn’t be too bad, right? Maybe they’ll let me eat if I fall._

He crouched down carefully, his legs shaking all the while. He tightly grasped the edge of the square and reached down to touch the water. He gasped when an electric shot and then the freezing cold made their way up his hand.

Had he moved even an inch more while he was shocked, he would have lost his balance and fallen off the square. Haru let out a quiet sigh of relief. It took a couple of seconds until he could attempt to uncurl his fingers.

_“What are you doing, Haruka-san?”_

Haru didn’t answer. He just slowly stood up again, his thighs burning and trembling from the continuous strain. He stooped down and gripped his damp pants. The balls of his feet ached and his ankle radiated pain all the way up to his knees.

_“Tired are we? I won’t let you take a break just yet. You must also be hungry. If you hold out a bit longer, I might let you eat.”_

Haru swallowed the saliva that had started to fill his mouth.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice quiet.

Silence followed his question. He finally heard the speaker come back to life.

_“You will know in due time.”_

No other word was exchanged after that.

The shock seemed to have made him even more tired. His eyelids weighed a ton each and his legs were quivering relentlessly. He tapped his face lightly and stared ahead at the door, hoping that someone would enter and tell him that he was done.

Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. After another hour, Haru’s legs were shaking so violently that the platform he stood on also shook. His back was in pain from staying balanced for so long and his stomach was growling over and over again like it was screaming at him to take care of it. He breathed in and out before shifting his weight lightly despite the pain that resulted from it.

He looked up as if he could see the camera but of course he couldn’t. He wanted to know where it was but he had no idea. The speakers themselves were impossible to pinpoint. It sounded like the voice came from the ceiling but he couldn’t even find their approximate location.

“Don’t you think that’s enough?” he dared to say.

The reply came immediately.

_“That is not for you to decide, Haruka-san.”_

Haru’s features fell even more and he let out a frustrated sigh though his nose.

It was tempting to touch the water again just to wake himself up a bit and perhaps to regain some kind of strength to his body. However, the memory of what happened earlier stopped the thought short.

_How long will this last?_

Thirty minutes later, he could barely think straight anymore. Every time his eyes closed, it took him all his willpower to force them open again. The shaking in his legs had subsided like they had given up. He started wondering what was happening to his legs when the shaking suddenly stopped altogether and he felt himself falling. In an instant, he recovered the use of his mental faculties. He tried his best to regain his balance but the battle was lost as soon as it had started.

His back hit the water first and a fire formed in the center of his back and traveled outward before ice went and extinguished it. His head was under the water in an instant. He could vaguely hear his own muffled scream as his body was submerged in pain. His eyes slowly opened and he watched bubbles rise to the surface.

He couldn’t swim though, his muscles refused to obey. After what felt like an entire minute but was most likely a few seconds, his vision failed him. He wasn’t even certain his eyes were open anymore. He was just choking on the water that started filling his lungs.

_I’m going to drown. Again…_

His consciousness was slipping away rapidly. He stopped feeling the pain and the cold was a distant feeling now. Somewhere, in a part of him that was still conscious, he felt something wrap itself around his waist and pull him up. He choked as soon as he felt the cool air of his room smack him in the face.

Everything was burning and aching, especially his lungs. Water rapidly left his mouth, nose and ears. He soon realized salty tears were streming down his face.

_“I thought you would have lasted longer, Haruka-san.”_

Haru gasped for air, taking a big breath that sent him into a debilitating coughing fit. An endless moment later, he was painting from the effort his body had exerted and the pain was gradually vanishing. He forced his eyes open and looked up. As expected, the person who had rescued him was the man assigned to him. He was almost thankful for his presence but then remembered he was the one who had threatened to shock him earlier today.

_“Water sure can hurt when it wishes to, right Haruka-san? It’s unfortunate that you couldn’t swim out of it.”_

Haru pushed himself up with quivering arms and swept the dripping hair out of his face. He roughly wiped his mouth and burning nose with his driping sleeve. Having to push all that water out of him made his stomach hurt even more. Every part of him shivered uncontrollably because of the cold chewing at his bones. His foggy mind made the agony seem so distant yet he could still feel it deep in his muscles.

_“You don’t deserve to eat since you didn’t last as long as I expected. I will allow water, however.”_

Haru was handed a water bottle and he grimaced. Just looking at it made him nauseous. He had had enough water for the day. Haru noticed the faintest of smiles on the man’s lips.

_“Come on, make him drink it.”_

Haru had begun to move away before Paul finished his sentence but he was pinned down on the wall before he could make any sort of progress. The bottle was shoved in his mouth, forcing the water down his throat. This water was just as cold as the water he fell in, making him gag.

_I’m tired of choking._

He pushed the bottle with his remaining strength and took deep breaths as the water dribbled down the sides of his mouth and chin. The man didn’t try to force the bottle back into his mouth. Instead, he sealed it and placed it beside Haru.

_“Maybe you will be given food tomorrow. That depends on you. Goodnight.”_

Haru looked up then back down. He observed the room. The floor was now like he first saw it except for the puddle under him and at his side. He forced himself to stand up and made his way to the bathroom for a hot shower. He wasn’t sure there was hot water but he kept his hopes up. He had to feel the pleasant sensation of water like he used to or his feelings would start to change.

\---

Nagisa wished he was some kind of superhero with super strength so he could break free from this metal coffin. He wasn’t a superhero though. He was just a weak teenage boy called Nagisa and that was it.

Everything ached, particularly his jaw, knees, and back. He was uncontrollably itchy but of course, he couldn’t do anything about it. He kept telling himself it was in his mind but it was useless. He was desperate for the use of his hands. Not only that, his pants were uncomfortably wet and warm. His feet were resting on soft tissue soaked in his own urine and he found it unpleasant to say the least.

_How long has it even been? A day? Two?_

He was disoriented. The only thing he could think of today was to move, move, and move.

_“How are you feeling, Nagisa-san? Are you in discomfort? You still have a few weeks to go.”_

Nagisa whimpered in response. Paul ignored him.

_“Does it still hurt to breathe? You should be used to it by now though it will never cease to be unpleasant.”_

Nagisa groaned.

_Very unpleasant._

_“It’s nighttime so you should get some sleep. You will be fed tomorrow so bear with it for a few more hours. Goodnight.”_

Food had been the last thing on Nagisa’s mind today but he _was_ hungry.

Nagisa tried to sleep, he really did, but it was useless. He counted sheeps, thought of his comfortable bed at home and even tried to empty his thoughts completely but it was wasted effort. He stayed up for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, poor Haru!


	6. Makoto & Rei & Rin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Makoto's, Rei's, and Rin's turn.

Makoto was getting sick of everything. The song, the headaches, the electric shocks, the math problems,  _especially_ the math problems, and his growling stomach. He wished he could just close his eyes and find himself in his room, his twin siblings’ laughter audible through the door. The more he thought about his room, the more he wondered how he ever got into this situation.

His fingers didn't move right and his brain felt as numb and empty as his stomach. He had gotten farther than he ever would have if there wasn’t such an important consequence in the end but it didn’t seem to be enough. He wasn’t even past the hundredth problem but he was so drowsy that he couldn’t even see the numbers clearly anymore.

He wished he knew the time right now. Was it nighttime yet? How long had he been working?

He looked up at the bright ceiling with heavy eyelids.

_That Paul guy answered Rei last time so he’ll answer me too, right?_

"Can I know the time?” he asked hesitantly, his voice slow and low.

The answer was immediate.

_“I’m afraid you can’t. Just do your best.”_

Makoto found himself biting his lip like he frequently did when in a difficult situation.

_I tried at least._

“And food? Will I be able to eat?” he added after a growl reminded him of his hunger.

Makoto went from biting his lip to chewing it nervously in the following silence. Paul finally hummed after a moment.

_“You will be given food when you reach the hundredth problem. How about it?”_

Makoto knew he had no say in the matter and just nodded since he knew he was being watched.

_“Then work hard from now on.”_

Hunger won over sleep. The brief conversation with Paul had woken him up just a little. He continued his work, the same song on repeat and a headache weighing heavily down on him as his stomach screamed.

\---

Rei decided that a day passed and was torn between being happy that the “visits” didn’t start today and not being able to eat. He was given water to drink and brush his teeth with but his stomach was soon protesting at the lack of food in it. He sighed loudly and carefully lied down, praying to all the deities he knew that the circles against his skin wouldn’t shock him.

He had being shocked in several instances today and it was impossible not to jump in surprise and pain every single time. It was so sudden and he couldn’t possibly know which circle would be the one attacking him for that fraction of a second. He was constantly expecting one to shock him at any second and any time. The apprehension was tiring him down mentally.

He also had started to smell through his wet clothes. He hated his room. The air was sultry and he heavy. The heat made it difficult to breathe properly which made his head spin. At times, the heat went as far as making him feel nauseous, a feeling he despised. He wanted nothing more then a shower right now but there was no sink, much less a bath, in the bathroom. What was that mirror even there for?

He ignored his hunger and smell and closed his eyes. In a few minutes, he was falling asleep, his body weary from heat and hunger, but burning pain in his cheek made him gasp and sit up. He received another shock to his foot and he hissed in pain.

“How troublesome,” he muttered, the tip of his index finger lifting his glasses.

_“Is it now?”_

Rei looked up at the sound of the voice.

_“You’re better off than a few of your friends. Haruka-san was in extreme pain just a few minutes ago.”_

Rei straightened up, his eyes unwaveringly looking at the ceiling.

“What did you do to Haruka-senpai?”

His voice was almost threatening.

_“Oh, nothing serious. He’s alive and well, don’t worry. We’re not here to kill you.”_

Somehow, those last words made Rei shiver despite the heat in his room. They just sounded ominous to him.

_“It seems like you won’t be sleeping for a while. I’m sure you’d like for me to stop the shocks.”_

Rei said nothing and remained still.

_“You’ll find a way to sleep, I know it. Goodnight, Rei-san.”_

Rei glared at the ceiling before curling up in the center of the room so his back didn’t touch any wall. He removed his glasses and buried his face in his knees. Getting a break from the bright lightning of his room soothed his eyes. The feeling of ease and relief soon travelled to the entirety of his body. His drowsiness was steadily coming back.

_I’m sleeping no matter what._

And he soon did.

\---

Rin wanted to faint right here and there. His muscles were burning with exertion because he was jogging so much. In the cold air, every breath felt like a scorching knife was cutting into his chest. His nasal cavities were on fire and so was his throat but the worst was his lungs. Breathing made him want to vomit but he swallowed and kept the last meal he ate in. His last meal dated back to yesterday. He had never imagined he would be in a situation where food was scarcely given to him.

His thighs were burning but his calves were the kings of agony. He had tried to stop running by setting his feet on the sides of the treadmill but he was shocked immediately and mercilessly. Both times he tried it, he almost fell in the boiling hot water. He didn’t have the courage to try a third time. He didn’t understand how the air could be so chilly with searing water below. 

He didn’t want to admit it but he was absolutely terrified of the sizzling water surrounding him. All he could think of was of a lobster thrown into a pot which made his stomach growl and his mind confused at the same time. The state his body was in reflected the miserable condition his mind was in.

He didn’t know how long he had been running for; he had lost count at the second hour. All he was certain of was that his body was at its limit. He could barely get in enough air to feed his exhausted muscles. He had taken a single break to eat half a bowl of rice and go to the bathroom and that was it.

“You bastards,” he gasped. “Are fucking crazy!”

_“We are.”_

Rin’s eyes were filled with tears at this point. The only thing keeping him from crumpling to the floor was the thought of the pitiful lobster. He imagined his complexion slowly turning as red as the crustacean as the water ate away at his skin. He almost laughed at the ridiculous imagery.

_Hunger is making me go crazy._

At some point, his foot abandoned him and he nearly tripped into a world of pain. The railings saved him and he pulled himself up with his arms’ remaining strength.

He was so wet he was starting to wonder if he was wetter now or when he was in a pool. He let out a breathy laugh before he could stop himself.

_“Oh, are you enjoying yourself?”_

Rin snorted.

“Of course… not, you bastard…” he replied breathlessly. “You… I’m becoming a lunatic!”

_“That is our goal.”_

Rin blinked in surprise and frowned.

“What?”

_“You’re not stopping anytime soon, Rin-san.”_

Rin swallowed and continued jogging despite the fact that his legs felt like lead and that every movement he made was out of sheer willpower.

After twenty minutes, that fact was very important. Willpower was slowly becoming insufficient to fuel his leaden legs. His eyes were blurry from both sweat and tears and his body was shaking with so much force he thought he would lose his balance any second now.

He was right. After three seconds, his legs exploded in heat and pain and he fell down with a gasp. The treadmill was moving too rapidly for Rin to be able to catch the railings again. He tumbled down into the water.

Rin could almost swear he heard sizzling when his body made contact with the scorching water. The only sound Rin’s sore throat could muster was a choked cry as the water scalded his skin and his head was submerged.

_Am I really going out like a fucking lobster? How pathetic is that?_

He was rendered unable to think in a second. He could barely sense his collar heating up. The electricity mercilessly burned his insides and he lost consciousness.

When he came to, he was on solid ground though it was wet with warm water. He barely remembered coughing like crazy a few seconds earlier. His skin was radiating pain and heat like a heater but the cold air made it somewhat bearable. He opened his eyes and saw the guy he was glaring at earlier today.

_“You both failed to meet my expectations. I have to say I’m disappointed.”_

Rin had no idea what he was talking about but he was in too much pain and too exhausted to care.

Something cold was put against his forehead and he rolled his eyes into its sockets to look at it. It was some kind of container.

_“Apply this on your skin and shower afterward. It will ease the burning.”_

Rin sat up with difficulty and grabbed the container.

_“Since you disappointed me, you’re getting no more food until tomorrow.”_

Rin only had the energy to frown as the man got up to leave. He looked down at himself. His skin was a shade of red he had never seen before but he knew he hadn’t been burned deeply. The water had felt boiling-hot but it was just hotter than would be desirable.

He pushed himself up, his breathing loud enough to alarm him. He crumpled to the ground instantly with a wheeze. He had to crawl to the bathroom to even reach it.

_Man, fuck these bastards._


	7. Nitori & Sousuke & Momotarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's happening to Nitori, Sousuke and Momotarou.

Nitori had never felt so disoriented and plain bad in his whole life. He was now laying on the floor, having puked twice in the past hours. The green spinning lights were making his body a mess. Nitori didn’t know what was causing this, maybe motion sickness, but those lights were just doing nothing good to his body.

He was also seeing shadows on the walls and even ceiling. It took all his willpower not to panic every time he saw something black move. He closed his eyes multiple times but they always opened right back up like his body refused to get away from this strange reality.

Whenever he tried to sit up, he was hit by a wave of nausea and he lied right back down. A moment came when he started falling asleep but a sudden red silhouette the shape of a large man appeared in his half-closed eyes and fully woke him up with a jolt. He brought trembling hands to his face.

_I’ve been drugged and now I’m going crazy!_

The same happened once more, the silhouette different that time, and he gave up on sleeping.

_I won’t be sleeping as long this thing is in my system._

He almost regretted eating for his survival.

He looked up at the spinning ball and wished for it to fall and crash on the floor. He would feel much better if that light could just vanish. Sudenly, the ball spun out of control and fell to the floor, shattering in large jagged pieces. Nitori gasped, his eyes wide with disbelief. He unsteadily walked to it and attempted to touch it. His hand passed through air and he realized there was nothing there.

He backed away, his shaking hand grabbing at his shirt. He turned around and saw the long mirror on the bathroom door. He went over and kneeled in front of it. He grabbed the sides of the mirror and stared at himself. He looked the same except for the weird rash on his cheek. He even felt it itch. He scratched at it but he felt nothing. He blinked again and the rash was gone.

His entire body was shaking now. He didn’t know what was happening to him and it scared him. He looked at the beauty mark under his eye. Was that even real? He was relieved to find it very real. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out.

“What did you put in that food?” he asked, not certain he would be answered.

_“I told you, it’s medicine.”_

Nitori shook his head, his canines digging into his bottom lip.

“Those are obviously drugs!” he yelled.

He heard Paul chuckle.

_“If you say so.”_

Nitori shook his head again.

_You’ll be fine, just don’t eat too much of that food. It won’t even affect you anymore._

He turned around, his back to the mirror, and tried to sleep, his hands over his eyes and his face hidden by his knees.

He succeeded somewhat after what felt like hours.

\---

Sousuke forced himself to close his eyes.

_Whoever is controlling those lights, the music, and the ventilation is doing a godawful job at it._

The lights kept changing color, strength, and rhythm. Sometimes they were turned off completely before being turned back on later. Sousuke couldn’t keep up with them or see a pattern in the changes. It was the same situation with the music and smells.  The music kept changing volume, speed, and even genre while the smells went from pleasant to vomit-inducing. All of this was frustrating and driving him insane.

At one point, he couldn’t take it anymore. He was aware that they were doing it on purpose but he didn’t care.

“Pick a damn song already!” he shouted at the ceiling.

He heard a chuckle.

_“You don’t like our choice of music, Sousuke-san?”_

The voice was so full of mockery that he didn’t even know how to answer. He exhaled loudly through his nostrils.

“What are you trying to do? Knock it off," he huffed.

_“Don’t think about it. I have a little something to tell you before you go to sleep.”_

Sousuke didn’t even want to hear it but he couldn’t just ask his ears to stop working and he was absolutely certain he would be shocked if he covered them with his hands.

_“Rin-san has just experienced second-degree burns and passed out. Be happy you didn’t have to experience that. I’m sure he would rather be in your place.”_

Sousuke stared at the ceiling.

_Second-degree burns? What the hell?_

_“You won’t be given food so just go to sleep. Goodnight.”_

Despite not liking that Paul guy very much, he listened to him and tried to go to sleep since his stomach was killing him.

After a few minutes, sleep came, seconds from taking him away but he was forced awake by a strong shock. He gasped and quickly moved to the side.

_“Sorry, Sousuke-san. I don’t really want you to sleep after all.”_

Sousuke didn’t question it since he knew this was all part of some kind of organized plan. He just stared angrily at the ceiling and dealt with Paul’s mocking words and shocks.

\---

Momotarou couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes were watery, on the verge of spilling its contents. He had seen so many appaling horror movies that he was shaking from it. He had seen so many realistic deaths that he expected them to be snuff films.

_And what if they are? Did I watch people die for real?_

His breathing became loud and quick in his panic. He even saw a documentary about cannibals. He couldn’t bear to watch them eat a woman and closed his eyes but the sheer strength of the shock he received made his eyes fly open in an instant. He managed not to vomit but his stomach was feeling queasy and empty.

He wanted the shackles off but he already used his chance with a bathroom break. He didn’t even know if he was going to sleep. Right now, he was shaking and high on adrenaline but he knew he would be exhausted after it wore off.

“H-hey," he lets out shakily. “Won’t I get to sleep?”

_“Do you want to?”_

The question sounded silly to him but he thought about the reasons behind his agitated state and it made the question not so silly anymore. He was unable to answer Paul’s question.

_“Next movie then.”_

The chains of his shackles clanked as he sat up in panic.

“Ah, wait! I’ll go to sleep, I’m tired so…” he hurried to say.

He heard Paul hum.

_“And why should we listen to you?”_

Momotarou couldn’t think of a single good reason and resorted to pleading.

“Please, I just need a break!” he begged his eyes wide and pleading.

The TV suddenly turned off and Momotarou jumped at the sudden action, his breathing much faster than before. A dim light turned on above him and he yelped when he noticed the man behind him. He forced himself to calm down when he saw the key in the man’s hand. He was shaking with so much force that the man had to grab his wrists in an iron grip to get the key into the keyhole. He left as Momotarou rubbed his wrist and ankles.

He inhaled sharply when he heard Paul speak.

“Goodnight, Momotarou-san.”

The sweet voice sounded so fake and unnatural that Momotarou was disgusted by it. He went and lied down in a corner, still shaking but better now. Until he saw the shadows anyways. The TV, the shackles, the multiple cameras, and the dim light combined to make terrifying shadows. He didn’t know if this lightning was better than darkness.

He closed his eyes and curled up, shaking violently as he saw strange things on his closed eyelids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are Nitori's and Sousuke's trials tame compared to the others? Tell me what you think!


	8. Haru & Nagisa & Makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, poor Haru.

The door opened to Haru’s room. He was sleeping despite his gnawing hunger and his shivering body. The man came in with two buckets, a rag, and a long metal table. The table was set in the center of the room and the man walked over to Haru who was laying down on the side of the room, his arms wrapped around his body and his legs up to his chest. He lifted one of the buckets and emptied its contents on Haru. Haru gasped when hot water landed on his face.

He sat up quickly and brought his hands to his face, rubbing at his stinging skin. Someone grabbed his bicep and pulled him up in his confusion. Haru blinked a few times and removed his hands from his face. The man was pulling him toward a metal table. The only thing he could think of was those torture scenes in movies and his breathing picked up. He couldn’t help but back away.

Of course, he was yanked forward but he struggled even more when he saw the leather straps.

“What are you planning to do to?" he asked, his voice shaky.

_“Don’t struggle, Haruka-san. You’ll only hurt yourself more.”_

_More?_

His words made him panic even more and he kicked at the man and tried to shove him away. That was the only thing he could do to change his fate. He cried out when he was hit in the back of th head.

The hit he received was so strong and precise that it made his vision darken for a second. He fell to the side but was soon caught by the man and pushed onto the cold table. Only after the leather straps were tied around his wrists and ankles did he regain his strength.

He pulled on them experimentally but of course, they were very robust. He didn’t even try to rip them apart. He knew he didn’t have the strength and he didn’t want to hurt something. He noticed that the table wasn’t horizontal. His head was lower than his feet, making him uncomfortable. A sort of cloth was wrapped around his face and he frowned under it.

_“You can start Dave.”_

Haru swallowed.

_Start what?_

His question was soon answered when cold water was poured on his face.

_What?_

The water entered his nose and mouth and some even entered his throat but never went any farther. He tried to breathe but it resulted in choking. He coughed and gagged on the water but it refused to leave his throat as more water was poured on him. He could feel the strain in his lungs and started worrying they were seriously killing him.

_I can’t breathe, I’m going to die!_

He was vaguely aware that his wrists and ankles were burning from all the struggling he was doing against the leather straps. He tried to speak but all came out were gurgles. He barely heard the speakers though his panic.

_“It’s unpleasant, isn’t it, Haruka-san?”_

Just like yesterday, his consciousness was slipping away. The burning in his nose and lungs were getting less and less painful and his head felt lighter as the seconds passed. He could barely feel his body anymore.

_I’m going to die. They’re going to let me die…_

Just as he thought this, the cloth was taken off his face and his head was yanked to the side. Water left his mouth and nose as he coughed, nearly vomiting from the effort. He couldn’t see anything through his blurred vision but he felt the leather straps being untied.

He was pushed off the table and the impact caused by his back hitting the floor helped the water leave him completely. Water dribbled down the sides of his mouth as he took in large breaths with his mouth. His nose burned too much to breathe from it. He grabbed his chest as the pain in his lungs slowly subsided.

_They’re going to kill me for real one day. This is just the start._

The metal table was taken away and Haru was left hungry, tired, and feeling sick.

\---

Nagisa managed to sleep at the last moment but only for a couple of hours.

He was woken up by the man in white from yesterday. He had some sort of plastic container with a long plastic tube in his hands. Nagisa looked at it warily.

_“You will be fed with this from now on. Try to get used to it.”_

He kept his eyes on the man as he reached into his pocket and took out a syringe. Nagisa’s eyes widened but of course he couldn’t move away from it. He winced when the needle was inserted in the side of his throat. After a few seconds, he could feel his throat go numb. It was a strange and unpleasant feeling to not be able to swallow and feel his throat.

The man removed the gag and a trail of saliva followed. Nagisa had been moving his tongue as much as possible since it was one of the few parts of his body he could still move. The man replaced it with the tube. It was carefully pushed into his throat and he gagged though weakly. It was big and he was gagging but it went down his throat easily.

He could barely feel the plastic evading his mouth. He could only truly feel it with his tongue and the roof of his mouth. It slid along the walls of his throat but he felt almost nothing. He realized he still couldn’t move his mouth because of the container. He inhaled as much air as possible through his nose and soon exhaled to relax himself as much as possible.

The man looked at him in the eyes as if to warn him before he lifted the container. After a second, a somewhat warm liquid fell down the rest of esophagus. He couldn’t even taste or smell it. It could be water for all he knew. He didn’t even have to swallow, it went down by itself.

_This isn’t how people eat things. This is not the normal way to eat. It’s just not._

The tube was removed slowly but he still coughed when it was out. Of course, the gag was back between his dry lips. The man got up and left without a word, leaving Nagisa with a numb throat.

After a few minutes, the numbness was replaced with soreness. He kept swallowing but it did nothing to ease the ache. He tried his best not to think about it. He was determined to ignore the feeling since he could do nothing about it.

He was in pain and he still couldn’t move. He was getting tear-inducing cramps and he had wet himself yet again before the man came.

He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed that the man saw him like this but he was. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath through his nostrils.

_Make it end, please._

\---

Against sleep, hunger, fatigue, pain and even that annoying song, and fueled by that same hunger, Makoto finished the hundredth problem. He had gotten stuck in a few but solved them anyways. He felt accomplished despite not knowing the reason why they were making him do this.

He let go of the pencil and held up the paper to show he was done.

_“You’ve earn your meal, Makoto-san.”_

Not a minute passed before the man assigned to him came with food. Everything was white, plain, and small. Makoto wasn’t particularly surprised by that. What surprised him was that he couldn’t smell the food. He would have thought the food had no smell if he hadn’t been sprayed in the nose when he first entered his room.

_Did it kill the cells in my nose or something?_

The man left and Makoto started eating, not wasting any time. It tasted even plainer than it looked. Eating something without smelling it was strange to him. He emptied the plate quickly anyways and set it aside.

Now that he had eaten, the drowsy came back full force. He hadn’t slept much since he was assigned this work. Maybe he could sleep a few hours and rush his way through the following problems. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

_“You shouldn’t sleep too much, Makoto-san. With the speed you’re going at, you will never finish it by the time it’s due. You don’t want to be punished, do you?”_

Makoto slowly opened his eyes and glared at the ceiling. He wanted to hit something. A face if possible.

“Why won’t you tell me what time it is?” he said, his voice restrained.

_“You might not work like you would if you did know the time. I’ll give you a single hint. This is the fourth day since you were brought to this laboratory. Make your choice.”_

Makoto was so tired he could barely figure out what those words meant.

_Fourth day? That doesn’t help me much. If the last time I slept was during the night, it should be night out now or close to it. I’m sure I’ve been awake for over twelve hours._

He couldn’t be sure because he didn’t know anything. He didn’t know the time, nor did he know why this was been done to him. And what about the others? What kind of things were they put through?

He cursed under his breath and went back to problem-solving.


	9. Rei & Rin & Nitori

Rei slept for a maximum of three hours. The shocks woke him up twice. The second shock woke him up for good. He was exhausted but as much as he tried, he couldn’t go back to sleep again. He decided to wake himself for good and paced around his room.

As he walked, he stared at the circles on the floor. He searched for any signs that showed they were going to let out electricity. He saw none and was shocked for his troubles. He could never get used to them. It seemed the voltage kept getting higher every time.

The walking alone was making him sweatier. He smelled strong enough so he stopped moving. He removed his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and looked up.

“Can’t you tell me why you’re doing this to us? Are you just watching lab rats getting tortured?”

Rei’s harsh words caught Paul off guard. He finally answered after a moment.

_“We are doing this for humanity and you boys.”_

Rei snorted, not a beautiful sound but it did fit the situation.

“Torturing us for humanity? That sounds pretty stupid.”

_“You will understand later on when this project is concluded.”_

He wanted to throw something at the speakers but of course, he had nothing to throw, not including his glasses, and he had no idea where the speakers were located.

He put his glasses back on and sat back down in the center of the room, his knees to his chest and his arms around his legs.

\---

Rin couldn’t believe he was still running. Just like yesterday, he was burning from the inside out and he wanted to stop but of course they wouldn’t allow that. His muscles were screaming from the lack of nutriments given to them and Rin couldn’t help but think of them ripping apart. And just like yesterday, he lost count of the hours he spent running.

The only positive thing was that he wasn’t being threatened with boiling hot water because he burned himself pretty bad yesterday. Instead it was with electric shocks. Painful shocks that sent him to the floor with cries of agony.

Actually, Rin had no idea which was better. He went with the shocks since the pain didn’t last as long as burning his skin did. He was still tired of them though. The only reason he wasn’t speaking his mind was because when he did so earlier today, the shock he received left him a drooling, immobile mess for a few seconds. He wasn’t an idiot so he abandoned his pride for the moment and kept his mouth shut since then.

Now he was so worn out that he’d receive another shock if it could just make him stop running. The problem with not having boiling water menacing him was that he had one less break, not that he would have willingly fallen in the water but still. It left meals, something he wasn’t responsible for, and bathroom breaks.

He almost laughed in happiness when he felt weight in his bladder.

“Hey…” he called out, out of breath. “Can I… bathroom break?”

_“Do you truly need to go?”_

It was practically a rhetorical question but Rin answered anyways.

“Yes,” he breathed out.

_“I doubt it.”_

A choked cry escaped his throat as he fell off the treadmill. The collar had shocked him again and he lost all the strength to stay upright. His head and back struck the floor simultaneously and he curled up on himself, his hands gripping the collar around his neck.

_“Why do you even try, Rin-san? You know it won’t work.”_

The panting from all the running and the pain of the shock made him unable to keep his saliva in his mouth. It pooled under him as the man in charge of him lifted him up to put him back on the treadmill. Rin almost whimpered when he realized what was happening.

“W-wait!” he yelled out, his breath audible in his voice. “I was saying the truth!” he gulped in air. “Just a minute!”

He cried out again when another shock went through his body.

_“You can wait, Rin-san. Put him back.”_

He was pushed back on it but he fell off instantly, earning him another shock. When he didn’t make a move to stand up, the shock increased in strength and continued on relentlessly, making him scream in pain.

Rin had lost his rhythm. Once he had stopped running, his muscles had given up in an instant. He shouldn’t have stopped at all. He might have lasted longer if he hadn’t. Now it was too late and he just wanted this suffering to stop.

“Stop…” he moaned. “I can’t… run anymore.”

His eyes were now filled with tears and the hands at his collar were stinging. The man had his arms in an iron grip, stopping the blood flow in them.

_“Will you be a good boy from now on?”_

Rin hated it. The tone in Paul’s voice, the words themselves, he hated it all, but he had to comply to be released from the pain.

He closed his eyes and nodded once.

_“Will you follow the rules? Will you obey us?”_

He nodded again and his arms were released. He was finally relieved from the pain a second later. He stayed still and kept his eyes closed. He was too exhausted to do anything else.

_“You will be treated better if you’re obedient. That’s all there is to it. We will let you sleep for now.”_

The man picked Rin up and lied him down on his side near the bathroom door before leaving the room.

A minute passed but Rin hadn’t move a single muscle though he wasn’t sleeping. Another minute passed and he forced himself to get up.

_I hate this. I hate this. I hate him._

With that thought in mind, he dragged himself to the bathroom.

\---

Now that he had slept a little, Nitori was able to get up and walk around. Of course there was nothing to see or do but he was happy not to be nauseous anymore.

He stopped under the spinning light in the center of the ceiling. When he looked directly at it, his head started spinning and he brought his gaze back down before he could fall. He saw something strange down there. His feet were distorted and he backed away in surprise.

“Optical illusion or drugs, which is it?” he hissed.

_“Whichever you think is. I say it might be both.”_

Nitori jumped in surprise. He wasn’t expecting an answer nor did he even know he said that out loud. He blinked a few times.

“So you admit I was given drugs?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

_“I guess I am. Don’t worry though, they won’t kill you.”_

Nitori looked back at his feet to see that they were back to normal.

_So they were drugs. I knew it!_

He sat back down.

“Why are you giving drugs to a teenager anyways?” he asked as he slapped his face a few times.

_“You don’t have to worry about a thing, Nitori-san. Just continue what you’re doing.”_

“Which is nothing,” he muttered.

Paul chuckled and he frowned at himself when he realized he thought aloud again. He sighed and stared ahead, continuing what he has been doing for the past day.

Absolutely nothing.


	10. Sousuke & Momotarou (End of Stage 1)

Paul was serious when he said he didn’t want Sousuke to sleep. The amount of times Sousuke had been shocked when he was seconds away from falling asleep exceeded five.

“Don’t you have better things to do then this?” he sighed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

_“I admit I do but this is my job and I’ll see it to the end, for humanity.”_

A smile formed on Sousuke’s lips but there was no joy in it.

“For humanity, huh? Humanity’s cruel.”

_“Well, we’re not in the best of situations.”_

Sousuke frowned at the ceiling. Paul spoke up just as he was going to ask questions.

_“Don’t think about it, you have enough to worry about, no?”_

He looked around at the flashing lights, listened to the music, and smelled the air.

“Yeah, I have to worry about becoming insane,” he spat. “Who the hell is in charge of this?”

Paul chuckled.

_“And what will you do if you knew? You don’t have much power over any of us.”_

Sousuke received a shock to add to the words. He hissed in pain.

“I would tell them that they’re doing a terrible job and that they should stop getting drunk at work.”

He heard Paul laugh.

_“Heard that, Brenda? Actually, she’s doing a very good job, you know.”_

Sousuke just frowned.

_“Here, we’ll be nice.”_

In an instant, everything stopped. The room fell into nearly complete darkness and the music stopped. He couldn’t smell anything after a couple of seconds.

Sousuke should have been happy that his senses weren’t assaulted anymore but he wasn’t. His ears were ringing and there were spots of color in his vision. His nose just wasn’t picking any smell. It felt like he had gone deaf, blind, and couldn’t smell anything, even his own smell.

He let out a breath just to make sure he could still hear. He barely could. In fact, his ears had started to hurt slightly.

_I’m not going deaf, am I?_

He didn’t like it one bit. He was just a teenage guy; it wasn’t the time to lose his senses. How would he live later on? Was he even going to get out of here and live?

Panic steadily grew in him until his breathing became loud and labored. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead and he started hearing the rushing of his blood in his ears.

He couldn’t see the clock of course and could barely hear the ticking. He couldn’t stand the noise in his ears so he walked over to the clock and sat down below it.

He stared in the direction of the bathroom door. He let out a shaky breath and swallowed. It was hard to deal with this sudden change. He could leave the sink on or something to break the near silence but he really didn’t want to be deaf. His ears needed a break.

So he buried his face in his knees and tried to deal with his lack of senses.

\---

Momotarou had managed to sleep after two hours yesterday but he woke up with a start, heart beating fast and in sweat. He had dreamed that he was being eaten by some men without faces. He couldn’t do anything to defend himself. He was tied around wood and he was going to be grilled alive. He woke up just before his back made contact with the fire.

The scariest thing of his nightmare were the men. They had no faces, just a bump where their nose should be and eyelids but no eyeballs or eyelashes. It was unsettling to say the least.

He waited until he calmed down to get up and wash his face. He jumped when he heard Paul’s voice in the speakers.

_“I see you’re awake. This means you can start watching more movies. I’ll call your man right now.”_

A wave of fear went through him when he thought back to his previous movie session. He started sweating in panic.

“Wait! I’m tired, can’t I sleep more? I don’t think I slept that long,” he let out, his voice high.

He was already scared. He knew Paul wasn’t going to allow it.

_“Fine, I’m giving you a few more hours of sleep.”_

Momotarou blinked.

“Really?” he asked in disbelief.

_“Really.”_

He looked warily at the ceiling. There was no way they were going to fulfill his request without some kind of consequence befalling him.

“What are you going to do? You’re going to shock me, aren’t you?”

_“We will not be doing anything of the sort.”_

He didn’t trust him one bit but it didn’t seem like he had been lied to in the past day. He couldn’t control anything anyway. He didn’t even want to sleep. He wasn’t ready to have another nightmare. It was still better than watching more of those movies so he had tried his luck. Evidently, it had worked but most likely only partly.

He went back to his room and lied down on the floor before closing his eyes. Like Paul said, nothing happened and he fell back asleep effortlessly.

The next time he woke up, he didn’t jump even though his short dream was almost as terrifying as the first one. Actually, he couldn’t move at all. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He tried to move his arms but they didn’t listen to him.

_Why can’t I move?_

He could only move his eyes. He was lying on his side, facing the door. His chest felt heavy like someone was putting pressure on it. The light was dim and he felt a presence in the room, making it impossible for him to stay calm. He could only stare ahead for a few seconds.

He blinked and his breath caught in his throat. There was something like a shadow in the shape of a man at the door.

_What…what is that?_

He blinked again and his breathing picked up again, faster than normal. The shadow had moved closer, only a few feet away. He tried his best not blink, staring at the black shadow. He had to blink after a few seconds though and he did.

The sound that came out of his throat would have been a shriek if he could move. Instead, it was only a soft, low sound. The shadow had move directly into his face, moving even. Momotarou’s eyes watered in sheer fear. He couldn’t even tremble, he was completely paralyzed. He really wanted a shock right now just to make his muscles move.

He blinked again and the shadow disappeared. He could feel something like a current go through his upper body and his fear grew into terror.

_Is it on my back? Oh my God, it’s on my back._

Suddenly, his muscles relaxed and his lungs increased in volume as he gasped for air. He could finally move and he sat up in a flash. His eyes shot around the room frantically while he gripped the front of his shirt, trying to breathe normally. There wasn’t any shadow man, just normal shadows.

He swallowed just as Paul started speaking.

_“Now you can continue, right?”_

A sharp, shaky breath left his lips as the door opened and his man entered. He backed away but he was seized by the forearms effortlessly. He tried to push him away but of course it was pointless. Even with fear giving him energy, he was still a teenager who hadn’t eaten in a day and hadn’t slept well.

He was forced down to his knees.

“I just want a break!” he yelled, his voice rough because of the lump in his throat.

_“Not yet, Momotarou-san.”_

Momotarou shook his head and struggled as the man attempted to bind his wrists and ankles with the shackles. An especially strong blow to the chest forced him to stop. The man left, his job done and over with.

The TV turned on and Momotarou lowered his head with a shaky sigh before a shock made him lift his head back up.

_I’m so tired._

\---

Paul looked at Momotarou’s screen, his glasses reflecting it. Fatigue and fear showed clearly on Momotarou’s face. Paul was also tired and rubbed his eyes. He turned his chair around to face his men.

“They’re acting like planned. We’re starting Stage 2 in four days. Are you guys ready?”

They nodded slowly. Paul turned back around to face the screens.

“We have to prepare ourselves.”

The men nodded again, their faces emotionless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep paralysis terrifies me. I would be in complete fear if I was in Momo's place!


	11. (Stage 2) Haru & Nagisa

 

Cold water was poured on Haru and he got genuinely scared that he had fallen in the freezing cold water again and was going to feel excruciating pain. He calmed down when he felt the solid ground below him. He noticed something had been added to his room.

He was surprised to see an aquarium with plain-colored fish in it. There was even a crab. The fish were separated by glass, making a little cell around them. Next to it was a stove without buttons and an unusually tall pot missing its handles. On a closer look, he saw there was boiling water in it. He frowned just as his man approached him. He looked different somehow; meaner.

“Hungry?” he asked.

Haru didn’t answer. He  _was_  hungry. It had been three days since he ate. He was so hungry that he felt nauseous every second. He knew nothing good was coming from that question though so he kept his silence. Nothing good ever came to him since he woke up here for the first time.

The past days have been close to hell. He had to stand on the tile around the freezing water again and he fell twice. He was just so tired now. He was barely allowed to sleep.

The man didn’t expect an answer and walked over to the aquarium. He lightly knocked on the solid glass.

“Choose what fish you want to eat.”

He looked at the man for a moment and stared at the aquarium. When he didn’t say anything, he received a light shock.

“Come on, it’s fresh fish,” the man said, tapping the glass again.

Haru stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“You’re killing it now?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“You don’t want me to?” The man asked back.

Haru shook his head when he realized the man was staring at him, waiting for an answer. The man smiled in response before taking a knife from his belt and playing with it.

“I’m shocking you again if you don’t choose.”

His collar heated up to enforce his words.

“The one on the farthest right,” Haru finally answered.

The man smiled again and went to the right side of the aquarium. The fish was the second smallest of the bunch. The man lowered his gloved hand into the aquarium and grabbed the fish despite its struggle. He lowered the knife and brought it to the fish’s head before sawing it off.

The fish’s struggle, the blood, the way the man was sawing away at it; it all made Haru feel queasy. It was so brutal yet the man did it without much of a reaction. When the head was a foot away from the body, he lifted the scaled animal and held it up for Haru to see. Its body was still moving despite its lack of a head.

It was soon dropped into the pot.

“Here you go. Might be a bit hot though. And here, to feed the fish.”

Haru clumsily caught the white container thrown at him. The door to his room closed and he was promptly left alone.

Haru stared at the door and soon moved his gaze to the pot. After what he saw, the fish looked even less appetizing. He was conflicted. To eat or not to eat?

His stomach felt empty and somehow heavy, like he could feel the weight of it inside his body. He had to eat if he wanted to stay alive. He sat down across from it and stared.

_“I’ll tell you when it’s done, Haruka.”_

Haru frowned.

_Haruka?_

He didn’t say anything and waited for Paul to tell him it was ready. When he did, he wasn’t particularly excited. He got up slowly and walked over to it. The water had turned a strange color from the blood and other fluids and Haru grimaced.

_What’s the point of this?_

He looked up at the ceiling.

“How am I picking this up?”

_“With your hands, how else?”_

Haru sighed. He didn’t even know why he had asked. Maybe it was because he hadn’t used his throat much lately and he needed to stretch it a little.

He stared at the fish for a good moment. Was he hungry enough to reach down and burn his hands? He swallowed and felt nausea rise up. It was clear he was more than hungry enough though it would be difficult to swallow it down with his stomach as it is now.

He thought about it a bit. Could he use his toothbrush to pick it up? Would that be disgusting? The water looked very hot though. He knew what boiling water felt like, he cooked back at home after all. He sighed through his nose at the thought of home.

_Damn it…_

He turned around and glanced at the bathroom door.

_“Don’t even think about it, Haruka.”_

He looked up but kept his mouth shut. He turned back around and reached for the fish. He jumped back when electricity mercilessly traveled from his neck to his fingers as they made contact with the boiling water. He glared at the ceiling.

_Boiling water wasn’t enough pain?_

He tried again but his hand jumped away on its own. He blew on his fingers to ease the pain a bit. He was about to just give up and sit down but his stomach reminded him he hadn’t eaten in days and his hand went back inside the pot. This time, he managed to grab the tail and he pulled it up, all the while burning his hand and forearm. The shock seemed to get stronger the more he lifted it up, gradually numbing his arm and making it unresponsive.

He cried out when an explosive shock went through his neck and the fish slipped out of his fingers. Fortunately, the fish fell down on the floor and not back in the pot. He waved his bright red hand around, the tears nearly spilling over because of the burning pain. His eyes automatically went to the bathroom

_“We’ve turned the water off in your room for now.”_

He let out a frustrated sigh and sat down beside the fish. His entire right arm was radiating waves of pain but he tried his best to ignore it as he blew on the vapor leaving the hot carcass. He wasn’t going to waste it.

He ate the watery fish like a wild animal, all the while suffering and nearly crying.

\---

Nagisa was staring ahead at the wall, his mind blank except for the word “move”. He wanted to run a marathon, to have his lungs burning, to be sweating like crazy; he just wanted to move.

He was constantly itchy and he couldn’t move to scratch himself. He couldn’t help but visualize bugs crawling on his skin. The itch vanished and came back over and over again. It was unbearable. His head felt light and dizzy because of his reduced oxygen intake which didn’t improve the state of things.

The man had come yesterday to wash him. He was given a shot to paralyze him. It was strange, being washed by someone, just like a mother would do to a child. The worst was that he couldn’t move no matter what. They were moving his legs around, touching every patch of skin without leaving a single place unwashed. It was uncomfortable, disturbing, and embarrassing at the same time.

Since the gag was taken off and his mouth wasn’t completely unreponsive, he had try begging the man to at least make him taste the food. Nagisa loved food and it was cruel not to let him taste it. Also, he needed something to change. He was looking at the same wall, feeling the same pain, thinking the same thing; nothing was different as the days passed. It was driving him crazy.

Of course, he was given a firm no and returned to his metal prison. Now he was just staring at the wall, cursing the situation he was in.

That was when he heard a sound. Something was hissing. He felt something slightly warm and kind of leathery. The thing hissed again, its tongue inches away from his ear. He shrieked through his gag.

_Oh my God, a snake is on me._

He could feel his heart beating forcefully against his ribcage now and his breathing sounded unnatural to his ears. His sweat began to fall into his eyes and he blinked the water away. Nagisa had always been scared of spiders, mice and snakes. He hated creepy crawlers. Snakes were the last in term of the fear it caused him but right now, his fear climbed to new heights. That was probably due to the fact that he  _couldn’t move_ _away_ from it.

The snake continued its way around his neck, slowly making its way to his face. When he saw its head, his heart skipped a beat. It was staring at him with large brown eyes, its tongue hitting his nose. He whimpered in fear when it opened its mouth to expose the white flesh of its throat.

Nagisa wanted to cry. The snake was going to bite him with its long fangs and he was going to die in aguish. Its face vanished from sight as it made another circle around his neck.

_I won’t be bitten and die, I’m going to be strangled to death!_

He looked up at the ceiling desperately and whined, his eyes watering.

_“If you die, you won’t have to feel all of this anymore, would you, Nagisa?”_

Nagisa didn’t know what to think.

He wasn’t the only one suffering, that he was sure. Maybe the others were in an even worst situation than he was. Besides, dying this young would be terrible. He wasn’t even out of high school yet.

He looked at the ceiling with a stronger gaze though the fear was definitely still there.

_It’s not time for me to die, not because of this._

_“No? Well actually, he won’t kill you. Let him play with you for a bit.”_

Nagisa wanted to shake his head, to say no, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything and it was frustrating. He felt so helpless and weak. It felt like he would never get out of this situation.

The snake tightened around his neck and his fear came back full force.

_It won’t kill me? It’ll enjoy killing me! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!_

Tears landed on the snake’s scales as it hissed, seemingly smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Haru's punishement the tame one now? I think I'm giving him a little break for now.


	12. Makoto & Rei

Makoto never heard his heart beat so loudly before. It felt and sounded like it would fly right out of his chest. He could barely silence his breathing either.

He wasn’t done. He felt the day was either today or tomorrow. Either way, he knew he wouldn’t be done. He had forty questions left and he was stuck. He had failed this lesson when he was at school and had barely passed it during the final exam.

The more he looked at it, the more confused he was. He was brought down by exhaustion so to add to his panic, he couldn’t think straight. He had managed to complete the other problems without a calculator but this was just too difficult for him without it.

Just as he was about to ask Paul for help, the door opened, making his heart skip a beat. The man he was getting used to seeing came in with a couple of stapled papers and a pen. Makoto stared at him and the man held up the papers.

“It’s time for me to check your work,” he stated as he walked to him.

Makoto wanted to push him away and hide the papers but he knew there was no benefit in doing such a reckless thing. The man sat down beside him and Makoto’s hand twitched when the man took the papers.

As he watched the man grade the papers like a teacher, he noticed that he had brought nothing to punish him with. Surely they would give him more time.

He chewed on his lower lip when he saw red marks appear after thirty problems.

_“We know you aren’t finished, Makoto.”_

Makoto jumped despite himself. He was wondering why he was suddenly called by his first name without honorifics but he had to worry about the fact that they did, in fact, know he wasn’t done.

_“We will count the problems you haven’t done as mistakes. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know what a mistake means now.”_

Makoto chewed on his lip even harder.

“Punishment,” he replied quietly.

_“Exactly.”_

Now he had butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t know how much he had missed. He wasn’t aware they were actually grading him. He just thought they wanted to know if he could do all 500 in that period of time. He didn’t try at all, he didn’t verify his answers, though he didn’t have the time anyways. This meant he had made more than a few mistakes. It was obvious that the more mistakes he made, the more severe the punishment would be.

After a few minutes, the man got up and Makoto’s heart picked up again. He was handed the paper and he was almost too scared to see what he got. His eyes widened when he did see it.

_390 out of 500? My God, what does this mean they’ll do?_

“A few were small mistakes too. If you were a bit more awake you probably wouldn’t have missed this much,” The man commented, his face showing absolutely nothing.

Makoto was angry, he really was, but his fear overshadowed his anger. He was horrified to see the man take off his belt. He couldn’t help but think of terrible things.

“Turn around,” the man ordered.

Makoto stared at him, vivid pictures in his mind, before slowly turning around. His breathing was loud and quick again and he was sure and certain the man could hear him.

“Take off your shirt.”

Makoto frowned and looked back at the man. He had the extremities of the belt in his hand and Makoto knew exactly what was coming. He took off his shirt slowly and kept it into a messy ball in his hands. He stared off at the wall, his face having lost all color.

_“One mistake equals two lashes. Do your math, Makoto.”_

Makoto lowered his head.

“220,” he muttered, almost to himself.

_“Right.”_

He heard the sound of the belt buckle and Makoto despaired.

“Why two per mistake? Isn’t 110 enough?” he dared to ask.

_“We won’t do them all today, we don’t want to permanently hurt you after all.”_

Paul had barely answered his question.

_“A little warning for you, Makoto. If you try to move away or resist, we’re adding two each time. You can start now, Brian.”_

It felt like his heart was beating in his throat. The fear made him want to run away from the man but that same fear also kept him in place. He was scared of many things at once and in the end, he stayed there, waiting for the pain to come. Makoto gripped on his shirt tighter and held his breath.

He gasped at the first strike, more in shock than pain. The second time, he felt it very well. He didn’t know exactly what he had expected but that wasn’t it. It hurt much more than he thought. It started with pain, then it burned, and finally it stung. He was struck once more and he gritted his teeth.

He already wanted it to end but it continued with more force. It seemed each hit was getting stronger. By the eighth stroke, he was crying out in pain. The sound the belt was making when it made contact with his skin sounded awful to his ears and only magnified the pain. He got a few more strikes before a handful of his hair was grabbed and his head yanked up.

His eyes watered when he was hit on the face several times. The belt moved down to his chest and he unconsciously pushed the man away when his nipples were struck. He was kicked in response and his shoulder hit the floor followed by his head. He brought a hand up to his nose and mouth as tears started running down his face and unto the floor below him.

_Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve all this? What have we all done to deserve this?_

The cruel belting continued but Makoto had lost count a long time ago. His pants were even taken off so he could completely feel the pain on his legs. A particularly strong hit on his inner thigh made him look up at the man, eyes pleading.

“Stop it,” he whispered, too weak to speak loudly.

“Six more.”

That was all the man said as he continued swinging the belt around, the leather cutting through the air with speed. He was in tears when the last strike was delivered. He was curled up, his forearms hiding his flushed face. He was shaking from both the pain and the sobs that wracked his body. He looked miserable, lying there nearly naked and crying.

The belt was dropped on him and the buckle hit his ear, prompting a choked cry from him. He saw the man leave in his blurry vision and closed his eyes.

_“You received 32 lashes today. You will receive more every day until the 110 mistakes are redeemed for.”_

His arms fell from his face and he continued crying, cursing his life.

\---

Rei was slightly suffocating on the scent of his own body. He thought he would be used to it by now but it was too strong. He was starting to think he would be infected by something. This was a laboratory and maybe some strange bacteria or viruses were floating around in the air. Rei grimaced in disgust.

There was something strange on his wall. It was a painting devoid of color and symmetry. For some reason, it bothered him and he kept looking at it, like having a spider in your room and being unable to move your eyes away from the frightening thing.

_What is that doing there? When was it even put there?_

What really caught his attention though was the strange smell in the room. It wasn’t the smell of his own body nor the smell of the smelly white foods he was given to eat. It was something strangely sweet and bitter at the same time. Rei didn’t like it. His head hurt and his body felt numb and sluggish.

The door opened but he wasn’t sure if he was happy or not. The man had no food with him. Instead, he had what could be a baseball bat in his hand, making Rei swallow.

_“We gave you two extra painless days, Rei.”_

Rei frowned and tried to get up quickly but he was slow. The man twirled the weapon in his fingers and approached him. Rei’s heart and breathing picked up as he sensed the imminent danger. He backed away until the wall stopped him.

“Why are you doing this? What did I do to deserve this?” he asked, his hands trembling at his sides.

_“Your mistake is to have been born in this world and generation.”_

Rei didn’t have time to think about his words. The first blow came out of nowhere. His glasses flew and hit the wall as he stumbled to the side. He wasn’t given a break before the second hit was landed. He was on the floor in an instant.

He was mercilessly hit over and over again, each time with a bit more strength. To Rei, the pain felt much stronger than it should. Every strike felt like it caused permanent damage.  It was almost like those drugs that heightened your senses. He knew something wasn’t normal with him.

He tried to protect his face with his arms but it was useless. He managed to get his hand on the man’s arm and pushed away the weapon but he had been weak for a while now so his hand was effortlessly yanked away.

He could feel heat under his skin in certain places and he knew he would be covered in bruises later. A strong kick to the stomach took the wind out of him and he curled up on the floor. He was kicked in the back, in the face, in the stomach, everywhere it was easy to kick. 

His nose was bleeding and he was starting to feel light-headed and dizzy. He was bleeding in several other places but he couldn’t look down to see if he wanted to preserve his face.

_He won’t beat me to death, will he?_

Just as he thought this, a foot landed between his legs and pressed down with surgical precision. The pain was almost electric. It traveled along his spinal cord and up to his brain like ants. The pain made him dry-heave and he was certain he would throw up. All he could do was let out short, pained breaths when another foot pushed down on the side of his head.

“Goodnight.”

That was the last thing he heard before he felt exploding pain in his head and lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for your Makoto AngryFemale!


	13. Rin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is Rin, wow. He's my fave so I guess I'm picking favorites. So sorry!

Being in complete darkness unsettled Rin. He couldn’t see anything except for the machine’s dim light coming from its screen. He couldn’t see the water around him and the walls though he could feel the vapor it emitted. He couldn’t even see his own body. He couldn’t hear much either, just the sound of his breathing, his feet, and the constant buzz of the machine.

He didn’t get a meal break today or any other kind of break for that matter. He had never run so much, not even the first time he ran for those crazy people. Not only that, but he had been woken up after only four hours of sleep. The dark didn’t help to keep him awake.

In short, he was dying.

He moaned loudly enough for it to be obvious it was meant for Paul.

_“You want a break, don’t you, Rin?”_

Rin didn’t even bother to answer.

_“There’s a new rule. You get to have a fourth way to have a break. It can be anytime and it’s chosen by you. Anytime you feel like you’re at your limit, you can request a break.”_

His sentence had so many red flags. Rin took a deep breath to speak.

“Come on....spit it out. What’s the catch?” He asked breathily, staring in the darkness.

He heard a soft noise from Paul and imagined him smiling.

_“Every time you request a break, you will be charged.”_

Rin frowned at no one.

“Huh?”

_“The breaks you take will correspond to ten minutes of abuse you will get from your man.”_

_Abuse? How long are ten minutes anyways?_

_“Want a break?”_

He knew Paul was testing him but it didn’t change the fact that he was seconds away from falling into that water. He didn’t know what kind of abuse he was talking about but he had to deal with it. He didn’t want to deal with the burning pain. Just remembering it made his heartbeat pick up.

“…Yeah…” he finally answered.

The treadmill slowed down to a stop and Rin fell to his knees, painful breaths moving his chest up and down. He could hear his sweat hitting the floor of the treadmill below. His room lit up slightly and he could finally see himself. He looked down at his hands and his breath caught in his throat. His fingers were strange sizes and lengths. It was like different fingers had been sewn into his hand. It was terrifying.

He slowly brought his hands to his face to feel his fingers. They were normal in length and Rin sighed in relief.

_The light is doing some strange things to my eyes._

The door opened as the floor came back in place. The man was carrying a chair behind him. He set it down a few feet away from the treadmill and sat down, facing Rin. Rin frowned at him.

“You requested a break so rest up.”

Rin looked back down, thinking of a few things that could be done with a chair. There weren’t many he could think of, making him anxious.

The eyes on him bothered him and made him uncomfortable. He didn’t enjoy being stared at, especially not by this guy. He was just regaining his breath after a minute when the man spoke to him.

“Come here.”

Rin didn’t want to go to him, didn’t want to move to be specific, but he didn’t feel like receiving any shocks right now so he obeyed. When he stopped in front of the man, his arm was seized and he was lightly pulled to the man’s side. Rin still had no idea what was going to be done to him and his anxiety just kept on growing.

A handful of his hair was suddenly gripped and yanked forward. He fell on the man’s laps and he finally realized what was going on. Rin was starting to get up.

“You’re not serio- ah!”

A strong elbow to the middle of his back and a shock at his neck made him fall right back down. The shock kept on going as his pants were pulled down to his knees. A hand landed on Rin’s head to keep him down.

He felt a hand brush his skin and his body shivered in response.

“Fucking creep, what the hell are yo-”

He was interrupted again, this time by a smack.

Rin could hardly believe it.

_I’m being spanked? Seriously?_

But it continued. No matter how much he writhed and struggled, he couldn’t get up. The hand on his head and the continuous shock prevented him from doing so. It frustrated him how much power the people here had on him.

The sound of skin hitting skin was just terrible to Rin’s ears. This was mortifying and he was aware that the Paul guy was watching this, probably with delight. He couldn’t help but imagine how pathetic he looked to Paul’s eyes.

He tried to move his head at least but nails dug into his scalp, bringing tears to his eyes. The strange thing was that it actually hurt. A lot in fact. He knew that as a kid it hurt a lot but he never expected it to hurt so much now. He had the impression that as you got older, such things weren’t as demeaning and painful but he was starting to feel he was wrong.

In reality, it was worst now because it was even more humiliating. He had pride back then but it was nothing compared to now. All that pride was crumbling slowly but steadily with each powerful smack.

He realized that tears wanted to slip out and he tried to hold them back. He succeeded until the man spoke.

“See how easy it is to do this to you? We’re the ones in power right now. That’s why you need to be obedient. You have to be a good boy.”

The man rubbed his head, his nails grazing his scalp, and Rin’s tears spilled over.

He hated how easily he cried. He was a crybaby, a child. He was even treated like one. It hurt and it was humiliating. He just wanted this abuse to stop.

He tried his best not to make a sound but sniffles and shaky breaths escaped him, giving him away. He cursed at himself. The rubbing on his head became even softer, transforming into a gentle caress.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” the man cooed.

Those words made Rin’s tears fall in greater quantities. It was repulsing to him and the man knew it.

“Stop," Rin began, his voice feeble and low. “Treating me like a kid. Fucking creep.”

The smacks got stronger and faster, finally making Rin cry out. It was stinging and he had nothing to think about to attempt to getting away from the situation.

“But you are a kid who needs to be punished and disciplined," he heard the man sigh softly. “Your face is all flushed, just like a little boy.”

Rin shook his head under the man’s hand. He hated how he was acting like a parent, like a father. Even his real dad didn’t do such things when he was still alive. This was just cruel and degrading.

“Just shut up,” he let out, venom in his voice.

He received a powerful slap on his thigh and he whimpered, his toes curling up against the floor. He regretted having said anything. This continued on for several minutes and all the while, Rin’s self-esteem deteriorated and his energy faded into thin air.

He had given up trying to hide his shame. He sniveled softly unto the man’s knee, his arms wrapped loosely around his leg. The pain was always effective since the spanks kept changing places.

Rin was just so tired. He was exhausted, hungry, humiliated, and in pain. He wanted to just fall asleep but the vivid burn in his rear kept his mind from going anywhere.

The swats finally stopped coming and Rin felt emptied of energy. He just stared at the floor with moist eyes and his silence, his mind a blank sheet of paper.

He was pushed to the floor and he hissed in pain. Hands were suddenly cupping his face. His face was brought up inches away from the man’s own. Rin was forced to look at him in the eyes.

“Have you learned your lesson, Rin?” he asked softly.

Rin didn’t have the energy to talk back or answer so he just stared at the man’s face, his eyes glistening with warm tears. The latter smiled and let him go before looking up at the ceiling.

_“You can rest for now, Rin. You have three hours maximum before you have to go back to running.”_

With that, the man left and Rin was left alone. He fixed himself and curled up beside the wall.

It was now dark again and it was mostly silent except for the machine’s soft hum. Rin had no escape from his thoughts. Pathetic, childish, and weak were words that kept showing up in his mind over and over again.

His teeth dug into his bottom lip and his hands tightened around his arms as he closed his eyes. He would do almost anything to forget the events of the past days. He kept on thinking of his friends seeing him in such a state and it made him want to fall asleep and never wake up. He was in a nightmare with no end in sight.

He buried his face in his hands and continued to cry like a child.


	14. Nitori & Sousuke & Momotarou

Nitori didn't have much choice but to eat his food and now he was punching the wall because he was regretting it. The rash that had invaded various parts of his body didn’t stop itching. It wasn’t real, he knew that, but it felt so real. The itch _was_ real. He kept scratching over and over again and in the end he started bleeding.

Now it stung and he hissed in pain. He went to the bathroom to wash the blood off his face and arms. It was scary to see the red water but this wasn’t the first time he’d seen this. He remembered losing his baby tooth once by accident when he was little and all the bleeding it had caused.

For some reason, he didn’t remember what age he had when it happened. He could swear he knew what age he was but he just had no idea right now. He frowned and left the room. He saw his reflection on the mirror as he closed the door and he jumped.

His hair was falling. Not only the hair on his head but also his eyebrows and eyelashes. He felt an eyelash fall into his eye and blinked it away. He brought a hand to his head and ran his fingers through his gray hair.

He stared with wide eyes when a handful of thin strands came down along with his hand. His breathing picked up.

“It’s not real, it’s not real,” he whispered to himself.

_“It might be very real, Aiichirou.”_

Nitori frowned before shaking his head.

The hair felt real though. He could feel the strands of hair tickle his skin and he saw them fall to the floor as he lowered his hand. His hand went back to his head and it came back in his field of vision with patches of gray.

“Oh my God…” he let out.

He looked back up at the mirror and it was obvious his bangs had gotten thinner. He still wasn’t sure if it was real or not. Hair loss could be a side effect of the drugs or it could be hallucinations directly caused by the drugs. He had no idea because everything just felt so real.

Beads of sweat formed on his brow in his panic and the itch came back full force. He scratched at his wrist, drawing blood. He slapped himself for scratching so hard despite knowing it was fake and just wiped it on his white clothes.

“Don’t mind it, don’t mind it.”

He kept repeating this as he scratched his arms where the itch started to overcome him. He started pacing around the room in an attempt to distract himself from the unbearable feeling. He kept seeing black things in the corner of his eyes but it always turned out to be nothing. Even if he knew that, his head turned every time.

The shadows in his rooms were moving, the spinning ball seemed to be slower than usual, and the light coming from it was much brighter than usual. He was far from being in his normal state. He also saw strange shapes sometimes. He heard strange sounds like scratching and felt random breezes, even tasting food in his mouth when of course there was nothing.

Nitori didn’t know what was happening to him and it was frightening.

He started scratching at the wall just to hear some kind of noise that was real; that wasn’t made up by his mind. He stopped when he was scratching so hard that the white paint stayed on his long nails and he could see the grey color the wall originally had.

The red scratches on his pale skin contrasted with the wall. It was oddly alluring to him. He dug the white tips of his nails into the small scars and forced them to bleed. He held up his bleeding arm against the wall and even wiped some blood on it. The contrast was wonderful to look at.

He realized what he was doing when a strand of hair fell in front of his face. He looked down at his arm in horror. He hadn’t seen so much blood in a long time. On one hand his nails were white with paint while the other hand was red with blood. His other arm along with his feet and various parts of his body were also red from all the scratching.

He was having a hard time breathing and he swallowed. He hurried to the bathroom. He had to wash all that blood away before he could go crazy from its assaulting color.

\---

Sousuke’s room had become lively again and he was actually relieved. If he had been in silence and complete darkness any longer, he didn’t know what would have happened to his mind.

Now he was pacing around the room because he was tired of sitting down. He noticed that his hair grew longer when it obscured his vision every time he took a step.

_How long has it even been?_

He looked at the clock. He was trying to keep track of the days but it was a bit difficult without paper. All he knew was that he had thirty-something days left.

He jumped when the door opened just as he passed by it. His man smiled at him and entered with a tray of food. He set it down on the floor before turning around to look at Sousuke. The latter found the staring unsettling. The man left before he could say anything.

Sousuke frowned and sat down beside the tray. The food looked good today too though it was offered in a small amount.

Yesterday he was given delicious food. Of course he was suspicious of it but he felt fine after eating it so he decided nothing was put into it.

He smelled the food just in case and started eating. It was decent until he started eating the cheesecake. It was suddenly bitter and he felt something long and crunchy. His heartbeat picked up, sensing that something was wrong. That long and crunchy thing twitched and he didn’t waste time to spit away the contents of his mouth.

He dared to look. There was a brown substance in the chewed piece of cheesecake. He looked at the original cheesecake just as a brown hairy leg shot out of it and wiggled. His heart clenched at the sight.

There would have been vomit everywhere if it wasn’t for the fact that the bathroom was right behind him. His body efficiently emptied the contents of his stomach. He rinsed his mouth with soap and brushed his teeth. After a minute, he had a bad taste in his mouth and a queasy stomach along with broken trust. Well, the trust had been small and fragile but he still had had a little of it.

He cursed himself for being so stupid.

_“Oops, we apologize, Sousuke. We had no idea this spider was in there. It might have been one of the spiders we were testing viruses on.”_

Sousuke looked genuinely terrified when he looked up at the ceiling. Paul made a soft noise in response.

_“I’m joking, we would never do that. We want you alive, we can’t risk you catching a disease. You can continue eating if you want.”_

Sousuke just shook his head and left the bathroom. He inhaled sharply when he saw half of the spider sticking out of the cake. Seeing its legs twitch made him gag.

“What will happen if I put this cake in the toilet?” he asked, a hand covering his mouth.

_“You want to clog the toilet, Sousuke? It will be your loss.”_

Sousuke’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, now we’re friends?”

Paul let out a chuckle.

_“You’re the first one today to call me out on it. They mostly frowned except for Nagisa and Rin who couldn’t or weren’t in their normal state to respond. There’s no more respect to be given from me.”_

His hand fell from his mouth and tightened into a fist.

“What the hell did you do to them?”

He said them but he was mostly worried about Rin. If the causes Paul said were in order, Rin wasn’t in his normal state to answer. He had no idea what that meant but it sounded bad.

_“Nothing much.”_

A frustrated sigh left Sousuke’s lips and he just ignored Paul. He pushed the tray to the corner of the room with his foot. He went and sat in the other corner, eyeing the moving spider and turning away when his heartbeat started picking up as it twitched.

He heard another sound from Paul but no words were exchanged.

\---

Momotarou was on edge. Just like a few days ago, he woke up unable to move. It was even scarier than the first time. He had heard various sounds like loud breathing, clicks, and the rustle of clothes. The dark made him unable to see so he had no idea if those were real sounds or not. He was even touched multiple times though so lightly he didn’t know if it was just paranoia.

He was now sitting on trembling knees and in tears. The sounds continued and his eyes shot around the room endlessly.

The man finally came in, food in his hands. Momotarou was relieved to be with someone he could actually see. He couldn’t find the appetite to eat but he knew he might not have this chance in days so he forced it down his throat. It was back to watching TV after the man tied Momotarou up and left.

_“Today you’ll be watching something a bit different. You might like it, Momotarou.”_

He wasn’t watching horror movies or disturbing documentaries this time. Instead, he was watching experiments and surgeries done on humans.

Momotarou didn’t know if it was because he had watched various horrifying things during the past days but he strangely couldn’t take his eyes away. Like looking at a bug on the wall.

This cost him the meal he ate just an hour ago.

Those experiments were disgusting and just inhumane. People were sewn together while some were operated on while awake and fully aware. The genuine screaming was awful to hear. He saw how disease affected people, saw bugs come out of every orifice of the human body and others things he couldn’t even bear to recall.

After hours and hours of experiments that were all wildly different, he felt like he had seen over half of the world’s atrocities.

He felt awful. Disgust, fear, pity; he had never felt so bad in his life. He was covered in vomit and so weak that the only thing keeping him somewhat upright were the chains tied to his wrists.

He yelped when hands appeared on his wrist. He hadn’t even noticed the man come in.

He was getting tired of his heart beating so fast. He was given a change of clothes and for once, was completely calm when he took his shower. He was used to never closing his eyes and being as quick as the speed of sound.

It meant something bad was coming and Momotarou knew it.


	15. Haru & Nagisa

Haru had spent the whole week wanting to tear off his stomach and put it in the pot. He was starving in every sense of the word. He had no energy and was just lying down on the floor.

Despite his deranged sense of time, he knew that at the very least, three days had passed since he last ate, maybe even more.

He fed the fish every day and played with them because that was the only thing he could do. He felt guilty every time he thought of what the man did last time. He didn’t want them to die, they were his only company after all, but he was a hungry beast and he wanted to swallow them whole. He had tried eating the same food as the fish and regretted it instantly.

The man had come only to force water down his throat. It didn’t sit well in his stomach and it came back out most of the time and it was an awful feeling to throw up over and over again.

_Can’t I die from ingesting too much water? They want to kill me after all?_

Haru shook his head and looked at the bathroom.

He had neglected days of showering. Not only was he tired, he didn’t want to touch water. He was aware of his own smell and it made him uncomfortable so he forced himself to overcome his unease and shower.

He crouched in front of the bath and turned on the water. He gasped when he touched it. The water wasn’t even extremely hot or cold but it hurt so much. He made contact with someone’s chest when he got up and he rapidly turned around.

The man grabbed his bicep before he could even react.

“I’m here to help you,” he said to him.

Haru just shook his head as the bath filled up. He knew what was coming and he was terrified. Despite putting up a fight, the man removed his clothes and shoved him in the water. The intense pain emptied his lungs of air. Tears immediately welled up in his eyes as he gasped, nearly choking on the water.

He was screaming before his mind could even process the pain. The water was attacking him, biting into his flesh and down to the bones. He wasn’t supposed to resist the water, that’s what he always told himself, but he could do nothing else at the moment.

Haru had no idea what the man was doing to him. All he could feel was the unbearable pain and the bones of the man’s fingers. He could barely see. In fact, all he could see was a blur of bright artificial light so he closed his eyes.

His head was brought up multiples times so he could breathe but was promptly brought back down. His lungs were burning from the abuse and that was the only specific pain he could put a label to. His brain was so confused that it didn’t try to comprehend what kind of pain he was feeling and where it was. All it knew was that it was in extreme pain.

He was roughly aware that he was begging the man to let him out. Of course, the words travelled to deaf ears and the torture continued on uninterrupted. It was only when he had lost all his strength and had stopped moving that the man took him out.

It took him a few seconds to realize that he was out of the bathtub and on the floor. A shiver went through his body in relief. It still hurt but the pain was starting to subside. He was now starting to feel the cold and he curled up. Something fell in front of his face and he opened his eyes. It was the knife the man had last time.

“Here you go. You’ve done a good job feeding them, now it’s time to eat them.”

Haru wanted to stab the man with it but of course, it was impossible and just plain idiotic. He saw the man’s white shoes move before he felt he was alone again. His tears fell down the sides of his eyes and pooled under him. He closed his eyes once more, letting his emotions get the better of him as he let himself cry without resistance.

It took him two full minutes for him to be able to grab a towel and wrap himself in it. It took him even more for him to get dressed and leave the bathroom. He took a deep breath and got himself together.

He walked to the aquarium, knife in hand.

\---

Nagisa could feel some kind of physical problem coming. He could just feel it. He could also feel that he would lose his voice sometime soon. His throat was so sore and so unused that it felt like it was deteriorating. He tried to make his vocal cords work but all he heard were breaths.

That wasn’t all he felt. He felt gripping fear and dread. He was scared of not being able to walk again, or move for that matter. He wasn’t sure he would want to live if it turned out he was to be paralyzed for life.

He was also scared of the living things in his room.

At first he heard noises. High-pitched noises. It had been so long since he heard anything but hissing that he thought it was in his mind. Until he saw the pink tail anyways. His own shriek which had managed to leave his throat had both scared the mouse and himself. It started running around just as more mice invaded the room.

He wanted to faint so he wouldn’t have to deal with the fear but life was cruel and he kept staring at the rodents in his room. What really brought tears to his eyes were the things on the walls. Those black and brown things with skinny legs. _Spiders._

That was when he knew he wanted to punch that Paul guy and everyone else involved in this experiment. He wanted to beat them until they were unrecognizable. The anger was short-lived and now he was just terrified. He kept imagining a spider landing on his shoulder and crawling on his face without him being able to do anything.

The thought was so vivid and felt so real that before he knew it, warm tears were streaming down his face. He prayed to all the gods he knew for that not to happen.

He kept his eyes closed but every sound he heard, that they were real or not, made his eyes fly open. He kept staring at the spiders on the wall across from him. Every twitch of their legs, every movement they took made his heart skip a beat and more tears fall.

He was stuck in a room full of spiders, mice, and even a snake. He would do almost anything to at least be able to bang his head somewhere hard and give himself a concussion, maybe lose consciousness along the way. He knew it was unreasonable but he was certain that he would have done it if he could.

He couldn’t deal with those crawlers, he just couldn’t.

Through the suffocating fear, he found himself to be jealous. Jealous of all those scary living things. They could move anywhere they wanted. They could jump at his face without anything holding them back. They were free. They were living things.

Right now, he was highly different from them. He couldn’t move, he wasn’t free. He was no better than a lamp collecting dust on a desk.

Despite all of this, his body was still doing its job. His hair had grown so long that it was all over his face now, tickling his nose and cheeks. If he looked down, he could see that the nails of his bound hands had also grown. He was still digesting food and sweating. He still had to relieve himself all the time. Those were the only thing keeping him from being consumed by despair.

The snake suddenly caught his attention. It was slowly approaching a white mouse. Without a moment of hesitation, it wrapped itself around it with what seemed like inhuman speed. Nagisa watched as the mouse gradually stopped moving. A spark of fear ignited in his stomach. He had gotten used to the snake but now he knew why he was usually so scared of them.

A minute later, the mouse was in its mouth. It was disturbing but Nagisa couldn’t look or close his eyes. More time passed and he couldn’t see the mouse’s head anymore. He kept thinking he was the poor mouse, kept thinking of how dark, painful, and warm it would be inside the scaled creature's mouth. He couldn’t help it. Nothing was happening and his brain needed something to keep it occupied. It chose the worst thing possible.

The snake’s jaw worked and the mouse’s pink tail disappeared from sight. At that same moment, a large spider landed on the ground and started advancing toward Nagisa, stopping and moving again over and over. The snake then turned to him very slowly, its tongue moving quickly as it hissed. It started crawling toward him and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He closed his eyes, tears threatening to fall again. He wanted to walk out of this room and in result, wake up from this nightmare.

_Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out, let me move!_


	16. Makoto & Rei

Makoto didn’t know how long he had been laying down on the soft ground. He was tired and hadn’t moved much since the man had come yesterday with his belt. He wasn't even sure it was yesterday. This allowed for more than enough time to listen to the song on an endless loop. It had been in his head when he was solving those math problems but he had never paid attention to the meaning behind the words.

Now that he had, he disliked the song even more. It told the story of a little boy and his eight loyal dogs stuck in an endless loop. Every loop, he lost a bit of sanity along with one of his dogs. As more of his dogs brutally died to the hands of an unknown creature chasing them and he went through more loops, he began giving up on trying to escape the loops until his hope vanished completely.

His sanity was only a little grain of sand when he had only one of his faithful dogs left. Driven by the thought that the death of the last dog would stop the endless loop, he mutilated his former friend and scattered its body parts in hopes of success. When it didn’t work, he laughed and laughed, the guilt of killing his own dog stripping him of the little sanity he had left. The song ended with the little boy searching through the loops to find his dogs’ corpses and body parts and hugging them to his chest saying “you’re still with me. I’m not alone” as the thing that had been chasing him lurks behind him.

The more he listened, the more he saw signs of the little boy’s declining sanity. It was terrifying to imagine a little boy killing his own dog and laughing with his clothes drenched in blood. The white of his room made his mind  go on a trip fillef with vivid and clear imagery.

He didn’t need to know how the loops felt like, his mind made it up for him. He kept imagining that he was walking in a forest while someone, or _something_ , stalked him, killing his dogs one by one and then killing him in the most brutal, painful way. It was frightening and he didn’t want to think of it any further.

He forced himself to get up and walked over to the bathroom despite the pain in his thighs. As he walked to the toilet, he saw his reflection in the mirror and stopped dead in his tracks.

It was surprising how much he had changed in the past days. He had become skinnier because of all the meals he had missed. His hair had grown several inches and so had his nails. His eyes were dull and under them were dark eye bags. His skin had paled down several tones, probably from the lack of sunlight and malnutrition.

The worst were the red marks scattered everywhere on his skin. They contrasted with the white of his skin and stood out. They stung when he touched them. He turned around and looked at his back. As expected, it was worse off than any other part. He could even see that some skin had peeled off and he grimaced in pain.

His thoughts went to the others as he left the bathroom.

_Do they look like that? I don’t know if I could bear to see any of them like this._

He sat down across from the front door, making sure his back didn’t touch the wall.

_“I have news for you Makoto.”_

He jumped slightly at the voice and looked up.

_“Your parents have generously handed over your siblings to help us in this project.”_

Makoto’s breath caught in his throat and he had to swallow to breathe again. A knot formed in his stomach and he grabbed at his clothes.

“Are you serious?” he whispered in disbelief.

_“I am. We gave them a hefty sum for helping humanity. You truly have good parents, Makoto.”_

Makoto was shaking his head with energy. His parents wouldn’t hand _them_ over. Not them. They weren’t even teenagers yet. He couldn’t help but feel bitter and betrayed.

_How could they do this?_

“What are you going to do them? You’re not hurting them, are you?” he almost shoutef.

He heard a noise coming from Paul.

_“They will have a similar experience to you. They are separated though so they will have slightly different trials to go through. We won’t kill them, we promise.”_

Makoto’s worry grew even more. Those two were nearly always together and now they were forcefully separated. He didn’t know what to think. He didn't know what to believe. All he knew was that he felt powerless. He couldn’t help them or anyone for that matter. He just looked down at the white ground.

_“Now, do you want to know how your friends are doing?”_

His grip on his shirt tightened. He wanted to know but at the same time he was terrified to know. Paul continued when he didn’t answer.

_“They are all alive, I assure you. They aren’t in their best condition though. They’re in a bit of pain. You aren’t the only one suffering, Makoto.”_

Those words didn’t make reassuee him at all.

_“Tell me, Makoto. Would you willingly earn more pain to keep some off the others? Would you sacrifice yourself for your friends and siblings?”_

He didn’t like the question because right now, he didn’t know. Before all this, he would have said yes without much hesitation. Now that he had felt all this pain and fear, he couldn’t decide immediately and it felt like he was betraying all of them.

_“I asked Haruka and he immediately said he would.”_

Makoto looked up quickly, eyes wide.

_Haru said yes so fast? And I’m still hesitating?_

A wave of guilt washed over him and he lowered his head in shame.

_“He will receive more pain from now on.”_

Makoto’s mouth opened to disapprove of this but all that left his mouth was a quiet “no”. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t sacrifice himself for the others. He brought his hand to his face just as the door opened. Makoto slowly took his hands away from his face and looked up.

The man who he now dreaded to see had entered the room, belt in hand.

\---

Like the previous two times, Rei was bandaged and in pain and food had been left for him when he woke up. It had been more than a day since he ate and he was now starving, something he was getting used to. He was also trying to get used to his smell but it had changed. Now the scent of blood mingled along with other smells and made it even worst. It had also dried and he felt even dirtier.

That wasn’t the worst of his situation though. The Shocking Circles, as he had chosen to call them, were relentless. He hadn’t found sleep in days because of the endless shocks and he just wanted to be drugged so he could sleep through all this pain.

He decided to try to move so he didn’t have to feel the urge to sleep so strongly. His legs were heavy and his movements were sluggish. He could barely walk but he was determined to reach his small goal: reaching the bathroom. It seemed like there was some kind of ventilation in the bathroom because it didn’t smell for days like he had dreaded.

His feet were shocked even has he walked to it and he almost gave up a few times. He leaned on the wall when he did reach it. He removed his glasses and looked at himself in the mirror.

Of course, he couldn’t see clearly but he could feel his bangs tickling his nose since the glasses weren’t there to support them. He rubbed his eyes and put his glasses back on. He looked terrible. The pale skin and large bags under his eyes stood out. What stood out the most though were the bruises and cuts on his face. He had learned that the strange metal weapon wasn’t the only thing used by his man. He had quite a lot of marks on his face and body and they certainly weren’t beautiful to look at.

He closed his eyes.

“So this mirror is there so I can see how miserable I look,” he muttered to himself.

His eyes moved to the toilet. His mind had started derailing for a while now. He was almost tempted to use the water from the toilet to wash all the dried blood away but what left of his rational mind told him it was ridiculous and that he wasn’t even that desperate.

His tired mind started thinking of a whole selection of things that could be dumped on him that would successfully make him desperate enough to want to use that toilet water. He bit his lip and shook his head.

_“What were you thinking of doing, Rei?”_

He looked away from the toilet and realized that he had been called Rei.

_Since when has he been calling me like this?_

He was too tired to find an explanation.

"Do you mind telling me why I’m getting beaten up every three days? It's not even punishment, just plain torture. Shouldn't there be some kind of reason?" he asked Paul.

It didn’t sound like it but he was actually scared of even thinking about those “visits”. He knew his next one was coming soon and he couldn’t stop feeling anxious.

_"There is a reason."_

That was all Rei got for an answer. He sighed quietly and went back to lying down since he had already used up most of his energy. Lying down was one big mistake.

He was soon in pain. In serious pain in fact. The agony was so great that he remained curled up on his side, tears spilling from his eyes restlessly. He was so fatigued that he couldn’t even sit up. All he could manage was to raise his upper body, his elbow doing all the supporting. His glasses were dirty and blurry so he took them off and threw them in frustration at the painting on the wall that bothered him so much.

They bounced off of it and landed on the ground. It wasn’t like he needed them. There was nothing to see in this empty, silent white room. Nothing at all and it bothered him.

His elbowed abandonned him and his head fell back down to the floor. He endured the pain, his tears forming a growing puddle under him.


	17. Rin & Nitori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin, I'm so sorry. I love you!

Rin’s body was shaking and burning with exhaustion. He could barely move. He couldn’t do it today either. He couldn’t hold out until the desired time. He wasn’t even sure there was a desired time. He just liked to think there was and that was one of the reasons he still tried so hard.

Another reason was that he dreaded the breaks he requested.

He had all sorts of marks on his body to show what those breaks have been doing to him. He could see them in the dim lighting of his room. There were burn marks, cuts and bruises among others. They all hurt and he hated seeing them on his own body. They were disinfected and taken care of if needed but they still hurt and made him feel uncomfortable by just glancing at them.

He was now on the floor, his shaking arms supporting him and his long hair hiding his face. He didn’t want to see the man’s face. Through all the abuse, he came to fear that man. The man who was always smiling despite his eyes showing no joy. The man who caused him so much pain. The man who touched him without constraints. He hated him with a passion but fear won out in the end and he didn't fight back.

He didn’t know how long all of this had been going on since he hadn’t bothered to count. He just knew he wanted it to end.

“Come here, Rin.”

He swallowed hard. He didn’t make a move-didn’t make any sign of acknowledgment. He didn’t want to be near that man. He was determined to stay away from him the longest he could manage. He heard him sigh and he prepared both his body and mind for the shock.

He knew it was coming but it hurt and surprised him nonetheless. He pulled on the collar and lowered his head even more. His lips pulled apart but no sound escaped them. He only groaned when it was brought two levels higher in terms of power. He had no idea how all the shocks he received didn't have lasting effect on his body. He heard his man hum.

“So you’d rather get shocked than come to me,” he heard him say in his usual soft voice.

He heard footsteps coming toward him and he gripped the collar even harder, his heart beating hard against his ribs. His man crouched in front of him but he didn’t raise his head. The shock stopped just before a handful of his hair was grabbed and his head was yanked up. Still, Rin didn’t look at him.

“Why is that, puppy? You’re in pain either way, are you not?”

He hated the name he had given him. He wasn’t even a dog, he was a _puppy_. This man was seriously deranged and sadistic.

Rin found enough energy and courage to glare at him. He gasped when he was slapped across the face. He felt warm liquid slide down his cheek and he remembered the knife that was held to his face yesterday. A cut had probably opened up.

He didn’t glare at him again. Instead, he looked at the floor. His hair was pulled on and he winced.

“Look at me.”

His tone made Rin’s eyes move by themselves. He didn’t look angry. In fact, Rin had no idea what the man was feeling. He was unreadable. The man’s eyes flicked to his own before he lowered his head out of sight. His head was yanked to the side and he felt hot breath on his neck.

“Don’t you dare move.”

Rin closed his eyes just as teeth dug into skin. He kept his jaw set as the man chewed on his neck and he felt the warm tongue slide across his skin. It wasn’t the first time and previous injuries opened up, making blood slide down to his collarbones.

He hated this kind of abuse the most. Through however many days he had endured this, he already knew this was the worst. There was so much human contact, he hated it. He was just kicked around and burned the other times but it wasn't as often as this nearly sexual abuse.

He had fought against it the first time but now he knew better. He didn’t like being subdued by pain like some slave but pain was something unbearable and efficient in bringing down anyone no matter who that person was.

He was effortlessly pushed to the ground. The chewing and biting changed places and nails began ti forcefully scrap his skin. He knew he lost a good amount of blood because of all this. The wounds stung and everything was just uncomfortable. He didn't have much energy since he didn't eat normally and he was running all the time. He opened his eyes when he stopped feeling anything. The man was looking at him with a smile and his eyes moved away by themselves.

“You’re so obedient today, good boy.”

His head was caressed and he bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. He turned his head away and even swatted the man’s hand away. He couldn’t stand those kind of gestures you would do to a domestic animal. He was kneed in the abdomen for his troubles and he coughed. The knee dug into his torso. He blinked the incoming tears away.

“I’m going to kill you,” Rin breathed out.

There was no strength in his words. His man smiled in response.

“Not if I kill you first.”

Rin blinked and the weight was finally lifted from his upper body. He didn’t get to rest for even a second. He was pulled up by his hair and was forced on his knees. His hair fell back in his field of vision as the hand left his head. He watched that hand go to the man’s zipper and pull down everything in one swift movement.

He stared in horror before slowly looking up at his face. All he received was a smile.

“Here’s a treat. Come on, lick it boy.”

Rin couldn't think.

He didn’t even get to say anything or act before he started choking and gagging.

\---

Nitori shook his head at the man, his hands covering his mouth. His barrier of flesh was forced apart and food was shoved into his mouth. He choked and tried to spit it out but the man was much stronger and successfully made him eat the food.

His hand was back to his lips when the man left.

“I can puke it out, right?” he muttered to himself.

_“No you can’t.”_

He chewed on his lower lip.

_What is going to happen now?_

He didn’t even want to know but he was answered anyways. The drugs acted quickly. After half an hour, he started seeing strange things. Moving things.

He got up quickly, alarmed by the colorful moving figures. His heartbeat quickened when faces formed on them. Teeth and holes everywhere. That was all he could say to describe them.

He shrieked and backed up until his back hit the wall behind him. The figures weren’t even colorful anymore. They were the color of human flesh along with greens and grays. They surrounded him, their toothy faces obscuring his vision.

His knees gave out and he fell to the floor. He blinked and found himself staring at a large eye with teeth, nails, and hair coming out of it along with yellow mucous. He screamed and closed his eyes, his fingers clawing at his hair.

“It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real…”

He kept repeating those same three words but when he opened his eyes once again, it became even worst. The eye had turned into an inhumanely wide smile with decaying teeth and bugs crawling out of it. His vision blurred and his scream caught in his throat. His heart was beating so fast and so strongly that it hurt. His breathing was coming out in short breaths, making him feel lightheaded.

He felt something like a light itch on his arms and looked down. Cockroaches and spiders. Those were the only things he saw before he got up and slapped at his arms in panic. Even after getting up and walking around, the horrifying creatures were still there. He knew they weren't real but he felt and smelled their putrid breath and saw their shadows. It looked too real for him to shrug them off. They limped over to him and he couldn't take it anymore.

“Shock me!” he cried at the ceiling.

He was back on the floor, his fingers clawing at his face.

“Let me return to reality. Please. Please. Please…” he pleaded over and over again.

He was sobbing now, his tears landing on his white pants. He would do anything to make this nightmare stop. He wasn’t given any kind of pain and he felt hands with only three fingers and what felt like teeth on his back and legs. He didn’t dare open his eyes as he felt his rash return. He scratched at his arms and face like he wanted to rip skin, which he did.

He felt warm liquid under his nails but still didn’t open his eyes. The hands gradually vanished from his body. It was replaced by burning pain. He still didn’t have the courage to open his eyes and curled up on the floor, his bloody nails and arms covering his face as the pain in his back spread to his shoulders.

_It's not over. It will never be._


	18. Sousuke & Momotarou

Sousuke grimaced when his man came in with a tray of food. He hadn’t eaten in days but it still didn’t look appetizing. Last time was decent at least. He hadn’t been left to starve.

His man left and he approached the food, eyeing it carefully. He looked for anything that moved. There wasn’t anything on his rice and he sighed in relief. His eyes turned to the container.

He couldn’t see what was inside so he opened it. The smell reached his nose and mixed in with all the other smells in his room. He gagged, a hand covering his nose and mouth. Whatever was in there smelled like vomit. Maybe it _was_ vomit.

He couldn’t help but imagine if he didn’t smell it. His own vomit would have mixed with the one in there, that was for sure. He shook his head with energy.

_What in the world are you thinking about? You’re just tired._

He closed it quickly but then thought better of it. What if his man came in and forced it down his throat?

He got up in a flash, container in hand, and went to the bathroom to dump it in the toilet and clean it, all the while keeping his nose and mouth covered.

He threw it at the ground when he was done and sat back down in front of the tray. There was a bowl of rice and a plate of green beans left on the tray. He picked up his fork and got some rice.

He nearly threw his fork when he saw the brown things on his rice. Small brown bugs were crawling around in the bowl, in and out of sight. He tried his hand with the green beans but they were even worst. Ants came out when he opened one of them and he dropped the fork, giving up.

He pushed the tray away with his foot and leaned on the wall with a loud sigh.

_“You’re trying to starve yourself, Sousuke?”_

Paul chuckled when Sousuke didn’t answer.

_“You might not get another meal in days, you know.”_

Sousuke stared at the tray and his stomach protested.

_Maybe I could wash it?_

He was barely done with that thought when his man came back and picked up the food. He sighed again and lied down on the floor.

_“We know what you’re thinking, Sousuke. You either eat it like that or you don’t eat anything at all. Make your choice now.”_

Sousuke just looked at the man and the latter looked right back at him. When Sousuke didn’t say anything, he left with the tray, not without a quick glance at the clock. His brain barely registered that action. His stomach was killing him but he wasn’t going to eat bugs just yet, especially not living bugs.

As he lied there, he started feeling the weight of his weakness. He had no control over the lights, sounds, and smells in his room. He had no control over what he ate. He had no control over his sleep either. But worst was that he had no control over all the tortures everyone was going through.

Paul hadn’t told him directly what was happening to the others but he knew it was nothing good. He was worried about all of them, especially Rin. He knew Rin. He knew how prideful and stubborn Rin could be. This meant he was probably in more pain than anyone else.

He would have asked what was being done to him but he honestly didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to have another thing to worry about. He was already extremely worried about him and if he knew what was truly happening to him, he would start feeling even more useless and powerless since he wouldn't be able to do anything to help.

So he just closed his eyes and hoped the days he had left would just pass by quickly.

\---

Momotarou kept hearing noises but he could see nothing in the darkness of his room. He felt touches and heard footsteps but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t touch whoever was touching him. Was there even someone?

The darkness suddenly lifted and he was able to see shades of gray in his room. He could also see the black silhouette of a man right in front of him. He was so surprised that he didn’t even make a noise. He just felt his heart stop for a second before it continued beating with a fast rhythm.

Everything felt so surreal. He couldn’t tell if the man was real or not. He let out a sharp breath when hands landed on his shoulder and nails dug into his skin. The light shifted and he could finally see his face.

He didn’t know him and he was glad he didn't. He looked terrifying. His face was deformed and his left eye was forced closed. The right eye was gleaming like he wasn’t even human. He could feel warm breath on his face.

“You’ll become just like me.”

The voice was so quiet that Momotarou didn’t even know if he had really heard it or not. The hands on his shoulder vanished and darkness came back. Not fast enough for him to miss the glistening smile. He suddenly felt sharp pain everywhere and he gasped in surprise and pain.

A few seconds passed before the dim light returned to the room. He panted and looked around, expecting to see something. His eyes soon lowered to his own body. He diverted his attention away from the cuts on his body to look up at the open door and the familiar man.

He was ready to be grabbed and dragged to the shackles but only the grabbing part happened. He was forced to get up and walk. He was blinded by the white light as he stepped foot outside of his room for the first time since he had first entered it. He squinted for half a minute before he could fully open his eyes. Everything was white just like his room but at least he wasn’t in darkness.

“Where are you taking me? What are you going to do to me?” Momotarou yelled at the man as he pulled him across the hallway.

He received no response and was shoved into a room instead. Inside was a metal table and surgical equipment and tools. He shrieked and turned around but the man was already keeping him from leaving.

He was pushed on the table and strapped down tightly. That was when he noticed there was someone on the other table. It was a little kid who was probably in elementary school. He looked as terrified as Momotarou felt. He didn’t know the kid but he felt extremely bad for him.

He would have talked to him if Paul hadn’t started speaking first.

_“You two will now be of use to us in a different way. You both watched the video on sewing humans together right? We’re here to do our own experiment. You have a 28% chance of survival but I have hope it will go well."_

The kid broke down in tears and Momotarou had tears of his own in his eyes. He wanted to comfort the kid but he had nothing comforting to say. He felt they were both going to die. There was nothing he could say to make iminent death better.

“Are you serious?" Momotarou yelled at the ceiling. "You kidnap kids for experiments that go against human rights? You’re all insane!”

_“We didn’t kidnap you. You were given to us by your parents. Now, let the surgery begin.”_

People in white garb surrounded him and he screamed at them, all the while trying to tear the straps off. An oxygen mask was placed over his mouth and nose and he tried his best not to breathe but he was only human.

He heart began beating even faster as he started feeling light-headed. He was so scared. He was scared for his life and scared of what was coming. He knew he would be in pain. His fear was so great that he would do anything to stop this. He couldn’t even speak. He could do nothing to change his fate. He had never been so terrified in his now ending life.

He turned his head to the side as his consciousness slipped away. Scared but dull gray eyes looked right back at him before everything turned to black.


	19. Visits #1 MakoHaru & SouRin

It was interesting to see how the boys acted after six whole weeks of confinement and torture. The thing they all had in common was that they had softened up. They were all mostly tired, hungry, and weak. That was the perfect time for them to see each other.

Paul looked down at his paper.

“Okay, it’s time for their visits. I assume you know what to do.”

The men all nodded. Paul looked over at one of them. He looked tired and he had guilt in his eyes. The others looked the same but he seemed to be more affected than the rest.

“Hayate.”

The man looked up.

“You’re doing this for humanity. Don’t forget.”

The man blinked in surprise and nodded. They all left the room in an instant. Paul turned around and looked down at the pile of paper near the microphone and the various buttons. He read his words over and let out a deep breath. He leaned forward, pressed a button and spoke.

“You won’t be visited by your men today. This will be the only time you will see each other until the end of this project.”

All the boys except for Nagisa looked up at the ceiling at the sound of his voice and he sat down on his chair, his eyes on the screen.

\---

Makoto, Sousuke, and Nitori all got out of their room at the same time. Their eyes widened when they saw each other. Everyone seemed to have gone through endless trials. Makoto had red marks and peeling skin on his face and body while Sousuke had large bags under his eyes and seemed to have lost a good amount of weight. His partly visible shoulder was slightly colored which contrasted with all the white.

Nitori just looked unstable and skinny. What drew the attention of the other two were the scratch marks all over his body and the fact that he had less hair now.

They all had a common feeling. They looked miserable and the other had to see them in such a state. They were also all worried about each other. They couldn’t even imagine what the other was going though. Nobody said anything in a mutual fear that they weren’t supposed to.

Makoto looked at the other rooms and started feeling uneasy. Neither Rei nor Nagisa was here. He was worried about his friends but he didn’t want to speak to his man. He didn’t know what would happen to him if he asked. Just the hand around his arm made him tremble despite himself.

Sousuke saw the clear worry on Makoto’s face and asked the question he wanted to ask with a bit of effort.

“What happened to the other two? Shouldn’t one of them be here?” He asked slowly, his voice weak.

Nitori’s eyes stopped moving around and focused on his former teammate. Sousuke’s man smiled and the three started really worrying about the two missing boys. Makoto was chewing on his lips as he was taken away.

He convinced himself that they were alive, just not in a condition to move. Even that thought was terrifying and his chewing drew blood. He started thinking of his two little siblings and he overcame his fear to ask about them.

“My two siblings are fine, right? Won’t I be able to see them?” He asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

His man turned around to look at him and Makoto swallowed hard.

“They’re alive.”

That was all he said to him as they continued walking. They finally stopped in front of the many white doors in the hallway. Only one thought came to Makoto’s head.

_There are people in the same situation as us in those rooms._

The door was opened and he was pushed inside the room. The first things he noticed was the cold and the aquarium across from him. Beside it was a tall pot. There were fish bones and skin on the ground below it along with a dozen of plastic bottles. Makoto frowned and looked around. He jumped when he realized Haru was only a few feet away from him.

His head was lowered and he was dripping wet. His arms and legs were visibly shaking and Makoto could hear sniffles coming from him. He couldn’t even see his friend’s face through the long, wet bangs.

He kneeled down in front of him and took hold of his trembling shoulders.

“Haru? Haru it’s me, Makoto. Are you okay?”            

Haru slowly looked up and both pairs of eyes widened at the sight of the other’s face. Haru looked so _weak._ His once brilliant blue eyes looked as dark as the ocean during a storm. His lips were purple and trembling and his skin was even paler than his. It hurt to see Haru look so miserable.

“Makoto?” Haru let out quietly.

Makoto nodded. When he brought his hands up to touch Haru’s face, he was surprised by how cold it was. Another strange thing was that Haru was making no move to take his hands away. He knew Haru didn’t like human contact like he did.

“Are you okay?”

Makoto blinked when Haru asked this. Haru’s eyes weren’t in his own anymore. They were moving from mark to mark and getting bigger as they went. Makoto had so much to add to his answer. His man, the belt, the math problems, his siblings; he had so many reasons not to be okay, but Makoto forced himself to smile at his trembling friend.

“I’m fine.” He answered though his voice was weak.

Haru could see the hurt in his friend’s eyes. Makoto was forcing himself to smile, even in a moment like this.

Makoto thought back to what Paul had said days ago. Haru was receiving more pain to keep some off the others while he hadn’t spoken up to protest or to sacrifice himself instead. Even now, he couldn’t ask him directly. It was obvious Haru was going through a lot.

“And you? Are you okay? Are you in pain?” He asked in a soft voice like he was talking to a child.

He heard a shaky breath leave Haru’s quivering lips instead of an answer. His eyes watered without warning and large tears started falling down his cheeks and down Makoto’s hands. Haru’s face turned a dark shade of pink and loud convulsive gasps escaped him.

Makoto stared with wide eyes as his usually emotionless friend broke down in front of him. He felt Haru’s hands on his chest and when he looked down, he noticed that the tip of his fingers were red and soft.

“I’m so tired, Makoto…” Haru breathed out between gasps. “The water…it’s attacking me. It hurts so much. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I just want it to end. Help me, Makoto…”

Makoto didn’t know what to do or say for a moment. He felt fingers grip onto his shirt weakly and the pain the rubbing on his wounds was causing him made him act. He lowered his hands to take Haru’s cold ones and squeezed just as Haru’s forehead landed on his chest.

He was about to say something when hands grabbed his shoulders and he jumped. His man had come back for him and was forcing him to get up.

“It’s time for your punishment.” He announced.

Those words made Makoto’s heartbeat pick up and Haru could hear it since he was so close to his heart. Makoto let out a subduded whimper as he weakly struggled to get away from his man.

“Wait! Just a minute, please!” He pleaded.

The fear was so clear in his voice that Haru’s heartbeat picked up because of that same fear. He could feel Makoto’s fright as his own. Haru jumped when Makoto was slapped hard. His friend started apologizing over and over again in response. Haru stared at him, surprised by how Makoto had changed.

Makoto looked back at Haru as he was dragged away.

The last thing the two saw of each other was a wet and red face and a face filled with terror.

\---

Sousuke entered Rin’s room and saw him lying on the floor, a mess of long hair hiding his face. As he walked over to him, he saw a variety of marks on the visible skin. It was only when he was on his knees beside him that Sousuke could see that he was shaking. It was cold in the room and he assumed he was shivering.

Rin twitched when Sousuke touched his shoulder.

“Rin.” He called out.

Rin only moved the slightest bit. Sousuke thought back to Paul’s words about how he wasn’t in his normal state. He used what little strength he had to pull Rin up into a sitting position. Even now, he could only see glimpses of his friend’s face. Sousuke wanted to know how Rin was doing.

He felt Rin shaking under his hand as he pushed the messy burgundy hair away from his face with his other hand. Sousuke blinked in surprise. Rin looked like he had become younger and older at the same time. The big, puffy eyes that refused to look at him was that of a child’s but the large eye bags, the thin face and everything else made it seem like he had aged a few years. It was bothering Sousuke how Rin refused to look at him.

_Why won’t he look at me?_

“Rin, look at me.”

It wasn’t even an order, it was just a request, but Rin obeyed in a flash. Sousuke blinked again, surprised at the reaction. Rin’s eyes lowered again and went back up to observe his friend. Sousuke looked terrible with his tired face and evident weight loss but Rin was selfishly jealous. He didn’t seem to be as bad off as he was.

_Oh my God, I’m awful. What kind of friend am I?_

His eyes lowered again in shame and hands took hold of his shoulders.

“What happened to you Rin? You aren’t saying anything at all…”

His voice trailed off when he saw Rin’s face. His big red eyes were full of fear and he was shaking uncontrollably under Sousuke’s hands.

Sousuke noticed the way his lips, especially the lower one, seemed to have been chewed on a lot and were even swollen like they were used a lot. His neck was even worst with the shades of red he saw scattered about. His hair also seemed to have been pulled out a couple of times but it was only noticeable because he was so close.

He looked down and he saw even more injuries ranging from scratches to bruises. The tip of his fingers were shredded with what could only be teeth and the rest of his hands were obviously burned multiple times. He could even see where some skin had been peeled off. His clothes were also dirty with what Sousuke could only guess were bodily fluids. All the signs assembled together made him understand Rin’s situation and he looked at his friend in horror.

He didn’t take off his hands from his shoulders because he knew it would hurt Rin’s feelings. Instead, he squeezed.

“Rin…”

His tone was very different from the first time he had said his friend’s name. Now his voice was full of concern. Rin’s eyes started to water and Sousuke wiped his tears with his sleeve.

He heard footsteps and he turned to see. A man came in, a small smile on his lips. Only when Sousuke looked back at Rin did he understand that this man was the one responsible for his miserable state.

Rin was genuinely scared of that man and the man knew it. Rin was shaking again and by the way he was holding himself, he wanted protection. Sousuke was pulled up by his man before he could give any.

The smiling man crouched down beside Rin. The latter winced when the man’s arm wrapped around his shoulders but he didn’t try to push it away. The way Rin was hiding his neck, turning his face away, and holding on to himself hurt Sousuke to the core.

“Don’t worry, this little pup here will be taken care of by me.” He told Sousuke.

Sousuke was staring at Rin with big eyes.

“Pup…?” He repeated.

He was ignored.

“Right, puppy?” The man said into Rin’s ear.

Rin’s tears spilled over and he didn’t dare look up at his friend. He nodded and Sousuke’s eyes widened even more.

“What?” Sousuke nearly shouted.

Rin flinched at the sound of his voice and Sousuke was just speechless.

The prideful Rin he knew would have said something back for sure. Now he was just obedient and submissive. It disturbed Sousuke to no ends.

He was dragged away to the door and Rin finally looked up at him. His face was red and tears were steadily streaming down his face. He really did look like a child.

“Help me, Sousuke!” He cried, his voice hoarse from who knows what.

Sousuke’s heart clenched at the sight of his crying friend.

“Rin!”

But the door was closed and Sousuke was dragged away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez, I would be as disturbed and shocked as Sousuke.


	20. Visits #2 Reigisa & Momotori

Rei’s man finally came for the visit Paul was talking about. As he walked, constant but bearable shocks were given to him through his collar. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

_Why can’t I have a break?_

He was taken to Nagisa’s room. He gasped when he saw him.

Nagisa was in a strange metal coffin against the wall and it was obvious he couldn’t move an inch. He was clean except for his wet pants. This reminded him of his own hygiene and he started wondering if he should really approach him.

Rei was worried about the living things in the room. Rei wasn’t particularly scared of any of them but Nagisa _was_ and that was probably why they were here. He was wary of the snake but it didn’t seem to have hurt Nagisa and he had a feeling that the Toe Labs staff really weren’t aiming to kill them.

Rei made his decision. Rei crouched down in front of his blond friend and brought a hand to his head.

“How cruel.” He muttered.

Nagisa slowly opened his eyes and Rei got so scared that he became speechless. His eyes were so dull and devoid of life. They had lost all their brilliance and now those magenta eyes looked the same as the eyes of a dead fish. Those eyes didn’t belong to someone who wanted to live.

His eyes brightened up and focused when he saw Rei. He blinked a few times and moaned at him. Rei recognized that tone of voice. It was hope. Hope that Rei would save him. Rei grabbed Nagisa’s shoulders and squeezed.

“I’m so sorry, Nagisa-kun.”

Nagisa blinked and moved his lips but of course, Rei wouldn’t understand anything. His voice sounded strange, almost unfamiliar to Nagisa’s unused ears. He was glad to hear some noise, especially his friend’s voice and not the squeaks and hisses from the animals in his room. He was also glad to smell something other than his own urine. It was strange, but Nagisa was glad he could smell his friend.

He had to admit he was embarrassed that his pants were soaked and that Rei was there to see that. Rei had barely looked at it though. His eyes were on his face now.

He moaned again. His tone told Rei that it was fine. Rei’s grip tightened and he looked down, biting his lip. Nagisa hummed and Rei looked back. Nagisa looked right into his eyes and the two stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, trying to understand the other.

Another moan from Nagisa made him understand what he was asking. The lens of his glasses had cracks of various lengths on them.

“My glasses?” Rei guessed.

Nagisa hummed in approval. Rei forced himself to give Nagisa a small smile.

“They broke a couple of days ago when I kept throwing them at the wall. Well, they’ve gone through a lot too…”

He thought back to all the time he had been hit in the face and how many times his glasses had been on the receiving end. The memories made his hands tighten on Nagisa’s shoulders. He gasped when he realized that his long nails were digging into Nagisa’s shoulders. He quickly took his hands away.

He hadn’t noticed, yet Nagisa didn’t make a sound to make him stop. Nagisa actually seemed to enjoy it. Rei frowned and Nagisa looked away and brought his eyes back to Rei. He was now staring at the various injuries on his face and Rei turned away. A whine forced him to turn back.

“I’m fine.”

He wasn’t and it was obvious Nagisa knew that. Even now he was in pain from both the shocks and the various injuries he had. The look of extreme sympathy Nagisa gave him made his eyes fill with tears and he tried to blink them away but with no success. His tears were falling so easily these past days that he couldn’t even hold them back anymore.

It seemed his tears were contagious because tears rolled down Nagisa’s cheeks and fell on his bound hands. It had been so long since Nagisa had cried like this. The most he had done the past days were two or three tears. It was like all the tears he had held in were escaping now.

Rei watched Nagisa close his eyes as more tears streamed down his face. He went and took his bound hands as his own tears freely streamed down his face. Nagisa’s crying was usually loud like a little kid, but now it was almost silent. Rei wanted him to sob loudly. This silence wasn’t like him.

Nagisa opened his eyes and looked up. Rei followed his gaze and even more tears fell. His man was back.

“Get up, we’re leaving.”

Rei was kicked in the back and Nagisa whined in response. Rei squeezed Nagisa’s hands and he was kicked again so he got up. Rei wiped his face as he was pulled by his shirt.

“We’ll get out of here!” He exclaimed. “We’re going to move around, screaming our hearts out!”

He got hit in the shoulder and he gasped.

“No you won’t.” The man replied.

Rei didn’t have the courage or faith to protest and he was led away.

\---

Momotarou’s room made Nitori uneasy. The shackles, the TV, the cameras; none of them looked good. Momotarou was in a corner, his face buried in his knees and his arms wrapped around his abdomen like it hurt. He looked like a scared little boy. Nitori walked heavily so Momotarou heard him.

“Momotarou?” He called out.

The mess of orange hair moved and golden eyes looked up at him. Nitori stopped walking when he saw them. Those golden eyes were wary. They were telling him to stay away. Nitori swallowed and Momotarou blinked a few times. The hostility was soon gone but he was still wary. Nitori kneeled a few feet away from him.

“Nitori-senpai? Is that really you?” Momotarou asked as he uncurled himself and sat on his knees.

Nitori was surprised of the question. He hadn’t seen real people in a long time yet Momotarou was asking this to him. He should have been asking this. He was quite happy to see a real person who he could talk to unlike his man.

“Why would you ask that? Of course it’s me.” He said to him.

Momotarou slowly got closer to Nitori until they were a foot away. That was when the two could really observe each other.

Momotarou noticed Nitori’s pale skin and the scars on his senpai’s hands. He looked up to look at him in the eyes. He noticed how wide and twitchy his blue eyes were. How there were various scratches on his face. How much less hair he had. How terrible and unstable he looked.

It was scary.

Nitori noticed Momotarou’s eyes were red like he had stayed up all night watching TV and he was trembling like he was cold. His pupils were small like there was too much light and he had obviously lost weight.

That was when Momotarou’s face started twisting. His eyes were falling out and his nose was melting. His hair were turning a strange color. His skin was decomposing and Nitori could see the bones underneath.

_Oh my God._

He had to check if this was real. He brought a shaky hand to Momotarou’s cheek and the latter jumped with a yelp, making Nitori jump too. Momotarou’s eyes were wide but they were back to their respective places. Nitori grabbed his shirt and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry…” Momotarou let out.

Nitori shook his head slightly.

He saw the shackles from the corner of his eye and looked at them. He must have made a strange face because an equaly strange sound left Momotarou’s lips.

Nitori looked back at him to see wide eyes.

“They’re crazy.” He whispered.

His hands went to his abdomen again and Nitori noticed the cuts on his fingers and palms.

“They’re torturing little kids. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. They’re going to kill us all.”

His voice was a harsh but quiet whisper, like he was scared someone would hear him. Nitori let out a quiet breath and placed his hands on Momotarou’s scarred ones. Momotarou twitched in response but he soon realized this was the best kind of contact he had felt in days. He was used to the manhandling done by his man to get him into the shackles.

“Don’t think about it, Momotarou. You’ll only hurt yourself even more. You’re alive now, aren’t you? Just think of the present for now. We’ll get out of this place in the future.” Nitori said softly.

Nitori blinked when Momotarou’s forehead landed on his neck. Neither moved. Momotarou was so warm, making the scratches on his neck pleasantly heat up. That was when he realized he missed human contact. His man barely touched him. Nitori closed his eyes.

“I’m scared…” Momotarou breathed out. “I’m really scared. I don’t want to die. I don’t want anybody to die.”

He felt warm tears on the scratches that littered his neck. They slid down his shoulder and unto his shirt. Nitori brought his arms up to Momotarou’s back and head. They stayed like this for a moment before Momotarou spoke up.

“You’ve been hurting yourself, haven’t you?”

The hands on Momotarou’s back tightened.

“Don’t worry about me.” Nitori said hurriedly.

Momotarou pulled away and looked at his senpai. The two stared at each other, assessing each other’s situation.

“Everyone’s alive, right?” Momotarou asked.

Nitori looked down.

“I don’t know…” Nitori whispered. “Nagisa-kun and Ryugazaki-san, they weren’t there when I got out of my room.”

Momotarou stared at him but he didn’t look up. They both jumped when they heard footsteps. Nitori was pulled up without effort.

“Ah, what, wait! So soon?” Nitori yelled as his man pulled on him.

He was next to the door in an instant.

“Momo!” Nitori called out.

Momotarou’s eyes widened before he looked at the closed door, his eyes vacant and his arms around himself.


	21. (Stage 3) Haru & Nagisa

Haru noticed that his chest felt a bit lighter than usual. He suspected his short talk with Makoto two weeks ago did something good to him. Maybe it was the fact that he knew his best friend was alive. Or maybe because he had told him how he felt. Either way, he wasn’t as bad as he would be if that visit hadn’t happened.

Now, he really wanted to see him.

He was being taken to another room. Haru didn’t exactly want to admit it but he had really gotten used to his room even though it was so white and he had a multitude of bad memories in it. He was still familiar with it.

They entered a room and Haru bit his lip. A few feet away was what seemed to be a life-size aquarium. He could smell the chlorine from here. It was a familiar scent that he hadn’t smelled in days, maybe even months, but it wasn’t comforting now. It was just making him uneasy.

Inside it were what looked like dead fish. He thought back to all the fish he had killed and eaten and it made him uncomfortable.

Only when they were right on top, at the edge, did Haru resist. He hadn’t seen the shark from where he was earlier. It wasn’t a real shark though. The red lights he had for eyes told him so.

_“Don’t worry, you probably won’t die in there.”_

Haru jumped at the voice. He hadn’t heard Paul in so long that the sudden sound from the speakers caught him by surprise. He was usually immune to getting scared of his voice.

_“You will stay in there all day until it’s time for you to sleep. The shark isn’t real but it will hurt you. Your job is to get all three orbs the shark is protecting. Only when you get the three will this trial be over. Oh, and you can’t keep an orb when you go to sleep. Throw him in, Dave.”_

He had no time to prepare himself for the cold water. The water surprised him but his body soon got used to it since his room was so cold. When he got his head up to the surface, his man was gone.

He covered his nose when he started smelling the dead fish right beside his head. He pushed it away and looked down. The shark was staring right at him, making him catch his breath.

The shark made him think of Rin which made him think of the others. He realized he hadn’t thought of them at all and started feeling guilty. The shark’s sharp teeth made him remember he had serious things to worry about right now. He took a deep breath and dived in.

It had been a long time since he last swam so it felt almost surreal. He moved down, his eyes on the shark the whole time.

Suddenly, the lights turned off and he was enveloped in darkness. His heart clenched in surprise and he gasped involuntarily. He started panicking as revolting water filled his mouth. It took him a second for him to react and start swimming to the surface, all the while looking around for glowing red lights. When he saw them, his heart skipped a bit and he hurried even more. He gasped loudly when he finally did reach the surface. He coughed and tried to silence himself in fear that the shark would come to him.

He stared down at darkness, the only sound in the room being his panting which sounded extremely loud to him. The complete darkness made him imagine things. What if instead of swimming up, he had been swimming in a completely different direction? What if the shark bit him right when the lights turned off as he was panicking? His mind made images to add to those horrifying thoughts.

Those thoughts brought so much fear in him that he gripped his shirt over his heart, tears forming in his eyes. His heartbeat and his panting was the only thing he could hear and it scared him to no end. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Makoto…”

It was barely audible but it sounded louder than it should in the silent room. Haru wanted to see his friend again. He wanted to stay with him. Makoto was always there with him. Haru wasn’t usually the one trembling in fear but now he just wanted someone to comfort him. More tears formed when his rational mind enforced the fact that it wasn’t going to happen.

He gripped on to the edge of the aquarium with all his strength. He wasn’t going anywhere until the lights were on. He would die from his own fear otherwise.

\---

Nagisa’s eyes followed the running mice. It was the only kind of entertainment he had.

At some point, his body had become sort of numb. All he felt were pricks and needles, not even slight pain. The numbing must have gone to his brain because he wasn’t scared of the living things in his room anymore, he was just jealous. He almost hoped the snake would bite him to make him feel something.

Nagisa couldn’t help but think of himself as a caged animal. He was just a little rabbit that was watched for entertainment. Like an animal, he was fed and relieved himself without caring at all. He couldn’t move at all so he guessed he was worth even less than a caged animal. His tired mind didn’t really know what he was then, but he knew he would find out eventually.

Rei had said that they would leave this place and walk around, screaming their hearts out, but Nagisa couldn’t believe that. He had no faith and Rei didn’t have much back then either. He just had to deal with his life now.

His ears were ringing and it was annoying but at some point, Nagisa’s brain had gotten used to it. Paul didn’t speak to him anymore and the animals in his room didn’t make much noise. He would have moaned, even hummed a song, but his throat was constantly sore from the tube feeding.

He also started seeing strange things. Sometimes, he saw mosquitoes on the mice and spiders but they disappeared as soon as they moved. He even heard buzzing in his ears sometimes, like there was a bug. Of course, buzzing and mosquitoes didn’t go together. Nagisa would have laughed at his confused brain if he could.

He barely raised his eyes when the door opened and his man came in. He had the usual syringe with him. He didn’t give any warning when the needle was inserted into his skin. After the drug took effect, he was picked up and brought to the bathroom.

He used to speak a lot since it was the only time he could talk and beg the man to help him. Now he just stayed quiet and moved his lips. He didn’t even say anything when the water was too hot. He didn’t care anymore and neither did the man. He was actually glad for the feeling since it was refreshing and different from the perfect temperature of his room.

He made sure to stare at the man in the eyes as he wrapped a towel around him. The man did look up at him and he saw something swirling in his brown eyes but he couldn’t tell what it was. Nagisa’s eyes didn’t move as he was put back in his metal prison.

He let out a sigh through his nose and closed his eyes. He had nothing else to do or think today as usual. That was all he could do in his life now.


	22. Makoto & Rei

Makoto was glad that the punishments weren’t every day anymore. The only problem was that he was constantly anxious. When was his man going to come? He was scared even if it was to bring him his food. He had his punishment two days ago so now he was in the anxious phase.

The door opened and he gasped despite himself. The man had no belt in his hand or around his waist and Makoto relaxed somewhat. Instead, he had papers and a pencil case. Makoto panicked.

_Are they making me do more math problems? I’m going to die before I can leave this place._

He realized the pencils were colored pencils and he frowned.

_“We’ve given you something to draw with while you wait for your punishment. This was used by your siblings but they don’t need it anymore.”_

The paper and pencil case were set down on the ground and Makoto stared at it, his hands shaking.

“What does that mean?”

The man left before Paul answered.

_“They’re both alive, I assure you. Not everyone was this lucky though.”_

Makoto looked up in a flash.

“What does that mean?” He repeated. “No one died, right?” He asked, his voice full of panic.

His heart was beating even faster now. Makoto hoped that it was someone he didn’t know at least.

_“I’m sorry, Makoto. I’m afraid one of your friends passed away.”_

Makoto’s eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. He could barely wrap his mind around Paul’s words. Someone had really died?

“W-who…?” He let out.

_“At the time of your visits, Rei Ryugazaki was in a critical condition. He has now passed away from his injuries.”_

His whole body was shaking now. His lungs refused to work properly. All he could take were short, frenzied breaths. He started to sweat despite it not being hot in his room. He was even starting to become dizzy.

 _Rei died? The strong, confident Rei died? No way, just no way._   

“You’re lying, right?” He asked, his voice shaky and weak.

The door opened again and a man came in again. Makoto’s eyes became even wider and a strange sound escaped his lips. Rei was slumped over his shoulder, his clothes bloody and ripped. Red glasses were in the man’s hand. He started shaking his head with energy.

_No, no, no, no, no, no…_

He was given the glasses. Even as the man left, Makoto could only see Rei’s blue hair.

The red glasses were caked with dried blood, especially the cracked lens. There was a blue strand of hair stuck on the hinges of it and Makoto looked at it in disbelief.

_“This is your fault Makoto.”_

His grip on the glasses tightened at those words.

_“If you had accepted my offer Rei would still be with us.”_

He stared blankly at the ground.

_My fault…?_

_“The others are also in bad conditions but they are alive for now. It’s too late to make a sacrifice though. It was a one-time offer. Now, take care of Rei’s glasses for him. This is the least you can do.”_

Paul stopped talking and Makoto was left to himself.

He didn’t move for a few minutes. He kept staring at the white ground, Rei’s bloody glasses nearly breaking in his grip. All he could think was that he had killed his friend.

_Rei’s dead. Rei’s dead. Rei’s dead. Rei’s dead._

At some point, those two words changed.

_I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him._

He started laughing as he reached for a blue colored pencil. It wasn’t his usual laugh. It was breathy and low.

“I killed someone… I killed my friend.” He let out, shaking his head.

He shook his head even more and laughed again, tears forming in his eyes. He had a smile on his lips as he started drawing on the paper. The blue dog he was drawing had blood dripping from its eyes and there were multiple patches of fur missing from its blue coat. He added so much red that the blue became a secondary color. One of his tears fell on the paper and spread the red on the dog’s coat.

He drew a large X on its face before singing a single line from the song he had learned all the words to and hated.

“And man's best friend perished in an explosion of limbs and red.”

\---

When he came to, Rei felt an explosion of pain everywhere in his body and he moaned loudly. He was always waking up in pain but he never got used to it. Right now, he just wanted to go back to sleep. After a series of pained moans, he turned on his stomach and opened his eyes.

Rei realized he didn’t have his glasses anymore. Everything was blurry but he didn’t care. His glasses were cracked and dirty anyways. He pushed greasy hair out of his eyes.

The painting was still as bothering as usual. He sat up and his hands were shocked, nearly sending him back to lying on the ground. Rei knew he couldn’t stay on the ground all the time. He had to move around, for Nagisa’s sake. He could move while Nagisa couldn’t and he was going to make the most of it.

Even through his pain, he was determined to reach his goal. Setting goals was a sure way to keep him on track. He looked down at himself just to see if he really could get up. Apart from his broken pinky, which had been taken care of already, and a painful hip, he decided he was able to walk to the painting on the wall.

Days have passed since this painting was put up. He had irrational hate towards it. He hated it with his whole being. Not only did it remind him of the first time his “visits” started, but it was also so asymmetric and so far from perfect that it irritated him.

Not only was the black and gray paint put on without a care in the world, the pencil could still be seen under it. Nothing was remotely well-done and it just didn’t belong here.

He started to prop himself up on his knees when a familiar voice came out of the speakers.

_“What are you doing, Rei? Do you really think you can get up in your condition?”_

Rei was surprised at how mocking Paul’s tone was. He gritted his teeth as pain exploded in his hip.

“I’m not as weak as you think.” He hissed.

_“Say that to Quinn. He hasn’t had trouble beating you to the ground, has he?”_

Anger flared in his heart. He was tired of all this; tired of all the pain. What made it even worst was that he couldn’t figure out the purpose of all this. He couldn’t figure out Toe Labs’ motives. Surely, torture wasn’t the only thing they were aiming to do.

 He glared at the ceiling, his teeth nearly bared.

“Shut up, you’re just sitting in your chair and pissing me off! You’re the weak one. I’m sure you wouldn’t last a week with all the pain you put me through!”

Paul chuckled and Rei got on his feet, ignoring all the pain. He wanted that painting in shreds so he took matters into his hands and did it himself.

Rei’s nails dug into the canvas and he smiled in utter satisfaction. He brought his hands down, ignoring the pain in his bound finger.

_Stupid painting! Whoever made this is no better than a two year old!_

The sound the ripping canvas made sounded beautiful to his ears. His anger only grew when he was shocked in the feet.

“What the hell are you doing this for, you sadistic beasts? You’re hurting children, you know that? I’m only sixteen and I have to go through all this? We all have to go through this? I wasn’t brought to this world for this sort of life!”

Nagisa’s dull eyes came back to his mind and he started crying as he threw the ripped canvas on the floor.

“Nagisa…” He choked up on his name. “Nagisa won’t want to live anymore…”

He crumpled to the ground, the pain too great for him to stay up any longer. Loud pained gasps left his lips and he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Me neither…” He whispered, barely audible. “I don’t want to live like this.”

He brought his hands to his face and hair, pulling and clawing.

“It’s terrifying… I never thought I could stop minding… could stop being scared of death. It’s basic human instinct to fear death, is it not? What happened to me? Am I even the same person I was before?”

In some rational part of his mind, he knew his words were ridiculous but he couldn’t help but say them. He had changed and it was scaring him.

_“You have to be punished for this Rei.”_

He choked on his sob. He heard footsteps behind him and he curled up, crying louder than he ever had in years.

_I don’t want to live through this._


	23. Rin & Nitori

_My God, it hurts._

The pain in his bladder was different from the other kinds of pain he was feeling. It was sharp and made him gasp every time. He was scared to ask for a break. He’d rather relieve himself on the spot than to request a break but his whole body was protesting against him.

He hadn’t had a single break today and of course, his body was pretty much ripping itself to shreds with all this extreme exercise and the small amount of food it was getting. He would seriously hurt himself if he didn’t take breaks when his body needed it the most.

So he requested a break.

His man came in just as he started dragging himself to the bathroom.

“Rin.”

He stopped moving in reflex and his man came over to him. Rin’s eyes followed him as he walked behind him and pushed him forward. Rin fell to his knees and looked up to see his man sit down on his chair, his legs crossed.

“I have a deal for you, puppy. If you can hold out until the ten minutes of this break is over, you can rest for the rest of the day and I’ll bring you food. If you don’t, well… I’m sure you know you’ll be punished.”

Rin didn’t trust him one bit. Didn’t trust _them_. Why would Paul and Rin’s man decide to give him a chance at all? He didn’t know why but it bothered him. He didn’t say anything to show what he was thinking and his man took that as accepting the deal.

Only when he had his breathing together and his muscles stopped radiating pain like the sun radiated heat could he really focus on the pain in his bladder. He let out a breath through his teeth.

Rin found it strange that his man wasn’t trying to do anything to him. He was expecting him to purposely press on his bladder or something of the sort. When Rin looked up at him, it seemed he had no intention to get up or move for that matter. Their eyes met and Rin looked down immediately.

“What, you want me to touch you, right?”

Rin’s eyes widened and he hurried to shake his head. He received a smile in response.

Three minutes later, he was wondering if he _did_ want him to touch him. Would that distract him from his full bladder? Memories flooded back and pushed that thought right out of his head. His mind was derailing and he was aware of it.

Another three minutes and he was gripping his pants so hard he could feel his nails on his thighs. He wasn’t used to holding it. He usually went before it was really serious. He also went before practice because he knew he wouldn’t want to stop in the middle of practice just to go to the bathroom.

He let out a sigh at those memories. He wished he was back at school, swimming as always. How did this even happen?

His eyes went back to his man but they were nowhere near his face. He wanted to ask about this project and they got him here but his whole being went against it. He probably wouldn’t even be answered properly anyways.

After another minute, he felt like he was at the edge of spilling over. His breathing was back to being quick and his eyes were moist. The sharp pain was traveling from his bladder to his abdomen. He knew his face was flushed from all the straining he was doing.

His hips wanted to move. He wanted to sway from left to right. It looked childish but if this was to keep him from wetting himself than he was ready to swallow even more of his pride.

The response was almost immediate.

“How cute, puppy.”

He jumped slightly when a hand landed on his head. A shaky breath left his lips and his man smiled at him. He was glad when the hand was removed.

“You have two minutes left. Will you last until then? If you don’t, I’ll be a bit disappointed.”

Rin couldn’t care less if he was disappointed but it might change the way he was treated for the worst so he just hoped he was going to make it for all the things that were at stake.

Seconds passed and he knew he wasn’t going to make it. It hurt so much that he was doubled over, his arms around his hips. His vision was blurry from all the tears his eyes were bearing. He wanted to release everything right now, but of course he couldn’t.

His head felt light but he couldn’t take deep breaths. It was too dangerous. His light-headedness didn’t help him in the least. He felt a sudden sharp pain and he gasped when the muscles of his bladder loosened up.

_No, no, no no…_

He felt extreme pain at first before it vanished and all he felt was relief. Warmth spread on his abdomen and thighs and he sighed involuntarily. His body was shuddering from the sheer relief but his mind was just horrified. Urine trickled down his legs and gathered underneath him, wetting everything in its path.

He heard the chair slide against the floor and he looked up slowly, fear mingling with pleasure. His man was now up, looking down at him.

“One minute and two seconds left.” He sighed. “And I thought you could make it. Well, a kid is a kid.”

Rin wanted to punch himself.

_I couldn’t last another minute? I missed a chance for a real break and food. How pathetic can you get?_

He felt so weak. He had let himself down and it felt terrible. His body seemed to be mocking him because his bladder continued emptying its contents.

His man took a step and a wave of fear engulfed his heart. His remaining strength left him like a river. He lowered his head even more. He knew what was coming and he just wasn’t ready for it.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out.

The footsteps stopped. Rin continued, a tear falling off the tip of his nose. He was holding himself so hard that his knuckles turned white.

“I know what you’re going to do. Please, anything but this. Punish me some other kind of way. I beg you.”

Rin had given up. This seemed to be the only way to change his fate. He raised his head when he earned no response. His man actually looked troubled, even if just a little.

_“Hayate.”_

Rin jumped at the voice. There was a tone of warning in Paul’s voice. His man looked back down and Rin stared at him, his eyes watery and soft. A sigh told him he had won.

“Pleading with your eyes, just like a puppy.”

Rin blinked before he was yanked to his feet.

“Fine, back to running then. No breaks for you.”

Rin’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting this. He thought he would be kicked around not _this_. He was terrified of that water. He had fallen twice and he didn’t want a third time to come. He resisted when he was pulled to the treadmill.

_I’m going to die for sure if I go back there._

He gasped when he was yanked forward harshly. His forehead hit a collarbone and he winced. Arms wrapped around his waist and hands landed on his hips. The two’s foreheads bumped against each other and Rin’s breath caught in his throat. Rin’s man was inches away from his face.

“Why are you struggling? You want me to change my mind?” He asked, his voice low.

Rin couldn’t even breathe. He was right. He had given him a chance for once and he had to take it. He had two choices and it was obvious which one was the best.

Rin cursed himself over and over again before shaking his head. He stumbled back when the arms supporting him vanished. He swallowed and slowly walked over to the treadmill. He knew he was going to fall. It was just a matter of time.

A moment later, he was running again, his pants wet and cold, and his man nowhere in sight.

\---

Nitori was laying on the floor just like his first few days in this room. He was feeling sick and weak and a headache was eating his head away. In other words, he felt like crap and he could barely bear with it. He knew what caused this.

Drug dependence.

The food was mostly the same all the time but yesterday it tasted different. That was all he could remember of that meal actually.

Nitori was worried. Very worried. Right now, he was having a hard remembering things. What he ate yesterday is a complete mystery to him. He knew it was white since it always was but that didn’t help him.

That wasn’t all though. He couldn’t remember what class he was in nor where he sat. Even his dorm room was just a blur in mind.

He looked over at the silhouette that kept him from sleeping but was now the only person to talk to.

“My God, what’s happening to my brain?” He whispered harshly.

The silhouette shrugged and Nitori bit his lip.

Was this a side effect? Or was it intentional? Either way, he was scared. What if he forgot his friends and family?

He held up a hand and lifted his fingers as he went.

“Rin-senpai, Momotarou, Haruka-san, Makoto-san, Yamazaki-senpai, Na…”

He blinked. Na what? He had his magenta eyes and blond hair in mind but he didn’t know his name. He tried a few combinations but none sounded right to him.

He glanced at his scarred wrists and looked around. His room was tainted with his own blood. Since everything was so white, it stood out. The walls, the floors, the towels in his bathroom, everything was tainted with dried blood.

Now that his mind was a bit clearer, he found it scary how much blood he had lost in all the scratching and beating he’d done to himself. He brought his eyes up to the ceiling, happy to see it was white.

He couldn’t even remember the name of the man who always talked to him through the speakers. He introduced himself only once but he should still be able to remember. All he knew was that it was a foreign name. He opened his mouth.

“Hey, is it normal that I can’t remember things?” He asked, almost certain he wouldn’t get an answer.

He jumped when he heard the voice since he hadn’t heard it in so long.

_“Do you remember my name?”_

Nitori frowned. Could he read minds? He shook his head at the ridiculous thought.

“No.” He answered.

Paul didn’t say anything else and Nitori continued frowning.

That was when the door opened. Nitori’s man entered and the Man silhouette wrapped around him as he walked.

A tray was set down beside him. He looked at the man in the eyes.

“There are drugs in there, right?” He asked, his voice casual.

His man just stared at him and stayed silent as he left, the silhouette leaving his back.

Nitori sniffed the food. His sick body didn’t want to ingest anything but if the food was going to make him feel better, he was willing to force himself to eat.

It was strange to him that his thoughts on drugs changed since he first came here. At first, he wanted to avoid it as much as possible but now he wanted it. He _needed_ it.

He didn’t bother to grab the fork and shoved the potato in his mouth.


	24. Sousuke & Momotarou

Sousuke was on edge. The chaos started after his visit with Rin. He was finally eating good food after days of having a stomach as empty as his room when a loud _boom_ made him choke on his food. It continued from there.

He had spent his days being anxious and he kept anticipating something to scare him throughout the days. Sometimes the wait lasted for a few minutes, but other times his heart was beating fast for a full hour before anything happened.

All this anxiety and nervousity tired him out to no end. Even now, he was sweating and breathing fast. He gasped when the door across from him opened. His man came in with a hammer. Sousuke was sure he was going to get hit with it but his man walked over to the clock instead. He jumped when the glass covering the clock was crushed under the hammer.

Glass shards of all sizes and shapes flew, the clear pieces littering the floor. The black fingers of the clock followed. Sousuke watched with confusion

_“Sorry, Sousuke.”_

Sousuke’s heart clenched at the sound of the sudden voice. He grabbed his shirt and let out a pained breath. Now everything made him jump.

_“We lied. 42 days passed already but you’re still here. I assume you know what this means?”_

Sousuke swallowed hard.

“I’m staying here much longer.” He breathed out.

_“Right.”_

He hadn’t trusted them but it still hurt to know he had been counting days for nothing-to know he had false hope all this time.

He turned his head quickly when he heard the shards of glass moving. His man had the clock in his hand along with the shining pieces. He threw them in a garbage besides the doorway. Sousuke wanted to run out of the room but it was reckless and he knew it wouldn't end well.

He jumped again when Paul started talking.

_“You’re hungry aren’t you? We’ll bring you some food.”_

Sousuke gripped his arms like he was hugging himself for warmth.

“You mean a bug nest.” He answered bitterly.

He could imagine Paul smiling. It took a minute for his food to come. Like expected, it looked good and harmless. He waited for the door to close to check the food. Usually he didn’t even check because he didn’t want to have a heart attack. But now he was truly starving and he had to eat. He poked at his mashed potato countless times, expecting some hideous bug to come out.

His heart didn’t stop beating fast even when he knew there was nothing in it. This happened before where one of the things was good but the other wasn’t. He was surprised when the milk was expired. The container didn’t let him smell the drink and he thought it was good so it caught him by surprise. He had cursed himself so much for being so stupid. Now, he checked everything.

His coconut juice also smelled normal so he took a sip. He almost sighed when it tasted good. He then tried the mashed potato to see that they were also good.

“Finally…” He sighed.

_They have to keep me alive after all._

He heard Paul chuckle though it sounded like he was tired. He ignored him and continued eating his food. The lights suddenly turned off when he took the last sip of his coconut juice. He nearly spitted it out but he managed to get it down his throat, not without a few coughs.

He was scared all over again. The sudden sound of what he could only imagine was an explosion made him jump and hit the wall. All he could hear in the complete silence was his breathing, the sound of his blood rushing in his veins and a slight buzzing.

This continued until he had no energy left. Everything was so chaotic and random that he couldn’t anticipate when they would happen.

He was leaning on the wall, barely standing up. His whole being was shaking uncontrollably and he couldn’t breathe. His head felt light and his vision was getting darker as if someone was slowly turning off the lights.

_Damn it..._

He felt himself falling before he saw complete darkness.

\---

Momotarou was rocking back and forth in the corner of his dark room, gripping his arms full of cuts and burns.

He still remembered when he woke up after the operation. There were long scars on his abdomen and there was a bump on his side. He had no idea what it was and it was scaring him to death. When he first woke up, he was terrified. He expected to see a little boy tied to him. All there was were scars, fortunately. He asked Paul what had happened and the answer just made him feel worse.

_“We aborted the operation. The child died before we could do much. We want you two alive so we're trying to get the best of our chances. We will try again with someone else."_

After that, he got scared every time the door to his room opened. Now, he kept whispering to himself and shaking his head.

"They're really killing us all! I'm not ready to die! Not like this! I’ll die in pain! I want to at least die last but I don't want _them_ to die. They’re my friends! I can’t just wish for their deaths." He whispered, his voice harsh.

He started biting his cheeks. He shook his head over and over again.

“I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. I want them to go first. Let them die first. If we're all going to die anyways, let them die first!” He let out, his voice barely audible.

He was tearing up but he ignored it.

_I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!_

He repeated this over and over again until he felt like he could believe it. He was too young to die, yet so were they. He shook his head.

_Stop it, you’ll just hurt yourself if you start worrying about them. Didn’t Nitori-senpai say to worry about yourself?_

He wasn’t sure if Nitori actually said that but he knew just thinking about him made him uncomfortable. He was saying that he didn’t care but he did. He especially cared for Nitori. He had comforted him back then. He was the only familiar face he had seen in days not including his man.

He shook his head and continued repeating the three words in his head. He stopped when he heard a sound. He held his breath and his ears perked up. He heard something else and his eyes started filling up with tears. He was so tired of this.

He became a crying mess every time he heard a sound or felt something. One of the scariest thing was that he had no idea if it was real or not. Sometimes, the touches were so light that he felt no human could be that delicate, especially in the dark. It wouldn’t surprise him if his mind made it all up.

His head turned quickly when his door opened and light came in.

_“We’ve found someone else with a blood type compatible to yours. It’s time, Momotarou.”_

Momotarou broke down in tears. Convulsive gasps wracked his body as his man picked him up and he was slung over his shoulder. He hit his man’s back over and over as they started moving.

“I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die!” He shrieked.

He repeated those words until his throat was sore.

The last thing heard from him was a gasp as the door to the room he first saw the little boy in closed inches away from his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, now all that's left is part 2 of Stage 3, the end of the project and the two ends. Sorry for posting so late today! I just finished writing this chapter.


	25. Haru & Nagisa OUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Nagisa are done!

Haru was sweating so much he was wondering if he could raise the water level. It was a ridiculous thought but it really passed his mind.

The water had risen in temperature. He had a pounding headache and he fainted once from the heat. Like with the ice cold water, his man was there to save him from drowning. After resting back in his cold room, he was back in the hot water.

He was now looking around, the constant fear that the shark or _something_ was going to attack him. He had stayed up in the surface for so long and now he was forced to swim after a series of painful electric shocks.

The only reason he was able to get an orb was that he had forced himself to think the shark was Rin. His fear lessened that way and he was able to get an orb with a kick to the shark’s face. The feeling of accomplishment was replaced with unbearable fear when the shark’s sharp metal teeth clamped down on his leg and dragged him down. 

It was the feeling of extreme fear you got once in a lifetime, right before dying. The blood tainting the water red, the complete darkness as he went deeper, the pain he felt in his leg and the feeling of the shark’s throat as the shark pulled him down, the extreme panic he felt as he lungs burned up; all that scared him so much that he wasn’t able to do anything but stare at his imminent death.

He had never felt such fear before. His mind was blank. He could barely process anything. He had felt the fear of death before but he had hope back then that he would be saved before he really did die. Now, he felt he wouldn’t be saved. He felt that this was his last day alive.

He closed his eyes as the shark let go of his leg. He had given up. There was no way he was going to the surface. He never thought he could be so scared of water but he was. He never thought he would die in the water he loved so much and it broke his heart.

His consciousness left him and he was almost glad.

\---

Nagisa could feel the strands of his own hair on his bound hands. The mice were long dead but the snake was still alive. The spiders were gone and Nagisa didn’t care where they were. It didn’t smell good but it barely bothered him.

He was staring at the wall when his man came in. He didn’t move his eyes to look until he was right in front of him. His man had a tablet in his hands. What Nagisa saw made him blink and his eyes focused.

Nagisa could see Rei. He was all bloody and he was barely moving. A man was throwing him around and hitting him. Nagisa barely realized he had seen him before. Rei was silent until he got hit in the abdomen. A choked cry escaped him and Nagisa inhaled in panic.

He looked up at his man then at the ceiling. He wanted to ask so many questions.

_Why are you doing this? Why are you showing me this? Will Rei be okay?_

_“This might be the last time you see your friend, Nagisa.”_

His man got up and he tried making a sound, without success. All he could manage was a breath. He was left untouched.

Nagisa wanted to cry, he really did, but no tears came to his eyes. He couldn’t cry even with the announcement that his friend could die. He wasn’t even human anymore.

He stared ahead, his eyes unfocused, his face still, his eyelids not even closing. He felt absolutely nothing. He was giving up. He was done. He didn’t need to live anymore. There was no need for it. He had nothing to look forward to and nothing to care about. He was just done.

_I figured it out. I’m not a caged animal, no. I’m an object, something disposable. And like an object, I won’t feel anything when I’m thrown away._

\---

Paul rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted. He knew he looked like death right now but he had only a few days to go. Now he had to wait for the boys’ results.

He prayed for the results to be negative. He didn’t want to throw them back into their rooms and continue all this.

He turned his chair around when he heard footsteps. The man in charge of Rin was standing there, looking as tired as Paul felt.

“Have you decided?” Paul asked him.

The man took a loud breath and released it, a hand to his eyes, and nodded.

“I’ve done such horrible things and it’ll only get worst. I won’t be able to live with these memories. They’ll hunt me forever. I want to erase them.” He sighed.

Paul looked at him in the eyes.

“You know the procedure is new and could harm your brain, right Hayate? You’re sure and certain?”

He nodded again. Paul sighed quietly in response.

“You’re the third. The others will surely follow.”

Worry washed over Hayate’s face.

“You included, right?” He asked, his voice soft.

Paul shook his head and turned back around. He used his hands to support his chin.

“I don’t deserve to. That's the least I can do for causing them so much pain, even if it’s saving them.”

Hayate made a soft sound before leaving the room. It took half an hour for Paul to be able to see the results. He sighed in relief.

_They are cured._


	26. Makoto & Rei OUT?

It had been a long time since Makoto had drawn. He wasn’t having fun in the least. He was drawing his dead friends after all.

Nagisa and Nitori had died the same day and Rin soon followed. He had seen each of them along with the others and knew what they were or had been going through. He had drawn each one of them in different pages.

Rei had already been drawn but Makoto felt compelled to add to it. He drew various large animals like elephants and lions trampling on the blue dog without a care in the world. The sky was red and there was no moon or sun in it. He even drew a leg in the air.

On the next page was the little boy. He unconsciously drew a boy that looked like him. He laughed when he noticed it.

“That’s right, I’m the cause of their deaths. At least the little boy killed only one of them.” He had whispered.

Next was Nagisa. The dog was small and had plenty of fur. The magenta eyes were now red and they looked lifeless. Blood was slipping down the sides of its mouth much like saliva would. The yellow dog was in a narrow pit and a snake was wrapped around its body. Two legs were bending in unusual directions and the snake was biting its neck.

Nitori didn’t make much sense even to him. That was what he imagined taking drugs looked like. A dead gray dog had its claws dug into its own body and was drawing blood. The dog’s eyes were wide and had no life left in them. A trail of fur followed it and pooled under it. He made sure to put a lot of pink and red for the dog’s skin. The world around it was a mess of colors and shapes. He wasn’t sure what he drew himself.

And then came Rin. The burgundy dog had its tongue out and was drooling so much there was a puddle of saliva under its mouth. The dog was curled up on itself like it was protecting itself before dying. Patches of fur had been pulled out and various injuries littered the dog’s body. What seemed to be a wolf was nearly over it, drooling and panting. The background was left completely white expect for where the dead dog lied. It was black like a menacing shadow.

He was singing the song all the while despite his sore throat and the burning pain caused by his punishments. He always caught himself singing it but he stopped caring quickly.

His pencils were still in his hands after he was done drawing them.

Even if Paul hadn’t announced the others’ deaths, he knew they were coming so he drew the remaining dogs in advance. The only dog missing was Haru’s. He couldn’t bring himself to believe _he_ was going to die.

Sousuke was a brown dog curled in a ball. Its ears were bitten off and its muzzle had been clawed at to shreds. Uneven lines surrounded it to show it was shaking. A dozen of speakers littered the floor, walls and ceilings, covering the background. A bloody heart was on the floor beside the dog and the lines around it showed that it still twitched. Worms, spiders, and other bugs were crawling around the floor and the dog’s fur.

Lastly was Momotarou. The orange dog was on the floor, its eyes wide and lifeless. Its ears were perked up like it was trying to hear something even in death. Vomit stuck to its fur and the operating table under it. Body parts, belonging to the last dog, were sewed on various places of its body. Tv screens made up the background and lit up the room.

Makoto laid the papers out on the soft ground. There were two pages left to draw on. He drew the little boy holding bloody dog parts for one of them. The other one was left blank. Just looking at it made him uncomfortable. He wanted that page to disappear so he couldn’t draw the last dog on it.

But it was the time for the announcement he dreaded to come.

_“It seems we have failed to keep most of you alive. Someone else passed away today.”_

Makoto shook his head and covered his ears. He didn’t want to hear it.

_“Nanase Haruka died from asphyxiation. He died before we could save him.”_

He stopped breathing and his hands lowered by themselves. He knew it was coming but it hurt so much. He was now gasping for air as tears filled his eyes. He grabbed at his chest.

_So the last thing I saw of him was his crying face?”_

Haru’s red and wet face appeared in his mind and he wanted to yell.

"I get it.” He breathed out. “I killed them all. I don't deserve to live.”

He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling, tears freely streaming down his face.

“Kill me already!" He screamed, his voice rough.

_"That's your punishment, Makoto. Continue living in this pain. Your siblings will replace your friends."_

He was sobbing now. He didn’t even know what hurt him the most. Everything was hurting both physically and mentally. He was so tired of everything.

_My mistakes have killed them all. It's all my fault. I can't live with this guilt. I don't want to. I want to die. God, please let me die!_

The door opened and Makoto’s man pulled him to his feet.

He was dragged away and Makoto hoped they were leading him to his death.

\---

Rei felt he was going to go crazy any moment now. It had been days now since he had stopped feeling anything.

He couldn’t feel the pain of his injuries or smell his own body anymore. He couldn’t see well without his glasses and there were no sounds in his room. He hadn’t eaten in a few days so he had no food in his stomach for his body to digest.

He felt dead.

He was now hitting himself and banging his head against the Shocking Cirles. He could barely feel the pain it caused. He was used to intense pain that never ended. Now, even the electric shocks had stopped. He couldn’t stand it.

_I've gone crazy! I want pain, the thing I was fearing so much for the past weeks? I've become a pet dependent on its master. I'm the worst!_

There wasn’t any color in his room to stimulate his brain. Nothing in this room was helping him. He was now crying in frustration and desperation. His tears mingled with the blood from the wounds on his forehead.

He looked up when he heard the speakers.

_“I have news Rei. Your friends, or former friends, were given a choice. They could leave but had to leave someone behind. They aren’t in this building anymore. I assume you know what that means?”_

Rei's nails dug into a bruise on his forearm.

_“You were the sacrifice, Rei. You will stay with us a bit longer.”_

He was shaking his head in disbelief but deep down, it made sense.

Rei had always felt like an outsider, someone who didn’t belong in the group. He hadn’t swam as long as the others nor did he know any of them before all this. Of course he was the best choice to leave here. Now he knew the feeling he had felt for a while was real.

He walked over to the mirror and started hitting it with all the strength a starved and beaten teenage boy could muster. He laughed when he felt the shocks. Blood slipped through the cracks and distorted his reflection even more. The blurry reflection of his man soon appeared. He turned around and grabbed his arms just as the same was done to his own.

He looked up at him with a crazed, bloody smile. Joy could actually be seen in his eyes.

“You’ve come to beat me up, right?” He asked, his voice shaking with what could only be delight.

When he wasn’t answered, he dug his nails into his man’s skin, making a grimace appear on his face.

“Won’t you hurt me anymore? It’s your job isn’t it?” He asked as he shook him.

His man looked uncomfortable, even scared. Rei’s tears fell even faster and the smile on his lips disappeared.

“Please, I can’t stand it…” He whispered. “I’ve been abandoned, it’s the least you can do….”

His man stared at him with distant eyes.

_“Quinn, knock him out.”_

As soon as the order was given, Rei was hit and his consciousness slipped away.

\---

Like the other two boys, Makoto and Rei were taken to be tested.

Rei was negative but Makoto’s results were different.

“The virus is very weak, nearly dead. It’s possible his body will be able to kill it by itself, even with a weakened immune system.”

Paul nodded at the doctor who left soon after. Paul walked over to the phone and dialed a number that didn’t belong to the country he was in.

“Hello, Mr. Tachibana, this is Paul.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, this chapter is so damn sad.


	27. Rin & Nitori OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got around to writing this chapter! Since I started watching an anime, I haven't felt like writing but here it is!

Rin was happy to finally leave his room. He hated his room and hated all the running he had to do daily. He was so tired now that he was practically leaning on his man.

He was also wary. If he was going somewhere else, it probably meant that all this torture would get worst.

He had been feeling bad lately. Well, since he came here to this lab he had felt sick. He had blamed it on so many things but deep down he knew none were the cause. He felt like he was getting weaker has time passed. He wouldn’t be needing his man for support if it was a week ago. Something was wrong with him, he could feel it.

This feeling was what he imagined people with deadly diseases went through. The feeling of slowly getting weaker; slowly dying. It was scaring him. Was malnutrition and all this exercise really the cause or was he right and it was something else completely?

He dared to open his eyes despite the bright lights and his pounding headache. Like he expected, the hallways were white. They stopped in front of a numbered door. Rin knew immediately that another kid was in there. If he knew that kid or not was what he was about to find out.

He nearly sighed when it was someone he didn’t know. He had a bad feeling since he was forced out of his room and he knew it would be worse if it was someone he knew. He had a few theories of what he had to do and he knew he didn’t want to see someone he knew.

He was pushed upright and he stared down at the kid. The kid’s expression broke his heart. A little girl no older than 13 was curled up in the corner of the room. Her eyes were big with fear and apprehension. She was absolutely terrified of him and it hurt Rin to the core. He was used to seeing people being scared of him when he got angry sometimes but it was never so profound.

“He’ll be the one beating you up.” His man announced.

Rin’s head turned quickly. He had said it with such detachment that it made Rin uncomfortable.

“What?” He let out without really meaning to.

He was pushed in response and he slammed into the wall, right above the girl. He hurried to scramble away and turned around to face the person he truly hated the most.

“I’m not touching her. She’s not even in high school yet!” He protested.

The stare he received made his hands tighten into fists. He was terrified and he knew he would just get hurt but he couldn’t bring himself to harm her. She reminded him of his little sister and it was just unimaginable to hurt either of them.

“Rin.”

He audibly swallowed.

“I’m giving you one minute to choose. If you choose not to hurt her, we’re going back.”

It wasn’t even a bold threat but Rin was terrified by his last words. He knew that meant something bad was going to happen and it actually scared him more not to know what it was.

He looked back at the girl who was now crying. He shook his head.

“I can’t!” He hissed.

His man’s eyes were intimidating and were putting pressure on him. It felt like weight was put on his chest, making it difficult to breathe. His palms were sweating and he could feel himself trembling. He couldn’t take this kind of pressure. He knew that if he stayed here any longer with those pressuring eyes on him, his tired mind might just decide that it is better to hurt the poor kid. He shook his head again.

“Let’s go back then. I’m not touching her.” He said quietly.

His man blinked in response.

“Fine.”

He was grabbed by the wrist and led out. He turned his head to see the girl. His eyes filled with tears when she mouthed the words “thank you” to him. He knew he was going to regret it but right now, he felt like had done the right thing.

He soon began to question if it _was_ the right thing to do. He was surprised when he was taken to another room and even more surprised when he saw a familiar face. A huge lump formed in his throat and his eyes watered even more. He had his hands on the window that was separating him from his sister before he could even think.

“Gou!” He let out.

The tears in her eyes shined in the artificial light.

“Onii-chan, I’m so happy to see you!” She shrieked, her hands mirroring his.

“Me too.” He replied immediately.

It was only half true though. He didn’t know why she was there and his mind made up a few situations of its own. It terrified him so much that he turned around again.

“Why is she here? You won’t hurt her, right?” He yelled.

His voice would have been louder if it was before all this happened and he wasn’t talking to the man he hated and feared. Just yelling that at him took all his willpower. He walked over to him and Rin backed up into the wall.

“There’s no need for us to hurt her. You’re the one who will be hurt.”

With that, he found himself on the floor, his man straddling him.

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God._

He could barely hear his sister’s frantic yells because of his loud thoughts. He was frozen in shock and that was quickly taking advantage of. He felt prying hands on his legs and he gasped.

_He’s doing this in front of Gou? No way…_

He was struggling but he was _so_ weak. How was he even supposed to beat up a girl with this kind of energy and strength anyways?

He made the mistake of looking towards Gou. Her eyes were wide and she had been forced into silence by a woman.

_Don’t look, I’m disgusting._

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand it. The shame, embarrassment and self-deprecation he felt was crushing him and breaking him into pieces. He couldn’t help but want to go back in time to hurt that poor girl so he wouldn’t have to be in this situation. The shame that thought brought on made him feel even more miserable.

_I want to disappear and never come back. I want this life to end._

\---

Nitori was rocking back and forth in the corner of his room for hours now. His chin was dripping with saliva but he didn’t even notice. He was just staring at the ball hanging from the ceiling.

He was craving it, yearning for it. He needed more of those drugs. Just thinking about it made his mouth water. He was weak now and he felt sick. Nausea, headaches, and muscle cramps became his daily troubles.

He finally stopped moving and stood up. He looked over at his shadow friend.

“Won’t you get some for me? I’m going to die if I don’t have any more. I’m going to wither away just like my mind!”

Despite his words, he had a smile on his lips though it was devoid of joy.

His memory had gotten worst over the days. He couldn’t remember his home phone number nor how the inside of his house looked like not matter how hard he concentrated. Everything was blurry but it was there at least, like having a word at the tip of your tongue. It’s so close yet out of reach.

His friend shook his head at his question and Nitori let out an unexpected yell.

“Come on, give me some! My body is going to rot without it!” He screamed at the ceiling.

He started scratching at the walls and hitting his head with his knuckles.

“It hurts! My brain’s shrinking, stupid scientists!” He continued screaming.

The scratching evolved into punching in a moment. Blood tainted the already dirtied wall as his skin ripped.

“Come on, you gave it to me in the first place, it’s all your fault!” He yelled, now out of breath.

The door opened when he started banging his head on the wall.

Searing pain in his neck is the last thing he felt before he fell unconscious.

\---

“Aichiirou had the most time while Rin had the least.” Paul said to himself. “They better both be fine.”

He watched as their heads were operated on.

“You will help the rest of your country and even farther with what you’ve all lived through.”

He looked down at the two papers on his desk showing the last two subjects.

“Only two more and you’re out…” He said quietly.

After half an hour, the results were given to him. He sighed in relief like he had done for the others. He placed his hand on Rin’s personal sheet.

“You’re staying alive much longer Rin.”


	28. Sousuke & Momotarou OUT

Sousuke’s body randomly started twitching and it scared him to no end. At some point, the twitching became so prominent that he stopped getting scared from being surprised and instead began to be scared of his body’s state. What was scarier was that he had no control over his body. It jumped and shook by itself. He should be able to control his own body, right?

His exhausted mind made a connection with him not controlling his body and Rin’s man controlling his friend. He was still slightly shocked by his visit. The miserable state of his friend and the lie Paul made up about the 42 days made his hope shrink to near invisibility. Throughout the days, he had hope that he would be saved by someone. He wasn’t a person that relied on others often but he couldn’t do anything himself.

Rin’s face resurfaced in his mind and he squeezed his eyes shut.

_I never thought the stubborn and prideful Rin could be stripped of his pride like this. Or did he become much less confident while we were separated? Do I even know my best friend anymore?_

He continued doubting himself until the sound of an explosion made him involuntarily run across the room. He looked up to see the wall had been blown to pieces and a black hole stared back at him.

His heartbeat picked up in a second. He didn’t like that hole. He didn’t know what was behind it and it rooted him in place. All he could think was rodents and monstrosities getting out of that hole. Well, until he realized he was right next to the bathroom. He hurried to the corner of the room with a gasp.

It had been a while since he had entered that bathroom. It was the scariest place in this room. The lights didn’t work which was ominous and he sometimes heard breaking glass but with the help of the outside light, he could always confirm that the light bulbs were intact.

He also saw things like eyes and shiny things and heard things like scratching and breathing. It made his heart clench and his breathing quicken every time he was near it. Because of his extreme fear, he hadn’t stepped in since and now the floor was dirty with urine and vomit.

The vomiting sessions weren’t pleasant in the least. The pleasant feeling of being empty didn’t feel nice now. Since he was usually too scared to even check the food he was given, he usually went hungry. This led to vomiting water or stomach acid or to having an intense gag reflex without anything coming out. It was one of the worst feelings he had felt since coming here and couldn’t help but have tears in his eyes every time.

He wasn't sleeping either. Electric shocks and loud sounds woke him up most of the time and he became a light-sleeper as a result. Now, every time music started or stopped and the vent stopped giving air or it became dark, he would wake up. It was hell not to be able to sleep.

That’s why he wanted to sleep and never wake up.

When he felt his body give up after more shocks, he was happy. Maybe his wish would come true.

\---

Momotarou was staring at the static on the TV screen. A bump had been added to his body and he came to the conclusion that he had parts of two different children at his sides. He didn’t even know how to feel about it. He just kept on staring at the TV.

The shackles were hanging from the walls, unused. It had been a while since he had been tied up. He had been free to wander the room without watching the movies. He glanced over multiple times but turned away when he saw something disturbing. Now that there was only static he could watch it with minimal fear.

His mind started to wander while he was staring at the black and white on the TV. He started wondering what if felt to cut someone’s skin with a scalpel and to sew a wound just like you would for a ripped shirt. And he wondered how it felt to be responsible for someone’s death. The people here were surely going to kill him and the others so he wondered how they will feel. Will it be ecstasy or extreme guilt? Momotarou was curious.

He wanted to switch places. He had felt enough as the victim, he wanted to be the one to torture people. He knew it was much more fun than going through all this. Since he was going to die anyways, he felt like he could kill someone and there were a lot reasons to kill the people here.

But of course, he was a weak teenage boy and he would be pushed to the ground before he could even do anything.

He slowly looked up at the ceiling.

Besides, he felt like they could read his mind. They would know what he was going to do before they even entered the room.

_It’s not fair but that’s survival of the fittest, right? The stronger of the two will win and live on._

Just as he thought this, he heard something and he turned around quickly. He gasped.

A raccoon was facing him, its teeth bared. It was obvious it intended to hurt him, if not kill him.

_What in the world is that doing here?_

It got closer and he backed away until his back hit the wall. He looked around for anything that could protect him. The only things that could be effective in his room was the TV, the cameras, and the shackles. His eyes lingered on the shackles.

_This is my chance. My chance to spill blood. It’s self-defense, right? There are no consequences for this. This is my last chance before I die._

He carefully walked over to the shackles and grabbed one of them. At that moment, the raccoon lunged at him. He shrieked and his arms moved by themselves. He swung the chain and the end made contact with the raccoon’s head. A terrible shriek left the raccoon’s mouth as he slammed into the wall.

Momotarou stared at the moving but weak animal he had just struck. He looked down that drops of blood had splattered on his clothes. Blood started appearing under the gray fur but the wounded animal started pushing itself up despite his wound. Without warning, it lunged at him again but Momotarou was in shock and he acted much slower. Teeth dug into his skin and he gasped. He grabbed an ear and yanked until the teeth were out. He threw the critter at the wall and more blood tainted the wall.

He looked down at his arm.

_I’m going to get rabies. That’s how I’ll die!_

Without thinking, Momotarou’s arms rose and he swung down on the weakened animal with all his might. When he let go of the shackles, blood dripped down from it. He fell down to his knees, his eyes unable to leave the bloody and very much dead animal.

He didn’t know how to feel. Guilty? Relieved? Terrified? He might have been feeling all three but he couldn’t tell.

“It’s fine, right? Self-defense, right? Survival of the fittest, right? It’s like sneezing without covering your mouth. It's bad but it's fine.” He whispered to himself.

He nodded over and over again as the door opened. He kept telling himself that his actions were justified as he was picked up effortlessly. As he left his room, his thoughts changed.

_No, they’re not justified. I’m a monster. I’ve been turned into a monster!_

He stared down at the blood on his hands that he didn’t notice as he was taken away to who knew where.

\---

Paul watched as the raccoon’s bloody carcass was picked up and disposed of.

“So he really did it…” He sighed.

He brought his hand to his face and closed his eyes.

“Here are the results, sir.”

He held out his hand, not bothering to move from his position. The papers landed in his hand and he put them down on the table. He looked down at both personal sheets.

“It’s done… It’s finally done….”

He got up and turned to leave. The project was finished and it was time to give the boys the explanation they deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this marks the start of my little break. I have to think about how the explanations will be given. I warn you all, I am no scientist and the explanations for how the virus works might be absolute bullshit but try to think it makes sense, okay lol? I don't know when I'm coming back, probably in a few days. I have to prepare for school so maybe later. Anyways, thank you for your patience! We're almost done, whoop!


	29. AMR project, End 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of their suffering is finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys! I finally got around to writing this. 
> 
> I'm really sorry in advance if the explanations don't make sense. I can't really come up with something better since I don't know much about all this, I'm still in school after all. The alternate end or end 2 is coming some other time.

The boy all left their rooms, accompanied by men different from the ones they were used to. Their meeting was strange. Everyone stayed silent but they all had thoughts and feelings whirling in them.

Haru was just glad to see everyone, especially Makoto. He was reminded of the robotic shark when he saw Rin, even if the latter didn’t look threatening at all, and fear sparked in his heart, threatening to overwhelm him. He averted his eyes and ended on Nagisa. Seeing his young friend in a wheelchair along with his dull face made him uneasy. Seeing Rei’s multiple bandages and stitches along with the scars on Makoto’s body didn’t help.

Nagisa had nothing to feel about meeting his friends. He just knew it was good they were all alive. He did feel a little something when he saw Rei. It was a mix of mild surprise and relief. He really thought his friend would be gone forever. He couldn’t help but feel somewhat jealous of the fact that everyone else was well enough to walk even though Rei was limping and most of the others were supported by the men. At least they could stand.

Makoto was conflicted. He was beyond delighted to see that his friends were alive but deep in his heart, he was angry. He had truly thought he had killed them yet here they were alive but not too well. Paul had lied to him all this time. He wanted to die for what he had done but now it just seemed like the pain and guilt that had been eating him from the inside out were useless feelings. Some place far away in him, he wanted them to actually have died so he would have had a reason to go through all that pain. It felt worst to know that he had gone through all this for nothing when he could have had a valuable reason to. At least it seemed everyone had been going through what he was told. Seeing them made him think of how miserable he looked and he just stopped looking at them.

Rei’s feelings were a mess. He was shocked and felt betrayed, was relieved and angry, and to top it all off, he felt guilty for not being overjoyed to see they were all alive. Perhaps it was because he knew they were all alive. He was happy but not as much as he normally would be. He knew something was wrong with him and this made him fear himself even more. A bit of his anger left when he saw Nagisa and he almost choked on a sob. He had seen him before but now it was just bone-chilling. Nobody’s eyes were lively, but his eyes just looked dead and he didn’t know what to feel. He noticed that the others were also looking at Nagisa with a variety of expressions on their faces and he was relieved that it wasn’t completely abnormal feeling all these emotions.

Rin wanted to run away and hide. He didn’t want to be looked at-didn’t want to be near anybody. It was difficult to breathe and he was scared it would bring attention to himself. He was awfully hot and it seemed he could feel the heat from everyone else which made him notice how close he was to them. It didn’t help him control his breathing. The only reason he dared to look at the others was because his long hair hid his face. He was actually relieved to see that he wasn’t the only one in such a state. He was surprised to see how different Haru, but especially Sousuke, looked. His best friend seemed to have gotten younger and smaller. The big eyes, the twitchy fingers, the shaking; it all made Sousuke look like a scared animal. It was strange and alarming to see someone strong like him look like someone so weak. He couldn’t begin to imagine what had happened for him to change like that.

Everyone looked so different to Nitori, but then again he wasn’t sure the mental images he had of them were accurate or not. The state of his two senpai scared him the most. They both had gotten so frail. He had looked up to both of them because they were both strong and talented. Now, Momotarou looked stronger than them. Well, he looked stronger than everyone here. His kohai’s eyes were dark and steady, like he had sealed his mind away and now only an unaltered version of him was showing. It was strange. He was different from everyone else. He felt so far away and Nitori hated it. Momotarou’s eyes met his and Nitori looked away before his mind could completely deform his friend’s face.

Sousuke’s eyes kept darting around but settled on a few faces. He had started respecting Haru for how confident he usually looked, but now he seemed like a totally different person, not that the long hair and weight loss helped. He was also surprised to see Nagisa. He was usually happy and full of energy but he was now everything but. What surprised and scared him the most though was Rin. He didn’t think Rin could look any worse than when he last saw him but oh was he wrong. The way he didn’t dare raise his head higher, the way his thighs were glued to each other, and the way he seemed to be inching away from everyone else scared him almost as much as his worry of something suddenly appearing from the white hallways. He had thought earlier that he didn’t know his best friend anymore but now he truly didn’t know who this familiar-looking person was.

Momotarou felt he couldn’t trust anything. He had learned from all the movies and the “aborted experiments” done on him that he couldn’t trust the people working here. Paul had announced that the project was over but he wasn’t so sure. He at least believed that his friends were truly in a bad state and that it wasn’t an act from Paul and his men to make him believe something. They could never fake such emotion-filled, and in some cases, emotionless eyes. He had tried to convince himself he didn’t care about them but his mind betrayed him. He really did feel for his friends though not as much as he thought he usually would. He just hoped he could at least trust them. They were the only people left to trust. He knew he couldn’t even trust his parents after all.

They were taken to different rooms and were left alone, sitting in the center of the room facing a TV screen. The face of a man with brown hair and blue eyes behind black frames appeared on the screen. Dark bags were under his eyes like he hadn’t slept much.

_“Hello, this is Paul. You can finally put a face to the name but it’s unnecessary since I will soon be forgotten. We’re both exhausted so I won’t speak too much. My only purpose is to explain to you why this has been done, even if you’ll forget about all this. You have the right to know.”_

He closed his eyes and sighed loudly before opening them back up.

_“You eight have been affected with a virus like many more in the world. You may have heard of the Insanity Virus as it is called in the news. It hasn’t been shown how the virus was dealt with for two reasons. First, we weren’t fully confident it was effective and second, you felt first-hand what this “treatment” was so I believe you understand why we couldn’t possibly tell the public. It would do more harm than good._

_Now, I’ll tell you about the virus. I’ll make it simple. There’s no need to make your tired minds work. We didn’t senselessly torture you for fun. As you may or may not know, the Insanity Virus is fatal and thought incurable until a couple of months ago when we found out how it worked. Essentially, it destroys the cells in certain parts of the brain along with blood cells before finally killing the host. We don’t know exactly what is different in you eight and other infected people but only certain people catch this airborne virus._

_We found out that it stops attacking the brain at the point when visible shrinkage of the brain and an important change in mental patterns can be seen. Well it doesn’t just stops, it dies. At that point, the host is beyond saving and dies. It’s its purpose; to eat away the brain while replicating itself and destroying blood cells._

_With that discovery and the growing desperation, we came to a conclusion. We might be able to trick the virus into dying if we replicate what it does to the human brain. What could best change brain activity were things such as trauma and mental instability or insanity. Victims usually start to act strange in their last two weeks which further enforced that insanity could be the cure. The virus made it easier for us because it weakens the host’s “mental strength” which makes it easier to truly impact the infected person within a short amount of time._

_Drugs could have been used but they are unsafe and that’s why they are being tested. We had to resort to other ways of causing someone to live though a traumatic event. We have tried a few ways but they all failed because it was too sudden, too brutal. It needed to be gradual. And that’s why the “treatment” takes three months. That’s right, you might feel like you’ve been here for much longer but it has only being three months. And we tried it in China and it succeeded. That’s why you’re here._

_You eight along with eight girls are special though. You sixteen teenagers of various ages represent Japan. Oh, and I assure you that your siblings are safe and unharmed. They don’t have the virus so we haven’t done anything to them. Anyhow, you are special because you will save everyone else in your country._

_We have installed microchips into your brains to record everything from the day you came here to now. We will then replicate and edit the content and make other infected persons watch it, or rather dream it. This will cure them without causing them physical harm. Know that you aren’t the only ones going through this. Almost every country has to make sacrifices to save others. You might be angry that you had to go through all that for them but at least you get to live on even if you might not want to right now._

_If it wasn’t for all this, you would be dying sometime this year. The medical checkups you all took recently saved your lives. We wouldn’t have known you were infected until it would be too late. I want to take this time to say a little something. I know I shouldn’t bother but I want to say it anyways. Please forgive your parents. Try to be in their shoes. You were all dying and it was the only way to save you._

_Okay, sorry. We have developed something to counteract the effects of the psychological strain inflected on you. Erasing your memories. We found a way to erase specific memories from the brain. It’s still new but the chances of success are higher than the chances of failure. I’m sure none of you are willing to live with these memories for the rest of your lives. Neither do most of us over on the side who is giving the pain._

_And with all that said, Toe Labs apologizes for all we’ve done to you. The next time you will wake up, you’ll be at home with no memories of this.”_

Paul bowed before the screen turned off and the rooms’ doors opened.

The boys were taken away to end everything.


	30. Waking up to Injuries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written by AERS_Radio.
> 
> In which Makoto sees his siblings again, we find out who Rei gets his habit for theatricals from, Haru takes a bath and Momo has a nightmare.
> 
> This is a follow-up to End 1.

The first thing Makoto noticed when he woke up was how sore he was. His movements were limited by the tension of his damaged skin, and his back stung as he took in a deep breath. He let out a miserable groan of discomfort.

“Oh! Mama!”, he heard a high-pitched voice call from one side. “He's waking up! Come quickly!”

“Yeah,  _onii-chan_ 's waking up!”, a second voice added, shouting over the top of the other.

“Another minute or two, the  _sakurayu_ 's nearly done”, came a reply from another room. “Don't be rough with him, remember!”

Makoto opened his eyes in the direction the voices came from. Ren and Ran were there, grinning from ear to ear. They were fine. The only sign of pain on their bodies was a cat scratch on the girl's right forearm. Makoto thought nothing of it, he felt no relief that they were ok, because, of course, his memory of being told that they had been taken to the lab was gone. His memory of the very existence of the lab was gone. His memory of receiving so many belt lashes that he'd lost count in between the first and second round was gone, and he quickly assumed, given that he was largely bandaged, that he'd been in some sort of accident.

“We've missed you so much,  _onii-chan_ ”, Ran said.

“Yeah, we're happy you're home”, Ren added.

“Wheh* **cough** *...Wha...? Where was I?”, Makoto managed to ask, before he brought his left hand to massage his throat, trying to work out why it was so dry.

“You were gone for three months,  _onii-chan_ ”, answered Ren. “You got sick and had to leave the country to get better.”

“Hey, Mama said to leave her and Papa to talk about that”, Ran argued, sticking her elbow out at her brother.

“What? I'm just saying what they told us!”, the male twin argued back. Their mother arrived and settled the dispute.

“Now, you two, behave!”, she said, bringing in a tray, which she put on the desk, before going over to the bed. “Honestly, is this how you're going to act in front of your brother you haven't seen in months?” She kneeled next to Makoto and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Hello, Makoto”, she said, emotionally. “Can you sit up?”

Makoto tried to move by himself, but it was hard work. His mother moved some pillows around to support him as he pushed back on his arms. She then went back to fetch the tray, which had unfolding legs, and it was thus placed over Makoto's waist. The drink was a cherry blossom tisane, traditionally reserved for major events and symbolizing a new beginning. It told Makoto something important had happened to him, but he hadn't a clue of what. He managed to croak out a quick “why?”.

“We'll talk about it when your father gets back from work”, his mother said. “Meanwhile, welcome home.”

Makoto spent the next half-hour or so listening to his siblings, which cheered him up and progressively made him forget his stiffness. Then his father entered the house, overjoyed to hear that his son was awake again. His wife had made lots of cakes, more than Makoto could ever have eaten alone even during his growing spurt (and goodness knows he turned out tall), but it was done on purpose, so that the whole Tachibana family could share them. Makoto actually didn't eat many in his state, while his parents had to tell their younger children to not get sick by scoffing the lot.

After a while, the spouses ordered Ren and Ran to leave the bedroom, so that they could have a quiet, calm word with Makoto. They told him that he'd taken part in an experiment to trial a cure for the Insanity Virus, which otherwise would have killed him, and that his memories of that trial had been erased, thankfully. He still bore the physical memories of the test though, and his parents were honest with him: he had been tortured.

“Please, Makoto, we weren't told they were going to hurt you”, the father confessed. “We thought you'd be trying out a drug or a vaccine. We expected side-effects, but not like this. And the lab says that you're as good as cured.”

Makoto's expression was grave while being told all this. He managed to register it all, and ultimately held no grudge. He agreed that he would rather be in a little pain for a few weeks in the comfort of his home and his family's love than be dead. He smiled his unmistakable smile, and his parents knew that they were forgiven. Unfortunately, he didn't have it in his voice to converse for long, and decided to wait for the next day to ask about how his friends had got on during his absence.

 

***

When Rei woke up, he was, at first, unhappy. He wasn't in his normal bed pose. One arm and one leg of his were raised, and in plaster casing. Of course, they had to be opposites: left arm, right leg. Not beautiful.

“Wait a minute!”, he yelled, startling his parents seated next to him. “What's happened to me?! Why am I bandaged like this?” Come to think of it, his voice wasn't as powerful as usual either. His voice-box felt used, eerily as if it had been run down by large quantities of screaming in the previous weeks.

“Easy, champ”, his father called. “You're safe and sound.”

“ _Oto-san_!”, Rei spluttered, turning his head to make his eyes meet his father's. “ _Oka-san_!”, he blurted next, upon seeing his mother.

“We're so happy you've come back to us!”, she chirped. She and her husband would have certainly loved to hug their son then, but the restrained position Rei was in, not to mention his fragile physical state, made it impossible to do so.

“Er, I guess I'm happy too...”, Rei grumbled, struggling to get over his discontentment at not having an explanation to his situation yet. “So... what happened?”

“Oh, you were in a fight, my boy”, the father said. That didn't help Rei one bit.

“In a fight?”, he repeated, deadpan. “Me? In a fight with another person? Are you serious?!” His parents exchanged a chuckle and a complicit glance, before the father turned back and spoke again.

“You were in a fight against a deadly enemy. It lasted months. You've come back damaged and with no memories of it, but you beat it. You won! And because you fought so well, many, many lives will be saved. You're a hero, Rei!”

Rei still couldn't make any sense of what his father was telling him, but the look on his face was unmistakable. It was the both endeared and determined look that only a father proud of his son could produce. After a moment, he switched to looking at his mother, who sported the same expression.

“Alright, I believe you”, he whispered. The explanation would have to do for now. It made sense that he was hurt if he had been in a fight, and, if it was for a just cause, he guessed it had been worth it. He needed to rest and recover first, maybe he'd get a fuller story later. Nonetheless, once his brain started working on those words again after that soul-gazing moment with his parents, he noticed that the fight had “lasted months”.

“If it's been so long, how are my friends? Did they know I was gone?”

Once more, Rei's parents turned to each other, and their faces turned grave. His mother came forward, taking Rei's right hand.

“Honey”, she said, “they were in the fight too.”

“Even... Nagisa-kun...?”, Rei inquired with a trembling voice. His mother closed her eyes and shook her head. Rei feared the worst.

“He's alive”, the father said. “He'll pull through, but it'll probably take longer for him to heal than you. So you concentrate on getting better, then you can help Nagisa-kun. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. He'll need it.”

Rei and Nagisa, laying in neighboring wards of the hospital, were faced with injuries of a different nature. Rei's were a collection of blunt force traumas – cuts, bruises, and the odd fracture –, and these would mend, while Nagisa was inarticulate, so feeble he probably couldn't move anything by himself, and his breathing was seriously constricted. The doctors couldn't decide whether it was a good idea to wake him up, given the shock it would be for him to see that he'd become so weak “overnight” (in his memory at least). But at the same time, they couldn't put much strength back into him if he was kept asleep.

It was a cruel situation for his parents. The Ryugazaki couple had seen them before taking their place beside their son, and the Hazukis' faces, so distressed and desolate, and their words, “he's totally crippled, we can barely recognize him”, had made them wonder what state they would find their boy in. Rei's parents kept those details to themselves for now, and tried to focus on their lot, which was already not a happy one.

 

***

The Nanases wouldn't have it any other way: they told their son precisely what had happened: how the lab had approached them, informed them that a school-wide health check had revealed that Haru had contracted the world-infamous Insanity Virus, and offered them to embark their boy on an experimental therapy. The father asked the well-mannered man, who had introduced himself as “ _something_  Hayate, but you can just call me Hayate”, if everyone infected at the school was going. The man answered no, and then, just as the parents looked at each other, wondering why their son and not another would have the privilege of trying this therapy out, he dropped the bombshell: Rin, Makoto and Nagisa were going. That obliterated any hesitation the couple had. Haru would be better off fighting for his life with his friends around him and potentially being cured, than slipping into dementia alone at home. Of course, Haru had no memory of the therapy, so he didn't grasp how ironically accurate the term “fighting for his life” was.

Physically, Haru was one of the least diminished of the eight test subjects. All that swimming in the third stage had kept his muscles going. Standing up, he looked frail due to the lack of food, but was able to get around unaided. His parents smiled with satisfaction when they saw him pick out a swimsuit from his wardrobe and proclaim “I'm going to use the bath for a while”. Their boy hadn't changed. They left him to it, promising a nice plate of mackerel and rice when he came out.

And Haru was really looking forward to both. In his lifestyle before the experiment, a bath was the first step of his day, so talking to his parents after waking up had sort of put him behind schedule. At least he'd gain time by not having to cook. The sight and sound of the water filling up the tub amplified his anticipation. He changed into his swimsuit, found his toy dolphin and thought of Makoto. When his attention turned back to the bathtub, it was not far from full, so he tested the water with his index. The temperature was what he expected. He tossed the dolphin in with his left hand, shook off the drop of water on his right hand, and turned the taps off. “It's not a pool, but it'll do for now”, he thought, raising one leg to get in.

That was when he started to feel the heat. Had he misjudged the temperature of the water? No, it wasn't that. As his other leg came over the edge, he found himself having to hold on to the sides with his hands. This wasn't usual. He put it down to his state, whatever that meant. He was hungry. That was it: he was hungrier than usual, thinner than the last time he remembered taking a bath, so that's got to be it.

He let himself slide in. He'd normally dip himself in completely, but this time, he stopped short. Once again, he blamed his form. “Oh well”, he thought, “I'll go in gently, just relax a moment before putting my head under.”

Only he didn't relax. He was incapable of relaxing. The water felt uncomfortable on his skin. His body was tensing up. His breathing got heavier. He didn't like it in the water and he didn't know why, but  _he_ _felt_ _in danger_ _there_ _. “Get out!”, his mind shrieked, “Get out!_ _GET OUT,_ _ **NOW**_ _ **WHILE YOU CAN**_ _ **!**_ _”_

His arms and legs obeyed, and he hastily clambered over the edge of the bath, falling onto the floor. Haru scrambled away slightly, and sat in the puddle forming beneath him, facing the bath and staring at it in disbelief and shock, attempting to come to terms with what had just happened and that he didn't seem to have control of. “Is my body rejecting water?”, he thought to his baffled self.

His parents rushed in when they heard the thud. “Haruka, what happened? Are you hurt?”, his mother asked, wrapping a towel around him. “Did you slip?”, questioned his father, “do you need us to help you in?”

“No, don't put me back in there”, Haru managed to answer urgently. It took his parents by surprise. A few minutes ago, they were confident his core was unaltered and that getting him back to normal would be easy. Now there was a sudden realization that something big was wrong, that the road to recovery would be much windier than first thought.

 

***

_Some months later._

Seijuro watched his younger brother hesitantly prod his food with his chopsticks. His usually brash sibling was quiet, and looked depressed.

“Not hungry this morning, Momo?”, he remarked. Momotaro frowned and pushed the bowl of rice away slightly.

“I had a scary nightmare last night”, he confessed.

“I know, I heard you shout”, Seijuro replied. “I knocked but you said you were ok. Want to talk about it now? It might make you feel better.”

“I don't know how recalling it will help. I feel shook up now, but it'll go away, I guess.”

“Come on”, Seijuro insisted. “It won't help if it stays there, playing on your mind.”

Momotaro took a deep breath and started talking about being in a dark, stone-walled room, like a dungeon, with shackles. The only light came from a television screen in a corner. Someone forced him to sit down and restrained him with the shackles, before putting a collar around his neck.

“If I moved my head or closed my eyes, the collar would give me an electric shock”, he explained. “I had to watch the screen. It was blinding, tiring, but the images on it were clear. Very precise... The pictures... I've never seen anything so disgusting. People being carved with knives, opened, dissected...” Momo grimaced and covered his eyes, pushing his bowl of soup away. “I puked all over my shirt. Then someone changed the video. The next bit was about... sewing two people together by the side or something. I had to watch this operation on a boy... they cut open his side... Then blank screen. The big guy came back in the room and said they didn't finish the operation...”

At this point, Momo got shaky and his eyes started to water up. He lifted the right-hand side of his T-shirt to mimic what happened next as he told it: “he ripped off my shirt, pointed here... and he said “see? not finished!”. I saw the scars, they were arranged exactly like in the video! I was so terrified I couldn't move... And he got out a scalpel, said “now we finish”... I woke up just as he cut into me... I held my side, then looked... My scars were the same as in the dream!”

His brother had explained to him that the scars he had on his abdomen were the marks of an operation he had needed to combat the virus. He realized that they coincided with the ones shown in the video, and that they could, in fact, indicate a failed conjoining experiment. That was why he had screamed in the night.

Seijuro got up and came around the table to comfort Momotaro who had broken down. The dream had felt so real to the younger Mikoshiba, yet he swore, “I could never bear to live through something like that”.

Ultimately, talking about it had helped. Momo felt lighter, and managed to eat some of his breakfast, although at a slow pace, with the morning news on the television behind him. After his final preparations, Seijuro passed by, about to leave for his university, when a report on the Insanity Virus came on. He decided to watch it, as it kept him informed about what his brother had been taken away for. A new variant of the virus was on the run, but Dr. Paul Harvey, of Toe Labs, was reassuring.

“This new strain has mutated enough for everyone to be at risk, even those who may have contracted it before. However, its weak point remains the same, so the solutions developed by Toe Labs are still applicable. If you feel unsure, just visit one of our partner outposts anywhere in the country, a blood sample will be taken and we will act if necessary. Our treatment has the advantage of being stealthy: no hospitalization, no drugs. You won't even know you had the virus.”

“I don't like the look of  _him_ ”, Momotaro moaned after taking a glance at the screen over his shoulder. Seijuro held back a chuckle. After all, he had met Paul when he had brought the Japanese test subjects home, and the head of the InViCide Team at the company had made a good impression on him. He hadn't explained to him more about the antiviral process than what he'd just said on TV, but suddenly it did occur to the athletic red-haired man that his younger sibling had had a blood test in the previous week. Followed by Momo's powerful nightmare, and now the news report...

“Coincidences can be funny”, Seijuro thought, walking out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you but I like this chapter. Isn't it well written? Thanks, AERS_Radio!


	31. End 2 Part 1 SouRin ( and Gou?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm so sorry for making you wait this long. I just didn't have the inspiration but today thanks to a message, I went and wrote it. I hope it's good enough.

_A year and a few months after the AMR project._

It wasn’t the good life for the boys but it wasn’t the hell they had lived through a year ago. Their memories were intact and they just wished they would up and vanish one day.

Sousuke and Rin were now living together as the instructions from the Lab suggested.

It was obvious Rin had changed. It was easy to tell from how soft his eyes had gotten. The usually fierce strength he had in them was now gone. His eyes weren't the only thing that had gotten softer. His actions and words had also toned down. He didn't get angry at all anymore and he didn't speak out his thoughts unless it was necessary. In other words, he learned to deal with things he didn't enjoy.

More troublesome effects followed the experiment. He had low tolerance for crowds and started hyperventilating whenever he had to be in one. He also hated the touch of others. It made him remember unpleasant things to say the least. He praised the gods for the fact that he was in a town and not in a city like Tokyo and Sydney. This was why he was home-schooled thanks to his grandmother.

There was a problem though. Unlike when he was in the dorms, he saw Gou everyday now. He hadn't looked at her in the eyes in months and only now had he dared to look her way. It was obvious she felt lonely and it broke his heart but he just couldn't bring himself to interact with her. He felt like he was far too vile to set his eyes on her.

For Sousuke, the change wasn’t so obvious. He kept himself in check with pills and his will not to worry Rin unnecessarily. His paranoia among other problems made him not too safe for school so he was also home-schooled and learned the same things as Rin though the latter was much more advanced than he was. The changes in him were subtle but still visible.

He couldn't stand a silent, still room. That was why he always had music playing and a fan moving at all times. He also didn't eat much even when hungry. He only ate food he made himself which sharpened his cooking skills. His eyes were constantly moving but it wasn’t noticeable unless you were watching him closely. Little noises made him panic and he always had to tell himself it was nothing.

His insomnia may be to blame for the noises he randomly heard. His body always expected electric shocks when he was trying to sleep which led to him waking up before he can fall asleep. He had to take a special pill to fall asleep almost every day. All this had led to a lot of fainting but he was long past this stage.

It was now far into the evening. The sky was illuminated by the moon but it was still very dark.

Sousuke swallowed two minuscule pills in one go. The first one kept him nightmare-free, but also dream-free, and the second made sure his previous trouble could even _be_ a problem.

He knocked and opened the door to Rin’s room. His heart skipped a bit when he saw how dimly lit the room was. Rin looked up when Sousuke flipped the light switch on, illuminating brightly the room. He made sure to be a few feet away from Rin as he made his way to the neatly arranged bed in the room.. He played with the earphones he had with him at all time.

“I think you’ve studied enough. You should go to sleep for the night.” He said to him as his eyes followed the earphones' trajectory.

Rin just shook his head.

“My mom called. That was enough of a break.” He replied quietly.

Sousuke was always worried Rin would faint from exhaustion. He now worked hours after hours with barely any breaks. Their tutor didn’t give him papers to do but Rin always found something to work on thanks to the internet and his old school books. Sousuke had to bring him his food daily and force him to take breaks. It was tiring to take care of him all the time, but Rin dealt with Sousuke's unusual behavior without any complaints so he also dealt with his in return.

Sousuke’s eyes moved to the ceiling fan which was moving at a low speed.

“I saw your sister crying earlier today.” He began.

Rin slowly looked up in his direction.

“It’s because of you, you know. You need to talk to her and not only her but everyone else. You’ve distanced yourself from everyone. You don’t even have to see them; a phone call is enough. They all want to know you’re fine, especially Gou.”

Sousuke knew Rin wanted to tell him he was being annoying since he always nagged him to talk to his friends but like usual, Rin kept it in and said nothing.

Sousuke almost wanted to be yelled at but it wasn’t happening. He sighed in defeat and stood up.

“I’ll check to see if you’re sleeping in half an hour so you better drop that pencil and go shower.”

He left the room with those words.

Rin was conflicted. He wanted to keep studying so there would be no reason for him to be penalized for something, but then again, there would be a punishment of some sort if he didn’t listen to Sousuke. He knew Sousuke meant well and he _was_ tired so he decided to listen to him and go shower.

He heard his grandmother’s voice as he left his room.

“You can buy yourself something too if you want. Thank you, sweetie.”

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He heard Gou reply.

In an instant, she was in front of him. The two ran into each other and Gou stumbled back. Rin’s old self would have reached for her but right now, he didn’t dare lay a finger on her. Thankfully, she didn’t fall. She looked up and her eyes widened.

“Ah…”

Her eyes went back down and she started walking around him, keeping her distance.

“You’re going out at this time?”

They were both shocked at the sound of these uttered words. Gou stopped dead in her tracks and Rin blinked in surprise. Why had he said that? He thought back to Sousuke’s words a moment ago and realized that he had unconsciously listened to him.

“Um, I’ll be fine.” She replied.

She took a step forward but soon stopped when she heard her brother’s words.

“I’ll come with you.”

 She slowly turned to him, her eyes filled with disbelief.

“…Really? Why?”

A second didn't have time to pass before she started regretting her words.

 _You should have just said yes immediately, you idiot_!  She internally screamed at herself.

Rin's eyes wandered around her face without meeting her eyes.

“It’s not safe to be outside at this time.” He said slowly like he was wondering if it was really him speaking.

Gou’s eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away.

“Yes, come with me!” She exclaimed happily.

Rin looked away and brought a hand to his hair.

“I’ll go get ready.”

\---

It had been a while since he had taken a step out of his house. He was now reminded why he didn’t leave the comfort of his home.

Outside was scary. Strangers walked around you and anything could happen. It was even worst at night even if there weren’t many people which he was grateful for. Who knew who could knock him out and kidnap him? At home, he at least had a sense of security. Here, he didn’t know what could be done to him in these lone streets. He seriously regretted his decision.

His sister started humming a joyous tune and his eyes naturally went to her. The two were far apart but not enough for it to seem like they were walking separately.

It was surprising how much she had changed in the past year. She now looked much more mature and now she somehow looked prettier than he had ever seen her before. Being outside alone at night made beauty a curse. He was here though which meant it was safer for her, if even a little bit.

That thought made part of his regrets vanish.

She had changed so much yet he didn’t know because he refused to look at her. Right now, alone with her, he was ready to start looking at her; to stop ignoring her like he had done the past year. She didn’t deserve such treatment and he knew it very well.

They soon reach the convenience store. Gou grabbed the milk and bread she needed and took an extra chocolate bar. She gave the money to the cashier who smiled at her.

“It’s nice of your brother to accompany you so late at night.” She said to Gou as she put the money away.

Gou’s face took a pink hue and she found herself once again blinking tears away.

“I know!” She said with pure joy in her voice.

Rin looked at her smiling face and guilt assaulted him.

 _I’m a terrible brother. How can you be happy? You should be angry I’ve ignored you all this time. I don’t deserve to have so much love from you directed towards me_.

These guilt-ridden thoughts spun around in his mind has the two left the store.

He walked a few feet behind her, his mouth opening and closing over and over again. He wanted to apologize but no matter what he thought of, it wasn’t enough. He jumped when she suddenly turned around to face him.

He unconsciously looked into her eyes and his own widened when he saw the sad smile on her lips.

“Onii-chan…” She called out. “I get it. I get why you refuse to look at me. I want you to know….”

She looked down, her hands gripping the plastic bags tightly.

“I want you to know I still love you. You’re the same Rin I grew up with, no matter what.”

She took a step forward and it took all of Rin’s willpower not to take a step back.

“It doesn’t matter what happened to you. You’re my brother and I love you and I forever will.”

She took another step and Rin unconsciously leaned back.

“So, please…” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Please look at me, talk to me. Just… know that I exist and that I can help you!” She yelled, her voice cracking.

Rin stared at his sister, something he hadn’t done in over a year. Tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes and her lips were quivering. She didn’t look like she was accusing him of anything. She just looked sad and near hopeless. Rin opened his mouth slowly.

“I’m sorry.” He let out in a whisper.

Even after all the thinking he had done, his apology still came out half-hearted. He wanted to hit himself.

Gou carelessly dropped her bags on the floor and spread out her arms.

“I’ll forgive you if you give me a hug.”

Rin could tell from her eyes that she was joking but she really was expecting a hug which put him in a bad position.

He looked at her for a moment before taking a deep breath and taking a step forward. Gou gave him an encouraging smile as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her.

His fear didn’t come full force like he expected. He wasn’t shaking like he had back there. He didn’t want to run away like he did everyday back there. He knew why he wasn’t absolutely terrified. The person in his arms wasn’t a man, no, it was his little sister. And the strange thing about this was that he was starting to enjoy her warmth.

He heard her sniffle as tears of his own formed in his eyes. Before they knew it, they were both crying.

“I’m so sorry, Gou.” Rin let out, his voice high.

She hummed in response, telling him it was fine. He was happy to be in her arms. It had been a while since he felt such joy and relief. It was very welcomed and he took in all the nice feelings he could from it.

Droplets of rain interrupted their hug.

“We better get home.” Gou said, her eyes red and puffy but a smile on her face.

Rin nodded with a sniffle and the two ran back home, now closer to one another.

\---

When they came back home, thunder and lightning livened up the sky. The house was nearly pitch-black. Their grandmother came to them with a candle in her hands. Obviously, the electricity didn’t work anymore.

“Thank goodness, you two are safe.” She looked at them with big eyes when the candle illuminated their faces. “What happened to you two?”

The two smiled at her and her eyes widened. That was when she noticed Rin wasn’t as far away from Gou as he usually was. She had found it hard to believe that Rin had chosen to go with her but she never expected such progress to happen.

She walked closer to Rin who, to her surprise, didn’t immediately back away as if it was a reflex. He didn’t avoid her gaze like he did so often though he wasn’t looking at her in the eyes either. She hesitantly took his hands in his and was overjoyed to see that Rin had made no move to yank his hands away.

Her smile warmed his heart and he felt tears sting his eyes again. He lowered his head.

“I’m sorry, grandma. I’ll try to change, I promise.”

She squeezed his hands.

“Take your time. I…” She looked over at Gou. “We’ll be waiting.”

Rin nodded and his grandmother hesitantly let go. She looked upstairs with worry.

“Now, go help Sousuke. You know he hates thunderstorms. To add to that, the electricity gave up on us.”

Rin nearly gasped. He had totally forgotten this important fact. He had no idea how Sousuke was right now. He hurried upstairs. He knocked twice and entered Sousuke's room. Like he expected, Sousuke was curled up in the corner of the room, candles dangerously closed to his body and his earphones in his ears. His eyes never stayed in place. They moved in every direction before stopping on Rin.

Usually, Rin was at his side as soon as the first flash of lightning struck. He always sat a few feet away from Sousuke just to keep him company. It unsettled him to see Sousuke turn back into the frightened boy he had transformed into every time a storm unleashed it's fury on their house. He didn’t look any better now despite all the elapsed months since the experiment.

Rin nervously walked over to him, Sousuke's eyes following him all the while. Rin could hear music from where he was standing. His music was never usually this loud. In fact, he currently looked worst than he normally would.

The reason Sousuke always had his earphones and music player was so he could listen to music when it was too quiet for his taste or when he was in extreme panic. He could barely hear it since he didn’t like to put it loudly and his senses, especially his ears, have degraded, but even the little sounds in his ears could succeed in calming him down.

Rin suddenly realized his mistake. He was late, way too late. Rin was usually here in an instant but the thunderstorm had started some time ago and he wasn’t there to immediately calm Sousuke down. Rin took small steps toward him.

“I’m sorry, Sousuke.” Rin murmured.

Sousuke didn’t answer, he just stared at him. He probably hadn’t even heard his apology. Rin couldn't help but notice how much they were both shaking. He crouched down in front of him and Sousuke’s eyes widened in response. Rin got to work.

He started taking the candles away as little breaths escaped his friend's mouth.

“What are you doing?” Sousuke shouted at him as he leaned forward with surprising speed.

Rin reflexively backed away, fear clearly showing in his eyes. His arms were protectively close to himself and his hands were ready to push the other boy away if he had to. The candle had nearly burned Rin’s hand and Sousuke soon realized that. The latter gave his friend an apologetic look and leaned back against the wall, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. Rin calmed himself down and continued moving away the candles, this time paying closer attention to the other being in ahead of him.

Sousuke didn’t yell at him again but his fear kept growing more and more as the candles diminished in numbers. By the time a single candle was left, Sousuke was a whimpering mess. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and his body was shaking with enough strength to make the breaths leaving his mouth shake. Rin wanted to pull the earphones out of Sousuke's ears by the string but he didn't want to risk hurting him or breaking the important item. With that thought, he swallowed to gather up his courage and reached for Sousuke’s ears with shaking hands. Startled eyes stared at him as he removed the valuable object from his ears and set them down.

Sousuke searched for Rin’s gaze and the latter actually caught it. The two gazed into each other’s eyes without interruption. Sousuke was shocked to say the least. Not only was Rin close to him but he was also looking at him in the eyes. His eyes weren’t weak and submissive, they were strong and encouraging despite the quivering lips under them.

“I’m going to change. I’m going to overcome my fears.” Rin whispered.

Before he realized what was happening, Rin’s arms were wrapped around him in an embrace. Sousuke's surprise kept him from reacting. He then felt it. Rin was shaking. Shaking violently. Despite that, he wasn’t backing away. On the contrary, he was squeezing with so much intensity that it was difficult to breathe.

Rin resisted the urge to run away despite the surprisingly clear memories flooding his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of something he loved. It wasn't an easy task. The person in his arms was now a man and he could barely deal with this fact. He ignored the broad shoulders and firm muscles. Sousuke needed this and it he used that as his source of strength.

Thunder suddenly boomed, loud and sudden. Sousuke’s heart nearly stopped and he began hyperventilating as violently as Rin was shaking. Thoughts of running far, far away sprung to mind as his breath hitched. Rin gently caressed his back and Sousuke's breathing slowly but gradually slowed down to long, heavy breaths.

“Shh, it’s fine.” Rin whispered into his ear.

Sousuke noticed that Rin’s shaking had changed into a light trembling. He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes. It had really been a while since he had made any kind of contact with his friend. He buried his face in his shoulder and relaxed completely.

Gou and her grandmother, who had been watching carefully, smiled at them before closing the door and leaving the two completely alone.


	32. End 2 part 2 Reigisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa thinks back to his time in the hospital and what he found out about Rei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this crappy writing haha. Motivation/inspiration is lacking.

_A year and a few months after the AMR project._

It wasn’t the good life for the boys but it wasn’t the hell they had lived through a year ago. Their memories were intact and they just wished they would up and vanish one day.

It had only been a handful of months since Nagisa and Rei started living together.

Nagisa had moved into Rei’s home and it changed quite a bit since he first stepped foot into it two years ago. Everything was perfect and clean. Nothing was out of place or asymmetrical. It actually bothered Nagisa a bit when he first moved in but he had since gotten used to it. The tidiness didn’t only extend to his house. Rei himself showered a lot and kept himself groomed even when going to bed. What was worrisome was how much Rei chewed on his fingers, nails and lips. The extreme chewing usually drew blood and caused scars but Rei never stopped in spite of this. It was his way of causing himself minimal pain to keep him on the right path. It didn’t always work and he had to resort to more alarming behaviors at times. Neat and uniform scars crawled on the skin of his arms.

Nagisa also had repetitive behavior. He was always moving something whether he was sitting down or standing. At school, he usually played with his pencils or swung his feet back and forth. He now ate less and instead ate more sweets and even spicy, chewy things. His body also sometimes had random twitches as if to scold him for staying immobile. It scared everyone, including himself, every time it happened.

He also wasn’t scared of mice, spiders, and snakes anymore or any creepy-crawler for that matter. Now he didn’t kill spiders when he saw them crawl on the wall back at Rei’s house. Instead, he watched them attentively. He wasn’t a ball of energy nor did he talk much anymore which bothered Rei to no end. He was used to seeing a joyous Nagisa. He had gotten better as the months passed which was a good sign.

A strong wind lifted everything in its way and the clouds obscured the sun.

Nagisa was resting on Rei’s laps, enjoying the cool breeze. His crutches were on the grass beside him, neglected by their owner. A strawberry-flavored gum moved around in his mouth. He had become obsessed with gum back when he was still in the hospital. It was perfect. Full of flavor and his mouth didn’t stop moving. His doctor had suggested it and now he spent most of his days chewing a gum unless he was in class. He opted for hard candies instead.

He lightly drummed his fingers on Rei’s calf. The latter wasn’t bothered by this habit anymore. It ruined how still everything was and it bothered him but he chose to leave it be. He had started to cope with it when he realized Nagisa’s fingers weren’t moving randomly, but with a certain rhythm. It was the same every time so he tolerated it.

“It’s finally going to rain.” Nagisa said as he looked at the dark clouds and felt the humidity on his skin.

“A storm's coming. We better get home before it starts.” Rei replied as he followed Nagisa’s gaze.

Nagisa sat up and turned to face his friend. The two looked at each other and Rei's eyes narrowed. He knew what the blond boy was thinking.

“It’s a lightning storm, we can’t stay outside.” He sighed.

Nagisa’s eyes moved to the lake a couple of feet away from where they were sitting.

“Maybe the lightning will heal my muscles or something, who knows?” He said quietly.

Rei stared at him. Nagisa was serious.

“Or it will kill you.” Rei said as Nagisa’s eyes came back to him.

Nagisa shrugged. It was disturbing to Rei to see how casually his friend had shrugged death off.

“I could always try.” Was Nagisa's response.

Rei couldn’t take it anymore. He shook his head and got up. He held out his hand as he did so often now.

“Let’s go, Nagisa-kun.”

His voice was nearly authoritative and Nagisa had no choice but to reach for his hands, a little guilty smile on his lips. When he tried to get up, his grip on Rei’s hands slipped and he had to grab Rei’s forearms to keep from falling.

He was horrified by the reaction. Rei hissed in pain and nearly let go of Nagisa’s hands. Nagisa was soon fully up though he was leaning on Rei for support. He stared ahead over Rei’s shoulder.

“Rei-chan.”

Rei knew this tone. It was the tone a parent used when their child did something wrong. And like a child, Rei felt guilty. Nagisa leaned back a little to glare at Rei who avoided his gaze. He pulled back Rei’s long sleeves to see perfectly straight dark lines the length of both his arms.

Nagisa bit his lip at the sight. It had been a while since he had last seen this. He despised how this wasn’t the first time he had caught the sight of this.  

Rei didn’t have anything to say in his defense so he said the only appropriate thing to say.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun. I know I made a promise.”

Rei couldn’t help it. He could barely control himself when he felt the revolting urge to cause himself pain. It was too strong to fight against.

“And you broke it multiple times already.” Nagisa replied immediately.

Rei hung his head in shame. The sight of the scars brought back memories into Nagisa’s mind. The scenes played out in his mind like they were from the present instead of the past.

\---

Nagisa remembered clearly how he felt when he first woke up after the experiment. Utter confusion engulfed him as he looked around the hospital room he was in before he remembered what happened to him and the confusion turned into despair and helplessness. He remembered that one of his first thoughts was: _“Why am I still alive?”._ He expected to die from the pathetic state he was in but he was well except for his troubled muscles.

He spent his days in the hospital waiting for his therapy to give results, but to him nothing was changing and it felt like he could give up on moving around. That was when he wanted to give up on the miserable life he had. but thankfully the day he finally saw Rei came.

To him, Rei was a savior of some kind. He was truly ready to give up on trying to improve his life when Rei suddenly came to visit him one day. Nagisa didn’t know how to feel at the time. It was a mix of shock, guilt, joy, and much more, all swirling around in his heart.

Shock to see that his friend was alive, guilt because he had watched him get beaten up without being able to do anything and joy to see that Rei survived after all and was well. Thinking back, he wondered why he hadn't met anyone when the experiment was finished. He guessed nobody had been ready to see the others yet. He hadn't woken up until he was back in Japan on a hospital bed, his parents at his side, so he didn't have the chance to see anyone else. Of course, he had asked for Rei but his parents telling him that his friend was alive just felt so surreal to him and he hadn't believed it until he was in front of him.

It was surprising to see Rei cry. He started crying as soon as he saw Nagisa on his bed, dreary eyes staring at the ceiling. It wasn't the first time Rei had taken him in his arms but it might as well have been. It was all it took for Nagisa to keep on going. The thought that maybe, one day, he would be able to properly hug him back gave him the strength to keep going and work hard.

And that was the day the daily visits started. Nagisa was thankful. Rei was there every single day during the months he stayed in the hospital without a single missed day. Nagisa always looked forward to his visit which was always at the exact same time. It was the highlight of his day and kept him on the track to recovery. He was there when he felt the absolute joy of moving his fingers by himself after weeks of therapy and tears.

But one day, he discovered something he never wanted to know. It was a normal day like any but Nagisa noticed a little something. It was over thirty degrees Celsius outside and Rei was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and his then long hair was covering his neck instead of being tied up.

“Aren’t you hot?” He asked him.

Rei shook his head but it was an obvious lie. Nagisa could see the sweat on Rei’s forehead despite the long hair. Nagisa didn't feel like being lied to, not after all the lies he had been fed by so many people, so he forced it out of him. A lot of staring later, Rei was forced to speak up.

“I hurt myself and it left an ugly mark. There is no need to worry about me.”

Nagisa remembered clearly how ridiculous the response sounded. And so, with his newly functional hands, he reached for Rei’s sleeves. Rei didn’t have the heart to push Nagisa’s weak grip away so he surrendered and let the smaller boy lift his sleeves.

Nagisa gasped despite himself.

He saw scars.

 _Scars that he inflicted on himself_ , he realized.

 All he could do was stare at his bespectacled friend’s face.

“Why? Why would you do this to yourself, Rei-chan?”

His voice was quiet because he was so scared to lose Rei. He was his support and if he ever left, Nagisa would crumble at the slightest obstacle. He was scared for both his own sake and his friend’s sake.

Rei stared at Nagisa’s face, a growing helplessness in his heart. Tears finally formed in his eyes and Nagisa blinked in surprise. Rei dropped to the chair below him and grabbed Nagisa’s small hands.

“I’m messed-up, Nagisa-kun, I’m not normal anymore. Every time I have nightmares about what happened a year ago…”

He shook his head with energy as tears fell down his cheeks.

“I just…"

He stopped talking to gather his words.

"My body starts craving pain and I can’t do anything about it except to listen to it… I can’t resist it! I don’t even want to die! It’s just that my body misses it. I’m truly messed-up…”

His voice trailed off and he continued crying softly, his tears falling on the long scars. It took a moment for Nagisa to figure out what to do. He pulled his hands away and brought them to Rei's cheek. The latter opened his eyes and looked up.

“You’ve never been normal from the start, Rei-chan.” Nagisa said softly.

Rei blinked and two tears fell from his eyes and unto Nagisa’s hands.

“You’re fine, Rei-chan. I’m messed-up too, you know. It’s not our fault so we shouldn’t care. _You_ shouldn’t care.”

Nagisa tried his best to give him an encouraging smile.

“We’re going to heal together, right, Rei-chan?”

Rei nodded slowly when he realized Nagisa was waiting for an answer. Nagisa’s smile widened and became more natural. His expression soon turned serious.

“But you have to promise me something.” He began.

He lightly grabbed Rei’s scarred arms.

“Don’t do this to yourself again. I’ll help you, okay? Trust me.”

Rei found it strange how authoritative Nagisa could be. His tears stopped as Nagisa took his hands away and continued to look at him, waiting for an answer again. Rei brought his arm up and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“I promise.” He said quietly.

Nagisa’s smile returned and Rei’s heart warmed up at the sight.

“I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun.”

\---

“Rei-chan.”

Nagisa’s voice was much softer now.

“Why don’t you try to feel pleasure instead of pain?”

Rei's mouth opened and closed in his surprise. Nagisa had a small grin on his lips. Rei’s eyes softened and he gazed into Nagisa’s magenta eyes.

“Won’t you help me?” He said, his voice now strong and confident.

Nagisa blinked multiple times, a rosy shade coming to his cheeks. He wasn’t expecting this response at all. A bright smile forms on his lips, something Rei hadn't seen in so long.

“Sure!”

They both looked up when they felt cold raindrops fall on their skin. Nagisa grabbed his crutches with the help of his partner and glanced in the direction of Rei’s house before looking back at him.

“Come on, let’s go back home.”


	33. End 2 part 3 AiMomo

_A year and a few months after the AMR project._

It wasn’t the good life for the boys but it wasn’t the hell they had lived through a year ago. Their memories were intact and they just wished they would up and vanish one day.

Momotarou’s breathing was quick and short. He was lacking so much oxygen that his head spun.

He was back in the white room.

The shackles, the TV, the cameras; they were all there. Worse of all, his man was there. He looked more mischievous now and seemed stronger. The sight of this room just made him suffocate.

Why was he back in here?

He had felt it. The experiment wasn’t done. There was more to come. The year he had spent back at home… it was just a break. Now he was back for more agony. He wasn’t ready. He would never be ready.

His heartbeat quickened when his man walked toward him. He shrieked when he was yanked forward by his hair.

“Choose, Momotarou. The TV or the operating room.”

He had barely registered the man’s words.

“W-what? Choose? I want neither one. Why am I back here?” He yelled as he clawed at the man’s hand.

“Then I’ll choose for you.”

He was yanked forward again and he passed the shackles attached to the wall. He gasped when he realized the man had chosen the operating room.

“W-wait, I’ll choose! I want the TV! The TV!”

His cries were left in the air as they left the room. His eyes watered when he saw the somewhat familiar door and his memories came back in a wave.

“Please, let me go! I thought I was cured, what am I doing back here?”

Again, he wasn’t acknowledged and the door opened. The mere sight of the metal operating table made his knees go weak and he started crying and fighting against his man. He was thrown onto the table and strapped in. A man in white appeared beside him. Momotarou’s eyes widen when he saw the man’s face.

It was Nitori, now much older but still very much him.

“This will be a success, Momo-kun.”

He squeezed his eyes shut when Nitori brought the scalpel he was holding toward his face.

\---

He woke up sweating but more importantly, restrained. Someone was putting their weight on him and keeping his arms bound to the bed. This didn’t help to ease his fear. He struggled against the unknown person.

Momotarou soon realized in the dim light that it was Nitori, his housemate. A single look at his blue eyes made the events of his dream come back at full force. The images of his dream exploded in his mind, bright and vivid. Nitori’s face behind a surgical mask appeared, taking all the space. His vision turned red in a moment.

Before he knew what he was doing, his arm was up in the air despite the hand restraining it. Skin and skin made contact and in an instant, Nitori was down to floor. The blood dripping down from his nose tainted the brown carpet below.

Momotarou was panting hard, his eyes fixed on the body on the floor. His hand was shaking with a force of its own and no amount of pressing could make it stop. The gravity of his action hit him when Nitori sat up, tears in his eyes and a bloody hand to his nose.

The hurt was obvious in Nitori’s face. The pain was showing but there was no shock mixed in. This was a normal occurrence to him. Momotarou had woken up multiple times during the week with bloodshot eyes and a heaving chest. Nitori was always there to keep his friend from hurting himself and also to try and wake him up so he wouldn’t have to go through any more anguish.

As the only person there, he tended to receive the stray fists. Today was different though. Momotarou had voluntarily lashed out at him. A stray fist didn’t have the same strength as a fist with force behind it. Nitori was actually light-headed. Usually, the most he got was a bruise. Since this was a first for him, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He looked up and immediately knew he didn’t have anything to do.

Momotarou felt bad, he really did, but when he thought back to the days when Nitori was an unstable nuclear bomb that often exploded he couldn’t help but think it was fair for him to have to deal with him now. Even with these unkind, selfish feelings, he still had to take care of the mess he had made. He calmed himself down with a breath and crouched down before the pale gray-haired boy.

He brought his now steady hands to Nitori’s face. Nitori’s long hair tickled him. Warm blood fell on his hands but he ignored it.

“I’m sorry, Ai-chan. I didn’t mean to…” He said quietly. “Come on, I’ll help you clean this up.”

Nitori stared at him for a moment before he stood up. The two left for the bathroom.

\---

The only sound to be heard was the TV in the living room. The two housemates ate silently. Their plates barely had one third of it filled up. The two didn’t eat much anymore for different reasons but they had a common thought. They didn’t trust putting food into their mouths anymore. One didn’t trust the content of the food while the other always had the feeling he would puke it out.

Momotarou was now cutting his chicken breast with an unsettling slowness. Nitori hated seeing him do that. It was like he was analyzing the meat.

“It’s just chicken.” He muttered under his breath.

Momotarou looked up. He hadn’t understood what he had said. He assumed Nitori was speaking to himself again like he did so frequently and so said nothing.

They spent the day working together. Now that they were home-schooled, they worked together every day. It was the only time the two truly got along and enjoyed each other’s company. It was complicated. The two always had to take care of each other and it tired them out. Despite that, the two did love each other; it just didn’t show as much as other people.

Momotarou let out a sharp breath when he heard a sound before he could put his earphones into his ears. His eyes shot around the room before settling on the window. The nearly familiar sound came from outside.

A chain of thoughts appeared in his mind. What if whatever was outside had purposely been put there? There weren’t many animals he wasn’t familiar with around here and he wasn’t sure what sound that was. If it was put there with a purpose, is it possible that it’s spying on him and Nitori? That must have been it. Momotarou had come to think that the experiment wasn’t over. That the time they were spending here in Japan was just a long break.

He grabbed his pen and left his room. Nitori glanced at him as he went outside. He was going to catch whatever that animal was and check every centimeter of its body. He finally saw it. It was a raccoon. The fact that he wasn’t used to seeing them here and that it was the animal the Toe Labs staff had used before he left the lab made him even more suspicious.

After a bit of a fight, he had his arm wrapped around it despite its struggle.

“Where the hell is the camera? Is there even a microphone?”

The animal struggled even more when its body was probed on every inch.

“Where the hell is it?” Momotarou hissed.

Frustrated, he punched the floor. He picked up the pen he had dropped on the floor and raised it above the raccoon’s muzzle.

“You won’t be moving around anymore if you’re dead.”

And he brought it down with all the strength he had.

Nitori heard a high-pitched screeched and jumped. It took him a second to realize that it came from an animal. A screaming animal and Momotaru being outside could only mean one thing. He hurried out the door.

The scene before him was almost unreal. Blood tainted Momotarou’s yellow shirt as he brought down the pen once more on a distressed raccoon. Maggots started leaving the creature’s mouth and Nitori started hyperventilating despite knowing what he was seeing wasn’t real. He gasped and ran to Momotarou.

“What are you doing? Stop it!” He yelled.

He grabbed Momotarou’s bloody hands and dug his nails into the soft skin. Momotarou pushed him back with a yell.

“They’re spying on us! I know it! There’s a camera or something on it. It needs to die!”

Nitori couldn’t believe the words coming out of Momotarou’s mouth.

“What are you saying? There’s no reason to kill an animal for that!”

A strong push brought Nitori’s back to the grass.

“Why don’t you ever believe me?” Momotarou shouted, his voice cracking.

Nitori sat up and just shook his head.

“Because it’s ridiculous! You’re always talking about the experiment and how it’s not over but _it is_ over, Momo! We’re cured, there’s no reason for this to continue!”

The redhead’s fiery eyes told him he hadn’t gotten through. He did the only thing he could think of. He jumped forward and took Momotarou into his arms. As expected, Momotarou stopped moving. Nitori squeezed hard.

“Come on, Momo-kun, you’re just ruining yourself. Listen to me.” He said to him, his voice now softer. “The experiment is over. We’re free. The only things bringing us down is the past and our fear. Let it go like I’m doing. Let go of your fear and your past, Momo-kun.”

He was now caressing his head and back like a little child. Momotarou stayed still for a few seconds before burying his face into the nook of Nitori’s neck like he had done during the single visit of the months-long experiment.

Nitori let him. It brought back memories but it was fine. It was the only good moment of the experiment so he had to cherish it. He finally told himself to move when the raccoon touching his legs had stopped moving. He tapped Momotarou’s back.

“Come on, we have to get you clean. We’ve seen too much blood today.” He said quietly, his voice slightly shaky.

He received a little nod in return and they headed back inside.

“I’m sorry.” Momo whispered.

A small smile formed on Nitori’s lips.

“I’m sorry too.”


	34. End 2 part 4 Makoharu FINAL

_A year and a few months after the AMR project._

It wasn’t the good life for the boys but it wasn’t the hell they had lived through a year ago. Their memories were intact and they just wished they would up and vanish one day.

It seemed it had been multiple years since Haru’s parents came to visit him before leaving him in the Tachibana family’s care. Haru was now a normal part of the day for the Tachibana household. They had even adapted to a “no seafood” policy for him. They made sure nothing would bother him here and he was thankful for that. Now, Makoto and Haru were constantly together.

Makoto ascended up the stone stairs step by step. The light, warm breeze appeased his heart as he got closer and closer to his destination. He could see the tall stones from where he was which made a subtle uneasiness grow deep in his chest. He took his last step and stopped to scan the many tombstones.

"In the far east, right corner." He whispered to himself.

He finally found the one he was looking for and crouched down. He brought the white flowers to his nose before setting them down in front of the new tombstone. There wasn’t a single crack in it nor was any vegetation growing on it. The elements had barely ate at it yet.

“Hello, Tamura-san.” He said gently. “I used to see you almost every morning but it’s been a while now, hasn’t it? I decided to visit you today. The food you gave me all the time was delicious. Haru and I will never forget the taste of it, I assure you.”

He turned his head when he heard footsteps. Haru had caught up to him, somehow. He had a scarf around his neck despite the heat outside. His long hair covered his ears, giving him even more warmth. His body had gotten used to heat and now he wasn’t breaking a sweat. Makoto was in short-sleeved shirt but Haru had his winter uniform on. The school allowed him to keep his winter uniform on for now.

“How did you know I would be here?” Makoto asked as he stood up.

Haru looked down at the tombstone, his eyes travelling from the name engraved in it to the neatly-placed white flowers.

“I saw you pick flowers so I guessed it was either for your fish or Tamura-san.”

Makoto looked back the white flowers.

“I see. I just wanted to tell her how much I enjoyed her food. It really sucks she had to catch the virus too.” He said quietly.

Haru gave him a look of concern and Makoto gave him a smile in response.

“Let’s get going, Haru.” He said softly.

Haru knew it was a forced smile but said nothing.

The two made their way down the stone steps as the sea made itself heard in the distance.

\---

Makoto really wanted to go up to the roof. The air was refreshing and he had all the space he could need to breathe. He also liked the memories he had up there. He remembered the time when everyone from the swimming club ate together there. Nagisa always had his unhealthy sandwiches and Rei’s lunches were always perfect in both presentation and content. The two were homeschooled so he had no chance for this happen again. At least he visited them to see how they were doing so he had the chance to eat with them. Even Gou decided to leave Makoto and Haru alone this year. Those memories were just that: memories.

There was another reason though. He remembered that day well. It was a week after the two started school to repeat their last year. They went up to the roof to eat like they used to do but it didn’t end well. A single look at the school’s pool was enough to agitate Haru. He remembered Haru’s terrified face and the ascending and descending movement of his chest as his friend started hyperventilating. Haru had grabbed his sleeves with shaking hands like a little child.

It was obvious that the roof was a big no for lunch. Now, they ate under a tree on solid ground with the sun shining on them. Makoto still had space so he dealt with it for Haru’s sake. Besides, he was always happy to see Haru drinking his juice and eating his food. Haru didn’t eat much so Makoto loved to see him eat.

The walk home was mostly silent except for Makoto’s barely audible singing. Haru’s heartbeat picked up when he listened to the words leaving his friend’s mouth. He thought back to the time when he first heard Makoto singing that song. It was obvious that Makoto was unconsciously singing it and Haru listened in on it since they were studying together.    

It was unsettling to say the least.

When he asked, Makoto admitted to thinking he was the little boy back when he was in his room. Haru couldn’t had said much so he told him that nobody was mad at him and that he should stop singing that song. Makoto had nodded but here he was, singing it again.

“Makoto, stop singing that song.” Haru said immediately, his voice somewhat strict.

Makoto turned his head in Haru’s direction but didn’t look at him. He turned back to looking forward, mild panic on his face and a hand to his forearm.

“I’m sorry, I won’t sing it again.” He whispered, his voice shaking like that of a child who knew it did something wrong.

Haru was aware he hadn’t done it on purpose and was mad at himself for calling him out on it like that. He didn’t have the courage to apologize so he looked down at the ground, guilt spreading in his heart.   

They continued walking down the path in silence.

“I want to swim.” Makoto suddenly said after a few minutes.

Haru slowly looked up at him.

“I still want to be a swimming coach. Smiling faces and joyful laughs still make me happy.”

Haru found it strange he still wanted to swim. Everyone else had stopped. Haru knew why. All eight of them were linked by the thing they loved: swimming. That link was connected to another link they all had: having taken part on the AMR Project. Everyone unconsciously or perhaps, consciously and purposely quitted swimming for that reason.

But Haru was happy to hear this nonetheless. This meant Makoto was thinking of the future and he knew he had one despite everything that happened to him.

Makoto nodded to himself.

“Yeah. If nothing happens to me, that’s what I definitely want to do.” He said, his green eyes lit up.

Haru was wondering why he had said those words but he didn’t want to disturb his happiness with it. Instead he gave him a reassuring smile.

“Go for it. I’ll be your support.”

Makoto smiled, this time genuinely.

“Thanks, Haru.”

\---

Haru finally gathered up his courage and knocked on Makoto’s door. The latter let him in instantly.

“What’s wrong? You look troubled.” Makoto asked him when he entered his room.

Haru unconsciously brought a hand up to his face at his words. His hand fell down and he looked off to the side. He could see Makoto move from his peripheral vision. With a sigh, he looked back at Makoto.

“Can you help me?” He asked, his voice quiet.

Makoto looked at him for a moment.

“Of course. What for?”

Haru chewed on his lip and looked down at his feet. The courage he had gathered up was leaving him and guilt and fear came to replace it. In the end, he had no courage left.

Haru shook his head and started turning back.

“Nevermind, sorry for disturbing you.”

A hand came and stopped him from leaving. He turned back to see Makoto’s green eyes.

“Wait, tell me. It’s important, isn’t it? Tell me.”

Makoto knew whatever Haru wanted his help for was important and that it needed courage. It was obvious to him that Haru had lost that courage a moment ago. He knew if he let this be, it wouldn’t help Haru in the least.

“Come on.” Makoto urged him on.

Haru stared at him for a moment before turning back around, his eyes to the ground.

“I want to go back to before all this happened. I’ve changed too much.” Haru looked up and stared into Makoto’s eyes.

“I need your help. I want to be able to take a bath again. I can take showers but that’s not me. I’ve even given up on swimming. I want this to change.”

Makoto wasn’t quite expecting that. In fact, he never thought Haru would even try to get over his fear. Yet here he was, asking for help.

Makoto removed his hand from Haru’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

He wasn’t sure Haru was ready for this. But then again, would he ever be ready? Makoto didn’t want to force him nor did he want for him to give up. He was relieved when Haru slowly nodded. He took his hand and opened the door.

“Come on, let’s go.”

In an instant, they were in the bathroom. Makoto urged Haru to remove his clothes as he filled the tub. He was careful to make the temperature not too cold or too hot. Makoto turned back to see Haru in the swimsuit he used to wear a year ago. It was something he hadn’t seen in so long that he couldn’t help but smile. Haru looked away in response and Makoto stood up, an even wider smile on his lips.

“Let’s start with the feet.”

Haru obeyed and sat down on the side of the tub to dip his feet in. He swung his feet back and forth in the water and Makoto was relieved to see that Haru wasn’t panicking. He knew he would panic on the next step though.

“Think you can sit in it?” Makoto asked, reassuring hands on Haru’s shoulders.

Haru stared at the clear water for a good amount of time. Haru looked up when the feeling of Makoto’s hands vanished.

“Look, those muscles will pull you right up no matter what.”

Haru stared at him. Makoto had gotten much skinnier now that he was swimming and eating less. Haru had no idea if Makoto was serious or joking but he smiled at him for his sake.

“I’ll try.” He finally answered.

Makoto squeezed Haru’s shoulders and pushed him in. A sharp breath left Haru’s lips but Makoto continued pushing him in. It was the only way for this to work. He was ready to apologize to him when this was done.

Haru didn’t get up immediately as expected. His arms were straight and he was digging his nails into his thighs. His lips and arms were shaking and Makoto squeezed Haru’s shoulder to remind him he was there. Haru’s eyes kept on staring at the clear water, the shaking spreading to his entire body.

“I can’t.” Haru whispered harshly, his eyes filling up with water. “I can’t afterall. I’m going to…”

His words transformed into unintelligible whispers that seemed to be growing in panic every second. Makoto gasped when Haru suddenly stood up, nearly hitting him in the process. He hurried to take hold of him. He was surprised when Haru pushed him away with his elbow. His blue eyes were filled with fear and tears and the image of a crying Haru came back to Makoto’s mind.

“Haru? Haru, you’re fine. Come on, I’m right here. I won’t hurt you.”

Makoto brought him closer and rubbed his back but Haru was looking down at the water, his eyes far away.

“Haru.” Makoto called out softly.

Haru didn’t move an inch. A single tear fell down his eye to drop down and join the water below. Makoto sighed quietly and leaned forward so his forehead touched Haru’s.

“Haru, look at me please.” He said lightly, his voice almost a whisper.

Wide blue eyes travelled to his green ones.

“I won’t let you drown, Haru. I won’t let you get hurt. _I_ won’t hurt you, I swear. I’ll keep you safe no matter what. Do you trust me?”

Haru blinked and stared like he hadn’t understood the question. When Makoto thought he hadn’t been heard, Haru nodded. Makoto smiled and brought his hands up to Haru’s cheeks.

“We’ll do this together, okay?”

Haru nodded again and Makoto pushed him back down. Makoto was glad to see Haru wasn’t resisting against him.

They were going to succeed, he was sure of it.

\---

“He has to go back?”

Those words made Haru stop dead in his tracks.

“Why did he hide this from us?” He heard Makoto’s mother say, her voice shaky.

“I thought he was fine.” Makoto’s father said with a sigh.

Haru didn’t hesitate to enter the kitchen.

“What do you mean he has to go back?”

Makoto’s parents both looked up quickly at the voice. They were visibly relieved to see it was Haru and not one of their children. Ms. Tachbana held up a letter.

“I went in Makoto’s room to drop off his clothes and I saw this sticking out of a drawer. I didn’t mean to intrude but _Toe Labs_ was written on it so I had to see. It was already open which means he read it already. I can’t imagine how he felt.” She told him, her face in her hands.

“I never thought he would keep it to himself. I guess he was going to show us when he was ready.” Mr. Tachibana said as he took the letter from his wife.

It was hard to believe for Haru.

“Weren’t we all cured?” He whispered, his eyes full of disbelief.

The two adults looked at each other.

“For Makoto, his virus was dormant so it was possible for a relapse to happen. We never thought it would actually happen…” His voice trailed off.

“Now he has to visit a hospital to check on him. If the virus is dormant, he’ll be back in a day. If not, he will have to go to Tokyo to get himself treated.” Ms. Tachibana finished.

Haru bit his lip and his hands tightened into fists. Makoto hadn’t seem strange today. He was acting totally normal. Haru didn’t think Makoto could hide his feelings like that. Makoto used to be an open book for him.

Haru turned around without another word and left the kitchen. He entered Makoto’s room and sat down on his bed. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Makoto always stayed at school to study three times a week. He always came back at the same time. Haru was going to wait for him.

Makoto froze up when he saw Haru sitting on his bed. He frowned and closed the door behind him.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, a slight quiver in his voice.

Makoto wasn’t totally clueless. Haru went straight to the point.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?” He said immediately.

What Haru really wanted to say was why he didn’t at least tell him? It would only be natural to tell your best friend about something like that.

Makoto knew what Haru was truly thinking and he felt bad for it. He lowered his head and bowed, his hands gripping his pants tightly.

“I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you...”

He looked up when Haru suddenly stood up. He instinctively backed away when Haru walked forward, his blues eyes serious. Makoto gasped quietly when his back made contact with the door behind him. He never thought he would be scared of his best friend before. He didn’t even know if Haru was angry or not. Would he actually hit him for hiding this from him? Was it a big mistake to hide this from him?

“When?” Haru let out.

Makoto blinked, a multitude of thoughts swirling in his mind.

“Eh?”

“When are you leaving?” Haru elaborated.

Makoto was shocked despite himself. Haru hadn’t even touched him. In fact, Haru didn’t even look angry. He just looked like he usually did.

“In two weeks…” Makoto finally answered.

Haru nodded and reached for the door handle.

“I’m not going to hit you for that. I’ll never hit you.” Haru assured him as he left the room.

Haru was sad he even had to tell him this.

He entered his room and hurried to grab his painting supplies. He wanted to paint something for him and he was determined to finish before he left. Somehow, he was certain the virus in Makoto was alive and killing him slowly. He wanted to cheer him up with something he made so his life wouldn’t be as miserable when he woke up from the treatment.

He went to work instantly.

\---

Haru had spent the two weeks making sure Makoto didn’t enter his room and in a way, ignored him. He was focused on his painting and barely left his room. He realized this when the day for Makoto to leave came and the latter seemed ashamed to see him. Haru felt extreme guilt at the expression alone.

Makoto’s parents were already in the car and his siblings were away at club activities when Haru stopped Makoto at the door. Makoto noticed the rectangular canvas in Haru’s hands and everything started making sense. Haru followed his gaze and looked down at the ground.

“I wanted to give you this before you leave.” Haru said softly.

Haru turned the canvas around and Makoto gasped. It was the painting of both the sky and the sea with familiar animals in the dark water. He knew who those animals represented without asking. The whale was the biggest and the one drawn with the most detail. Haru had seen Haru’s paintings before but this was just a masterpiece coming from him.

“It’s beautiful, Haru!” He gasped.

Haru surprisingly smiled at the compliment.

“I wanted to help you so you won’t be down when you wake up after your treatment.”

He held up his painting.

“The sky and the sea are everywhere, no matter where you are. So no matter what happens, no matter what the weather's like outside, even when you can’t see beyond the walls of your room, you can see blue sky, right here… and maybe even think about me while you’re at it.” He mumbled the last part, a slight blush covering his cheek.

Haru quickly looked up when Makoto started laughing. He jumped when arms suddenly wrapped around him.

“Thank you, Haru, I’ll put it right beside me and I’ll be sure to look at it when I wake up.”

Makoto pulled back and took his present. Haru’s look of concern for him warmed his heart.

“I’ll come back healthy, I promise.”

Makoto said his goodbyes and turned around to get to the car.

“We’ll swim together when you come back.”

Makoto stopped in his tracks and turned around, his eyes as bright as the sun above.

“Really?” Makoto asked, his eyes wide.

Haru smiled and nodded. A bright smile formed on Makoto’s lips.

“I look forward to it!”

He hurried into the car when his father quietly urged him to enter the car. The two best friends waved at each other before the car disappeared from Haru’s view. He sighed softly and turned around to enter the house.

Nothing would ever come back to normal but they could at least try to make their world better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done guys! Man, this took forever. I'm so sorry guys. Anyways, thank you for sticking to the end, it was nice!
> 
> Aers_Radio is writing a sequel to this so check it out when it's out.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Young Adult Traumatic Experience Recovery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109431) by [AERS_Radio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AERS_Radio/pseuds/AERS_Radio)
  * [Return to Iwate - a YATER epilogue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118301) by [AERS_Radio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AERS_Radio/pseuds/AERS_Radio)




End file.
